


(Unwilling) Second Chance

by teddy91205



Series: All Over Again [1]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: 1940s, Aftermath of Torture, Aftermath of Violence, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - 1940s, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Spoilers, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Canon Divergence - Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Canon Divergence - Captain America: The First Avenger, Canon-Typical Violence, Captain America: The First Avenger, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Romance, Everything Hurts, Extremis Tony Stark, HYDRA Trash Party, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hurt Tony Stark, Hurt/Comfort, Hydra (Marvel), Hydra Bucky Barnes, Hydra Tony Stark, Loss of Limbs, M/M, Memory Suppressing Machine | The Chair (Marvel), Non-Consensual Body Modification, Non-Consensual Drug Use, POV Tony Stark, Post-Avengers: Endgame (Movie), Post-Captain America: The First Avenger, Super Soldier Serum, Swearing, Time Travel, Tony Stark Needs a Hug, Torture, Violence, Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-08-10
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:55:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 24
Words: 70,959
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25830937
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teddy91205/pseuds/teddy91205
Summary: When Tony snaps his fingers he knows he won't survive which is why he doesn't expect to wake up. Especially not at the bottom of a mountain in the 1940s right after Bucky's fall. When they're taken by Soviets and later Hydra Tony and Bucky will need to try and escape but it won't come easily or quickly. It will take a long time to come home if home is what it ever was.One thing they have in common is that they both have a very long coming home story.***Note: I've rated this work Explicit because there are very graphic descriptions of violence, torture etc.[ON HIATUS, NOT ABANDONED]
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes & Steve Rogers, James "Bucky" Barnes & Tony Stark, James "Bucky" Barnes/Tony Stark
Series: All Over Again [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1874254
Comments: 467
Kudos: 602
Collections: Marvel Verse FF





	1. The Afterlife Sucks

**Author's Note:** **Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tony snaps his fingers he knows he won't survive which is why he doesn't expect to wake up. Especially not at the bottom of a mountain in the 1940s right after Bucky's fall. When they're taken by Soviets and later Hydra Tony and Bucky will need to try and escape but it won't come easily or quickly. It will take a long time to come home if home is what it ever was.
> 
> ***
> 
> One thing they both have in common is that they both have a very long coming home story.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like it's obvious but I am unfortunately not lucky enough to own marvel or any of their characters, this work is all fiction and because I absolutely refuse to believe endgame happened and this is my way of living in denial forever.
> 
> Also I'll just put this here but TW for the book, there are graphic descriptions of violence, torture, brainwashing, death and other things like that. I've put this here just so you know what to expect in a large majority of the chapters so if that sort of stuff bothers you, you probably shouldn't because theres a LOT of it and I'm really forgetful so I'll probably forget to put TW at the beginning of chapters if they're needed and they will apply for almost every chapter so yeh.

He was dying. Rhodey was the first to find him, sweet, loyal Rhodey was kneeling by him looking like losing Tony was going to tear him apart. Everything was slipping away so quickly.  
  
Peter, the innocent Spider-Kid who had looked up to him was there, choking out how they had won. He hadn't changed at all in the past 5 years, Tony knew he was going to miss him.  
  
And Pepper, his loving wife who always put up with his bullshit was there as well, god, he'd caused her so much pain with all the stunts he pulled over the years and here he was doing it all over again. He mustered up what strength he could and managed a soft, "Hey Pep." She was crying and that wasn't right, Pepper wasn't supposed to cry but she was choking back sobs, her beautiful blue eyes filled with tears.  
  
"Tony, we're gonna be okay." She told him softly, "You can rest now."  
  
He had gotten so lucky, he had Pepper and Morgan when so many others had lost so much. He didn't want to leave his little girl. He hoped she would be proud of him, he'd saved the world - made it safer for them. Even if he wouldn't be around to see it.  
  
He was slipping away, fading. He could give into sleep now though, Pepper had said he could rest now, she wouldn't say it if she hadn't meant it. She wouldn't lie to him.  
  
The darkness advanced across his sight, stealing it bit by bit, until the last thing he saw before he gave into the blissful nothingness, was everyone's faces. Sad and resigned.  
  
  
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Then he was jolting awake. The blinding whiteness almost painful to look at. Where was he? Heaven? He had imagined heaven to be more full of colour and not quite as cold. He imagined himself to not be in quite as much pain either. He had never really believed in an afterlife but after everything that happened? Gods, aliens, magic, time travel and so much more. Why not? He had no reason to believe heaven couldn't be cold - but he'd thought he would be more at peace, the biting cold and all encompassing pain wasn't very peaceful.  
  
His eyes darted around frantically taking in his surroundings. He was barely able to move his head, it felt like he was trying to lift a car without his suit on. The thought of this being hell briefly flickered through his mind but he quickly dismissed the thought. After all he had done, sacrificing his life for the universe - well, he really didn't let his mind linger on that particular thought for long.  
  
His eyes passed over a dark mound in the snow, before his eyes jerked back over to it.  
  
Another poor soul layed out in the snow. Trying to concentrate on the figure through the pain of his injuries was proving to be difficult. The person was facing him, squinting his eyes Tony tried to discern the face of his equally unfortunate friend in the snow.  
  
Tony did a double take, because that figure right there in the snow, that was James Buchanan Barnes, Bucky, the infamous Winter Soldier. Albeit, his hair was short and he looked much younger than he had on the battlefield. This couldn't be right, Tony was sure that Barnes hadn't died during the battle. He was supposed to have saved everyone - had _wanted_ to save everyone. Barnes was meant to be alive. His breathing was laboured and the rise and fall of his chest could barely be seen. Did the dead need to breathe?  
  
He supposed this meant that Barnes had died sometime during the final fight, god Cap was going to be heart broken, to get his friend back after 5 years just to lose him again. Because what other explanation was there? There was no reason for the poor guy to be here.  
  
Tony wanted to make sure that Barnes was ok but the slight movement pulled at his right side and agony tore through him leaving him panting for air.  
  
Just before he passed out Tony caught sight of Barnes' arm, his _left_ arm. It was mangled and clearly broken but unmistakably flesh, not the Vibranium arm he'd gotten in Wakanda.  
  
This just confused Tony further.  
  
He wanted to make sure Barnes was okay but there was no use in trying anything else, he could feel the darkness creeping up on him once again. He wondered if this time it would be permanent.  
  
  
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His first thought was that he wasn't freezing. He was far from being comfortably warm but he wasn't freezing to death in snow. The next was that he was somehow, against all odds still alive. It was turning out to be harder than he had thought to die, wielding the infinity stones and snapping his figure should have killed him. Then in the snow his injuries and the cold should have killed him too, as should have the various unfortunate incidents throughout his life but nope, here he was alive or in some weird, vivid afterlife. He was going with weird, vivid afterlife.  
  
Then he registered voices, they were speaking, he didn't know what they were saying the words seemed like gibberish. Bit by bit the pain in his head receded until he realised he knew the language that was being spoken, he just didn't understand it.  
  
Two voices argued in rapid fire Russian and Tony slowly opened his eyes to take in his surroundings. He wasn't cold anymore because he was inside some type of, truck? The snow was replaced by a wooden floor and the chill of winter air.  
  
The suit. It was gone. These people had taken his suit, he didn't know who they were but he knew that they couldn't have it. It may not have been in perfect condition but the weaponry and even just the suit itself was technology that would be dangerous in the wrong hands. He didn't know what they wanted with the suit or what they would do with it but they couldn't have it.  
  
He jostled his right arm, a pained groan escaping him, the Russians abruptly stopped talking evidently having heard his groan. Two men came into his line of sight dressed in old Soviet uniforms which - weird. He wasn't able to take in any other information as a combat boot came crashing down on his face knocking him out instantly.  
  
  
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When he next came to it was as the truck he was in came to a rattling stop. The pain was almost unbearable, his head was pounding and everytime his arm so much as shifted it sent bolts of pain racing through his body. This was so unfair, he was sure the dead weren't meant to be able to feel pain.  
  
As he looked around he realized that the Russians were nowhere in sight, but he saw Barnes sitting in the shadows, thank god for a familiar face, but the more Tony studied him the more confused he got. Barnes' youthfulness, cut hair and mangled but flesh arm didn't look anything like the Barnes he saw on the battlefield. He had a theory but it sounded impossible even to Tony.  
  
"Hey," Tony whispered, "please tell me you know what the hell's going on?" Tony didn't use Barnes' name you could never be too cautious, especially if his theory turned out to be right.  
  
Barnes surveyed him with caution. "I'm glad to hear a fellow American, but your guess is as good as mine." He leant forward slightly, wincing in pain as the movement jolted his arm painfully. He didn't act as if he knew Tony which was making his ridiculous theory seem more and more realistic.  
  
Needing to distract himself he decided to make conversation with Barnes, "So, do you know where we are?"  
  
"Last I knew we were somewhere in Austria, we've been travellin' for who knows how long, could've been days, but don't you worry, Captain America's probably on his way and you'll see there's nothin' to worry about." Barnes really looked like he believed it as well, like he knew that Cap was on his way at that very second. "Ya know he's probably off that train already and on his way to rescue me, us, right now."  
  
Tony couldn't believe it, everything the former - current? Sergeant said had just confirmed his theory. He knew time travel was possible, he was the one to have made it work after all but like this, no machine, no Pym particles, he just couldn't fathom it.  
  
"Hey, sergeant, this is gonna sound stupid but, what year is it?"  
  
"1945, jesus how hard did they hit ya?" He looked vaguely concerned and looked like he was going to ask another question but the engine was shut off. Footsteps rounded the truck and the back was thrown open.  
  
He and Barnes were grabbed and dragged out of the back, they both cried out in pain as their arms were handled roughly.  
  
He cursed enough to make a sailor blush.  
  
Both of them had black bags thrown over their heads and were led through winding corridors where Tony eventually lost track of how many right and left turns they had taken. He heard metal screeching (which did nothing for his headache) and was thrown unceremoniously onto the concrete floor.  
  
The bag was ripped from his head, looking around they were in some type of cell, there were two mats on the floor and nothing else. The cell door slammed shut and they sat in the dark for a moment.  
  
He had pushed himself up against the wall needing the support. It took a while for his eyes to adjust to the lack of lighting, but as he did he saw a heap not far from him, he guessed it was Barnes. "You ok?" Tony croaked out.  
  
Barnes gave a humourless laugh, "Yeh, yeh, was just hoping my time as a prisoner of war was over." He tried to sound carefree but Tony used that tone more than anyone alive, he could hear the anger and slight fear. What was he meant to do, tell him everything would be alright? That his best friend Captain America was on his way? He couldn't do that to Barnes, and if this was 1945 and Tony had somehow time travelled he couldn't give Barnes hope when he knew better. No, Cap was going to crash the plane in the Arctic and take a nice, long nap. And this right now. This was the beginning of the Winter Soldier.  
  
Barnes sat up and Tony scooted over to him and bumped their uninjured shoulders lightly and carefully. "Hey Brooklyn, tell me something about yourself." Trying to make small talk to keep their minds off their particularly shitty situation.  
  
"Brooklyn? Damn is it really that obvious?"  
  
"Yeh, now come on."  
  
"Well, like you said Brooklyn born an' raised. What 'bout you? Did they pick you up in the snow as well? What were you even doin' out there?" Barnes sure knew how to ask question even Tony didn't know the answers for.  
  
"They did pick me up in the snow but, I, uh, don't really remember how I got there." It wasn't really a lie he really didn't know how he had gotten here. "Do I know you? You look really familiar?" Tony redirected, he wasn't meant to know Barnes and this was an easy way to get him to tell Tony who he was.  
  
Barnes let out a short chuckle, "I'm James Buchanan Barnes. What else d'ya wanna know?" Tony shrugged and made a vague gesture with his hands for Barnes to carry on. "Umm... I'm the oldest of 4, I joined the army, 107th, then I was a part of the Howling Cammandos and here I am."  
  
"Wow Brooklyn, I feel enlightened by that detailed account of your life," Tony drawled.  
  
"Call me Bucky, and you're a sarcastic bastard ain't ya. What should I be calling you anyway?"  
  
"I'm Tony... Tony Rhodes. So, _Bucky_ , you mentioned our all American hero, how do you know him?"  
  
"Well, _Tony_ , before he got all muscly and badass he was a punk from Brooklyn, not even weighing 100 pounds and he was goin' 'round picking fights with people twice his size. We met as kids, stopped him from getting his ass kicked and carried on doin' it 'till the day I was shipped off." Tony snickered at the image of a tiny Pre-Serum Steve. "Course now he's all big an' strong but he's still a punk, he's stubborn and just doesn't know when to quit. He'll probably keep picking fights 'till the day he dies."  
  
That sounded like an apt description of the Steve Rogers he knew. He felt like the man was rarely capable of looking at the bigger picture sometimes, he had a one-track mind especially when it came to his best bud. To Bucky. He found it hard not to like the man when they weren't butting heads near constantly.  
  
"What about you Tony, what can you tell me about your life?" Tony thought about what would be appropriate to tell Bucky without either sounding crazy or completely shattering the easy going mood they had. God, none of his friends or family except Howard and Maria had even been born yet, and since his presence he had most likely created an alternate timeline, he doubted this future would be the same as his, after all the course of history had already been changed by his presence alone.  
  
He'd never see Morgan again or Pepper or Rhodey or any other member of his surrogate family. He could feel his eyes start to water.  
  
Barnes must have either sensed his mood or seen the tears threatening to spill over. "I'm sorry." His voice sincere and comforting.  
  
"A mechanic. I was a mechanic before the war," he was much more than a simple mechanic but Bucky didn't need to know that, "I love to create."  
  
"I think that's wonderful, lately there've been too many people wanting to destroy." Tony agreed, although he was pretty sure they were talking about different things. Fucking time travel. Bucky let out a yawn.  
  
"Go to sleep. We'll need our strength for when they come back, don't worry I'll wake you up if anyone comes." Bucky mumbled out a thanks, he must have been exhausted because not even a second later he had dropped off to sleep.  
  
  
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Time didn't exist inside the cell. Seconds bled together and Tony couldn't tell how long they had been there. He was still keeping watch when he heard someone approaching, gently shaking Bucky awake the cell door was thrown open. Tony had a gun pointed at his head as two of the guards came in and dragged Bucky out roughly.  
  
"Hey, leave him alone!" They didn't listen to him.  
  
He didn't know what would happen next, he knew that Bucky would lose his arm at some point. Then he'd go through programming, cryostasis, missions and so much more. Tony didn't even know what would happen to him, he wasn't meant to be here. What would they do to him?  
  
  
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What felt like hours later the door was flung open and they threw Bucky in, Tony scrambled over to him and horror dawned in him as he realised that Bucky's arm was gone. They'd taken it already, the stump was covered in bandages that were already soaked through with blood. "Shit Brooklyn, Bucky, are you alright?"  
  
Before he heard the answer one of the soldiers grabbed him and dragged him out of the cell and into some type of medical room down the hall. He was pushed down on a steel table roughly with his wrists and ankles restrained. He thrashed desperately, ignoring the pain in his right arm.  
  
Bucky's arm had been beyond repairing, or at least their ability to repair, or maybe they just didn't want to waste resources on the person that they would turn into their Winter Soldier. Similarly, Tony's arm was burnt and destroyed beyond recognition, there was probably no way to save it.  
  
The only flicker of hope Tony had left was that if they were going to take his arm they weren't planning on killing him any time soon.  
  
A doctor stood next to him with a syringe, he spoke with a thick Russian accent, "You should hope you take to the anaesthetic, your friend didn't." The doctor slipped the needle into his vein and his last thought was that Bucky had been awake through it all.  
  
  
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Tony dreamt of a dusty battlefield, of portals opening and friends joining them back from the dead. He saw his little girl who loved him 3000 and their quaint little farmhouse. He imagined what it would have been like if he had lived, he would _finally_ retire, for real this time though. He would give Peter so many suit upgrades he wouldn't know what to do with them. He dreamt of a life left behind.  
  
  
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Tony woke up to concrete walls and the feeling of fingers running gently through his hair, carefully tugging at knots and soothing his racing mind. Sleep still called to him and the repetitive and soothing motion of the fingers in his hair lulled him back to the sweet nothingness of sleep.  
  
  
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When Tony woke up again the fingers in his hair had stopped but still remained tangled in his strands. He knew that the hand belonged to Bucky, stirring slightly he opened his eyes and looked up at the sergeant.  
  
Seeing the man finally let reality hit Tony, that his family, friends and everyone Tony had ever known were 80 years in the future. Shifting slightly the pain hit him full force.  
  
Bucky looked sorrowful and forced a small smile onto his face, "Mornin' Tony." Tony's eyes were drawn to the stump of what had been Bucky's left arm. Tony lifted his own and reached for his right arm but there was nothing there.  
  
Breaths came out short and fast, he panicked, he could have _saved_ it. He knew that he would have been able to. Looking at where his right arm was supposed to be he stared in horror at the stump. His chest tightened and it became painful to breathe, everything hurt. His lungs couldn't get enough oxygen in and he felt like he was dying all over again.  
  
"Hey, I'm gonna need you to breathe Rhodes, c'mon breathe for me." Barnes sat him up carefully, how was he so calm.  
  
_"I'm trying!"_ The words barely made it out around the panic in his throat.  
  
"Hey it's okay follow my lead, deep breath in, breathe out. Come on, calm down or I'm gonna start freakin' out as well and we can't have that." Tony tried to do as he was told, he drew in a shuddering breath and carefully let it out. He did it again. His lungs started to fill with air again but the shock still clung to him.  
  
"Brooklyn, Bucky, they-" His breathing quickened again but Barnes quickly calmed him down again.  
  
"Hey I know, believe me I do but-" He was cut off by a short laugh from Tony, it was filled with pain. He looked from the stump of his arm to Bucky's and let out another laugh.  
  
"Holy shit, this can't be happening." He whispered in disbelief. The absurdity of the entire situation finally hit him and his laughter grew filling the small room. He sounded crazed. His laughter had changed to sobs at some point and Barnes had set a hand on his shoulder but he didn't know when either of those had happened. His sobs eventually died down but nothing was said between them, after all what would someone even talk about in a situation like this.  
  
Some time later a small hatch at the bottom of the door was opened and a single tray with barely enough food for one person, let alone two, was pushed inside. Bucky picked it up and brought it over, he tilted to the right slightly, the missing weight of his left arm throwing his balance off.  
  
"I'm not all that hungry, you have it." Bucky offered, despite how obvious it was that he desperately wanted some. He couldn't remember Bucky from the future being quite so easy to read.  
  
"Don't be an idiot Brooklyn, none of that self sacrificing bullshit, we'll half it." Tony had enough of self sacrificing to last an entire lifetime let alone two. He picked up a bread roll with the intention of halving it, which was much more difficult with just one arm. Bucky let out a huff before taking the other end and pulling, tearing it in half.  
  
"Let's dig in." Bucky gestured to the mush on the tray, they both ate with their hands. They sat in comfortable silence, glad to have the other there so they didn't have to deal with the pain by themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. This first one was heavily inspired by Loestri's Infinite Value. I know it's really similar but the rest of the story is mine. Also I feel like I should warn you it gets a lot worse and I mean like A LOT.
> 
> Also if the formatting seems weird it's probably since I did this on my phone.


	2. Tony And Bucky Did Not Sign Up For This

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello.
> 
> I've decided updates will be every Monday and every other Thursday. This is so I have time to write chapter that I'm happy with.
> 
> I currently have a few pre-written chapter ready to post but those are there in case I get writers block, this way you guys still get chapters and i dont have to force myself to write chapter and post them without being a 100% certainnthat i like them 
> 
> Any way enough if my rambling. Enjoy.

Once they had finished eating, guards had entered the cell to take the tray, both Tony and Bucky silently agreed not to try anything. They were both in pain and weak, attacking and trying to escape would have done nothing except irritate the guards and that wouldn't have done anyone any good. ~~Apparantly he did have some self preservation skills.~~

After the guards had left Tony and Bucky talked some more about their lives, Tony sticking to only tell bits and pieces he thought couldn't do any harm if overheard.  
  
Where security cameras even a thing yet? He started to regret not paying more attention in history. He wasn't even sure if that was the type of thing that they taught in history. It probably wasn't.  
  
He talked about Rhodey, though he had only used Rhodey's first name and not his nickname or last name, that would have been hard to explain. He mentioned small bits about the other Avengers. He told Bucky they were friends from 'work', they did technically speaking work together. Bucky talked about his family, the missions he had been on and how they shouldn't worry because Steve was probably on his way to rescue them. Tony couldn't find it in himself to even try and change Bucky's mind, he seemed so hopeful and sure. Plus anything could happen in this alternate timeline.  
  
A small part of Tony dared to hope that Bucky was right.  
  
After what Tony assumed had been an hour or so, they ran out of things to talk about for the time being and they went to their separate mats and layed down. The lack of blankets and concrete walls meant that staying warm was hard. Tony curled in a tight ball trying to trap as much heat as he could.  
  
Looking over at Bucky, the man didn't seem to be having as much trouble as him staying warm but the occasional shiver was still present. He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep.  
  
"You having trouble sleeping?" Bucky's voice startled him out of his thoughts.  
  
"Yeh, I'm just cold." Cold was a bit of an understatement.  
  
"Why don't you come here, if we stay close to each other we'll be warmer."  
  
Tony let out an intelligent, "Huh."  
  
"I mean if that make you uncomfortable of somethin' we don't have to."  
  
"No, no, that's a good idea." Tony shuffled over towards Barnes' mat and layed down facing him, he just now noticed how insanely tall Bucky was, Tony was about a head and a half shorter than him.  
  
The man was like a damn radiator, he was letting off so much heat it was no wonder he wasn't freezing to death.  
  
Tony scooted closer to Bucky as discretely as he could, the warmth comforting. Tony felt safe. He didn't think that would be possible, after all he he was in a dangerous position; he was most likely behind enemy lines, stuck in a time that wasn't his own and being held captive by Soviets, but he guessed it helped that Bucky was a familiar face. Even if Bucky didn't know who he was.  
  
Plus he had long since let go of any anger he may have harboured for the man.  
  
Sleep called to him for what seemed like the millionth time since the final fight against Thanos. His final thought before sleep claimed him was if they would be able to get out of this or if Barnes would suffer the same fate he had in Tony's original timeline.  
  
  
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Tony woke to Bucky shaking him awake. "What?" He asked irritated.  
  
"Someone's coming!" Bucky whispered back urgently.  
  
Scrambling over to the back wall Tony sat taunt pressed against it facing the door. He saw the cell door being opened. Fearfully, he watched the same guards from yesterday enter. One of them stood pointing a gun at Tony's head like a good little villain as his friends marched in and dragged Bucky out, Tony opened his mouth to protest but the butt of the gun struck his temple before he could get a single syllable out. He fell back and black dots danced across his vision, Tony could do nothing but watch.  
  
The guards left bolting the door behind them.  
  
Tony sat in the silence for a long time, his thoughts turning dark and morbid. 'What if Bucky doesn't even recognise me when they bring him back.' He didn't know when they started putting him in that awful chair, started erasing everything that made him Bucky. The little bit he had managed to read after the data dump had made him nauseous and he couldn't find it in himself to carry on, so he had no real way of knowing exactly what was happening.  
  
Tony was terrified that when they brought Bucky back the man wouldn't recognise him.  
  
  
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After what seemed like days but in reality was most likely a few hours, the cell door was being opened again and the limp figure carried in by the guards was dumped on the floor.  
  
Once the door had closed and Tony heard footsteps fading away, he scrambled over to Bucky as quickly as he could. "Hey. Hey Bucky, you okay?"  
  
The answering grunt failed to reassure Tony of Bucky's wellbeing. Bucky seemed to sense that and rasped out an, "I'm alright."  
  
"You're a terrible liar Barnes." Tony replied, more gently he asked Bucky if he had wanted to talk about what happened. He hadn't. Tony couldn't blame him for that but felt guilty for the relief he felt. He didn't know what had happened and didn't think he could stomach it if Bucky had told him.  
  
It was then that Tony noticed just how pale Bucky was, reaching over Tony breathed in sharply as he noticed how cold Bucky's hands were. He was trying hard to keep himself awake as well.  
  
Tony was panicking, he wasn't a doctor or any type of medical professional but he had suffered from enough injuries as Iron Man to know the signs of blood loss. That had to say something about how idiotic and reckless he was.  
  
Bucky had nodded off whilst Tony was trying to remember what you were meant to do in these types of situations. Bucky probably would have passed out sooner or later so there wasn't much he could have done about that, and all Tony could remember was that in case of blood loss you should keep the other person warm and get medical help as soon as possible. Since the latter was unlikely Tony decided that he could help out by sharing his body heat.  
  
Laying down next to Bucky he hesitantly pressed their bodies together. He layed there stiff for a while, he wasn't sure how Bucky would react to waking up with Tony pressed up against him, regardless of last night they may have slept close together but not pressed up against each other like this. It was the 1940s after all.  
  
Bit by bit Tony relaxed as sleep crept up on him. Before he knew it he had drifted off.  
  
  
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Tony woke up next to Bucky whose body was stiff and rigid. Looking up at James Tony tried to rub the sleep from his eyes and muttered out a 'good morning.' The sound of Tony's voice seemed to snap James out of his thoughts but he didn't reply and just sat up and moved away from him, looking at him Tony voiced his confusion.  
  
"Hey James, what's wrong?"  
  
James stayed silent for a minute before replying, "Why- why were you sleeping so close to me?"  
  
For a moment Tony thought James was angry at him, after all homophobia wasn't uncommon in the 40s, but looking closely he could see the faint blush on his cheeks.  
  
He decided not to comment on it since he didn't want to make Barnes uncomfortable and instead answered the question, "When they brought you back you looked like you had lost a lot of blood. You were really cold and pale and I didn't know what to do," Tony replied his voice quietening with every word, "I remembered reading somewhere that you should keep the person warm until they could get help, so I tried to help out how I could." His voice was nothing more than a whisper and Tony could feel a blush creeping up his neck painting his own cheeks red. He felt so awkward.  
  
"Oh, thanks then. For you know, helping me out." They sat in an uncomfortable silence neither knowing what to say. Bucky still looked in bad shape but some colour had returned to him and he didn't seem to be having too much trouble keeping warm, he was still shivering but not as often as when he had been brought back to the cell.  
  
They both scrambled away from the door when they heard footsteps drawing closer, holding their breaths as they stopped outside. The latch at the bottom was opened and a tray of food shoved in.  
  
They both let out a sigh of relief as the footsteps faded.  
  
Tony walked over to the tray and set it down between the two of them. "You can have some of my food, because-" Bucky opened his mouth to most likely try and argue that he didn't need the extra food, "-because," Tony continued talking not giving the man a chance to voice his disagreement, "you clearly need it more than I do. I wasn't the one that was brought back unconscious and suffering from blood loss."  
  
Sensing that this was an argument that he wouldn't win Bucky nodded his head in agreement but only after telling Tony that he had to eat something as well.  
  
Bucky reluctantly took the extra food Tony offered to him.  
  
After they had finished eating Tony looked over at Bucky and could see that he had regained most of the colour in his cheeks and didn't seem like he would drop dead at any second. Tony didn't understand why they had wanted Bucky's blood, let alone so much of it. Tony had a feeling that their intentions for taking Bucky's blood weren't very innocent ones.  
  
Tony was startled out of his thoughts by the sound of laughing, it started out breathy and quiet but grew louder every second. Tony looked over at Bucky puzzled, he didn't know what there was to laugh about and Bucky sounded slightly hysterical. He seemed to sense Tony's confusion as he started to calm down.  
  
"This situation is so fucked up and ridiculous," Bucky started to explain, "I'm just havin' a hard time believin' that this is really happening. There's still a part of me that's convinced that this is just a bad dream and I'ma wake up and everything's gonna be alright. I don't know myself why I started laughing, just seemed like a good response to the... ridiculousness of what's happening to us right now. Jesus now I'm rambling, I'm being stupid just- just forget I said anything." Bucky looked away embarrassed.  
  
"No, no I get what you're trying to say. And it's not stupid, just... complicated I guess." Tony replied quickly, he didn't want Bucky to think that he would think less of him if he talked about how he felt. At least something they could agree on was the absurdity of their situation.  
  
Tony still couldn't grasp at the fact that he was stuck in the 1940s with one Pre-Winter Soldier Bucky Barnes. He was quite a bit different from the Barnes he had met.  
  
Tony and Bucky fell into an easy silence, neither having anything to say at the moment, they were both comfortable in each other's presence.  
  
Before Tony knew it he was nodding off, his eyes closing of their own accord and his head dropping down to his chest, he tried hard to stay awake but it was no use.  
  
As he gave into the urge to sleep. He felt Bucky move him onto the mat and lay him down, his head on Bucky's chest. The steady beat of his heart under Tony's ear lulled him over the edge to sleep.  
  
  
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Tony dreamt of Morgan and Pepper, his loving wife and daughter. He dreamt that everything was fine, that they were happy even without him there, that maybe they had stopped grieving and moved on. He didn't know how time flowed between the different timelines, maybe it had been years, his little girl could be all grown up now, he hoped Pepper moved on and found happiness. She deserved that, a happy, carefree life.  
  
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Tony woke up to hands grabbing his shoulder, and left arm. He was dragged to his feet, he didn't know what was happening.  
  
Shaking his head to try and wake himself up Tony blinked the bluriness of sleep from his eyes. It was then he heard the shouting, Bucky was yelling at someone.  
  
It was then that he registered who the hands on him belonged to. Tony started thrashing, trying to break free, but the grip was too strong and he was dragged out of the cell he had been in since he was brought here - wherever here was.  
  
He was yanked down several identical hallways, all of them the same dull grey as the one before. He really needed to figure out why villains liked having such dark, drab lairs. Seriously, it was like none of them were born with a decent taste in interior design.  
  
They finally stopped outside an ominous looking steel door. The room on the other side wasn't any better, the very ugly - ugly but very scary - medical chair in the middle of the room did nothing to ease any of Tony's fears. Although this one wasn't anything like the one they had used to erase Bucky's memories, Tony doubted this was used for anything innocent.  
  
He was pushed down into the chair and leather straps restrained his arms, legs chest and head. He couldn't look around or move.  
  
He heard people enter the room, they were speaking Russian and wearing white lab coats from what he could see from the corner of his eye. His breaths came out quick and short, taking a guess he assumed he was an unwilling guinea pig in a less than ethical medical experiment. "Hey, no. I did not sign up for this, let me go!" He thrashed in the chair trying his hardest to get free, the leather straps didn't even budge. The men and women in lab coats were either ignoring him or didn't understand him, he wasn't too sure which.  
  
He could see one of the men had come over and stood by him, he seemed to be readying and IV line and that was a huge nope, this was not on his bucket list or any other type of list he had. The stand was out of view and with his head strapped down Tony couldnt see what they were going to inject him with.  
  
He felt a needle slip under his skin.  
  
Tony gasped in pain as icy fire entered his veins. He was burning from the inside out. Then he was so cold it was like his blood was frozen in his veins. He writhed in agony.  
  
He felt as if he was being torn apart and stitched back together, the pain was overwhelming and he wondered if this would be how he finally died.  
  
He blacked out from the pain.  
  
  
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When he came back to consciousness he was still in blinding pain.  
  
He was being dragged once again but he didn't know where to. The guards weren't very gentle when handling him and every sudden movement tore a pained cry from him, they seemed to enjoy his suffering.  
  
Tony heard a door opening before he was roughly thrown onto a rough concrete floor. He heard footsteps fading away.  
  
Darkness was creeping its way across his vision. Opening his eyes a sliver he could make out a figure looming above him, he couldn't tell who it was. "Shit Tony, what did they do to ya?" The voice was vaguely familiar he just couldn't put a name to it, "You're gonna be alright, okay." Bucky! The voice belonged to Bucky.  
  
"Bucky." He rasped out, god his body was hurting everywhere, he didn't know what to do. The darkness was overwhelming.  
  
"Tony!" He sounded so relived and worried.  
  
"Hey, 'm okay." His tongue felt like lead in his mouth, he could hear Bucky saying something but he sounded so far away. The pain was dulling, he felt so relieved he didn't realise how bad everything was hurting until it stopped. He gave into the darkness. Nothing hurt anymore.  
  
Everything was going to be okay.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't worry I'm not cruel enough to kill Tony off, *looks at pre-written chapters and what I essentially want to happen in this series* now that i think about it it would probably be merciful to kill him off know tbh. *Hides behind couch*
> 
> BUT don't worry you guys will get cute and fluffy and wholesome scenes....... eventually. Also comments are appreciated, it doesnt matter if you think it's too short or whatever I LOVE LOVE LOVE reading them. Thank you to anyone who commented last chapter it made me soooooo happy.
> 
> P.S Bucky was totally a closeted gay living in the 40s and Tony is such a chaotic bisexual. Change my mind, spoiler you can't.
> 
> Until next week.


	3. Give Them A Break

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. But also I'm not but it's like 90% guilt, 5% what have I done, 4% why would I do this and 1% I have a chapter that I'm happy with but aren't happy with because of what I'm putting my characters through. 
> 
> Also I have no beta since I know no-one on this website so all mistakes are mine, if you spot any I'd love it if you could point them out so I can fix them.
> 
> TW: torture

"Hey Tony," There was a voice, "Wake up sweetheart." It was so familiar, it was so close. "Tony, wake up, everyone's here to see you." His eyes snapped open, he was laying down on a something soft. Everything was so bright.  
  
Looking around Tony saw he was surrounded by his... teammates? He was so confused, he was just in the cell with Bucky, wasn't he?  
  
"Tony, are you alright?" That voice, it belonged to Pepper. She was here. Everyone was there; Peter, Strange, Bucky, T'Challa, everyone who was dusted in the snap. He didn't understand.  
  
"What- where am I?"  
  
"Tony, you're home." Pepper looked so concerned.  
  
Tony still didn't understand though, had it all been a dream? Tony was so sure it wasn't, it was so realistic. "Hey Pep-"  
  
There was shouting.  
  
Tony jolted. His family faded away. They drifted out of reach and he was pulled towards the yelling, he felt like he had just been shoved back inside his body. The pain registered not even a second later. He felt like he was on fire, everything felt fuzzy and somehow it felt like everyone was talking in his ear, loudly, whilst simultaneously being a 100 miles away. The voices merged together and he couldn't tell who was saying what.  
  
There was the sound of a door slamming shut. Then, silence.  
  
Tony didn't know what was happening anymore. Pain was all he could think of, the twitch of a muscle made Tony feel like he was being torn apart. Muscles he never knew existed felt sore, like he'd been working out non-stop for a week. He felt like his consciousness had been shoved into a body far too big to be his.  
  
The pain became too much and Tony passed out.  
  
  
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When he came too it was to a panicked Bucky whispering that everything would be fine over and over. He didn't understand why Bucky was so alarmed, he tried to ask but all that came out was a groan.  
  
"Tony, you're alright." The relief was clear in his voice, but Tony didn't understand why he was concerned. His throat was scratchy and dry, talking felt impossible. "Here, have some water." He felt a cup press against his lips and water slid down his throat, he didn't realise how thirsty he was before he started gulping down water.  
  
His muscles still ached but the pain didn't threaten to overwhelm him and cause him to pass out again. "Why do you sound so panicked?" His voice came out hoarse from disuse.  
  
Bucky huffed out a laugh, "I dunno, might have somethin' to do with the fact that you've been sleeping the past couple of days. Ya haven't woken up at all, not even a minute, I think that warrants me panicking." Tony could hear the worry in his voice through the joking tone.  
  
Days? It didn't feel like days. Tony didn't know what to make of that piece of information, whatever they had done to him had rendered him unconscious for far longer than he was comfortable with. Who knew what had happened whilst he was passed out. And Bucky, poor Bucky, not knowing whether or not Tony would be fine. They had probably tortured him as well whilst he had been passed out, and Tony wasn't even awake to comfort him, he felt horrible.  
  
"Are you okay? You're not hurt too badly right?" Tony asked. Bucky looked at him like he was crazy, he didn't know why. ~~Okay maybe he did but like hell he was going to admit it.~~  
  
Tony got his answer when Bucky ranted about how Tony was the one who was passed out for several days, and how he was the one who hadn't eaten or drank anything since.  
  
They argued for a bit about who was apparently in a worse condition (since that's a perfectly normal thing to do in their situation) before agreeing it was a tie, after all they were both in a pretty shit situation.

It was such a weird thing to argue about.  
  
Despite everything it was nice having somebody care about him, not what he could do, and vice versa.  
  
Tony thought about his dream - hallucination? It had felt so real, he hadn't understood what had been happening. For a minute he had thought all of this had been a bad dream, he had thought he was still alive surrounded by his family.  
  
He thought he had been safe.  
  
But then he woke up and everything faded away. The sliver of hope he'd felt had made him feel silly and childish for thinking such a stupid thing.  
  
It was then he realised that Bucky had frozen next to him. He sat stiffly and looked at the door intensely, like if he looked at it hard enough he would be able to look through it.  
  
Tony didn't realise that he had been so lost in thought that he had completely ignored the sound of footsteps approaching. Tony tensed and then winced in pain as his muscles protested the movement.  
  
The footsteps stopped outside their cell.  
  
Adrenaline coursed through Tony's veins fueled by his fear, his body still hadn't fully recovered from whatever they had done to him last time.  
  
The steel door screeched open and just like before several guards entered. They approached Tony. He was panicking, his breaths came faster and his heart was beating wildly. He didn't want to go. He didn't want to find out what they had in store for him, he already knew it was going to hurt. He wanted to struggle, fight, anything, but his body wouldn't listen to him. It had just frozen, shut down.  
  
He felt the guards grab him and lead him somewhere. You would think they would give the guy who passed out for several days from whatever they had done to him a day to recover but **nope**. They were shitty hosts like that. Slowly, Tony's body started to gain control over his body again but, something was wrong. His body felt... foreign and wrong. His feet slightly scraped along the floor where they hadn't before. If Tony concentrated, behind the present ache of his muscles, the constant pain that had been there since the arc reactor also seemed to have disappeared.  
  
He was confused but didn't have any time to think any further on it. They had stopped outside a different door than last time, this one had a lock on it. That wasn't ominous at all.  
  
The first thing he noticed about the room when he entered it was the metal table bolted down in the middle of the room, more specifically, the leather cuffs attached to said table.  
  
Suddenly there was a flurry of movement and by the time Tony processed what was happening he had already been strapped down. The most he could do was turn his head and wriggle ever so slightly.  
  
Honestly, it was like none of these people had ever heard of consent before.  
  
"You sir, are fascinating. Tell me, the technology our soldiers found you in, who made it? It is advanced beyond even our understanding." A man in a white lab coat was the one doing the talking. He stood there expectantly, waiting for an answer. 'Well, tough luck, they aren't going to get one,' Tony thought. Plus he wasn't that stupid (despite what people liked to believe), he wasn't going to give away information that could sway the outcome of World War Two. Instead he just gave the mad scientist/doctor a blank look which perfectly conveyed the fact that Tony thought he was an idiot. Which he was.  
  
The mad scientist/doctor, who Tony decided to call (Incompetent) Douchebag in his head, let out a sigh and muttered something about 'dumb Americans making his job harder.' And honestly, Tony would be disappointed if he didn't manage to piss off _at least_ one of these guys.  
  
Looking over, Tony almost forgot how to breathe because damn that looked like a sharp knife. A sharp knife he didn't want anywhere near him. Douchebag was saying something but Tony couldn't hear what was it was over the sound of his frantic heartbeat, he did nothing but stare in horror at the knife and the cart filled with various torture devices. Oh fuck no! He had already been through this song and dance before and once was enough for him. But he knew the chance of him actually getting out of his restraints and getting away were basically zero.  
  
Tony closed his eyes and steeled his resolve. He could do this. He heard Douchebag monologuing but it was mostly just background noise for Tony.  
  
Tony startled when he felt his shirt being lifted and the cool metal of the blade against his skin, he held his breath.  
  
He choked back a cry of pain as he felt the blade pressing into his skin and dragging it open. The cut wasn't deep but it still hurt like a bitch. Douchebag looked way too happy, the bastard. Tony's skin tingled where it had been sliced open and looking down he stared in horror as it stitched itself back together.  
  
Incompetent Douchebag let out a giggle, that's right a fucking _giggle_ , of joy. "Ah yes, we didn't know if this would work. This is fantast-"  
  
"What the fuck did you do to me?" Tony whispered horrified.  
  
"Nothing you need to worry about." Douchebag replied calmly  
  
'Nothing he needed to worry about, like hell- FUCK!' Tony's train of thought cut off abruptly after the sadistic bastard stabbed him again. He let out a pained cry and refused to look down at his skin that he was sure was stitching itself back together again if the gleeful look on Douchebag's face was anything to go by. The tingling lasted quite a bit longer since the cut was a lot deeper.  
  
It continued like that for a while, he was now convinced the man was a sadist, he would be stabbed or sliced like a damn lab rat and Douchebag watched happily as Tony's skin stitched itself back together.  
  
After a while Tony saw that the doctor had put the knife down but his relief was short lived when he saw that the knife had been exchanged for a lighter. Tony felt like crying but he wasn't going to let them see him break.  
  
The flame was held to his skin for different intervals of time to see how long it would take for different degrees of burns to heal. Tony screamed in pain as his skin blistered and blackened, but he didn't cry, he wouldn't. The doctor just looked on in fascination and wrote down the results. It took a while for some of the more severe burns to heal. He was there for longer than a day but after that Tony lost count.

For burns it took anywhere between 1 minute - 24 hours to heal depending on the severity. Douchebag seemed to enjoy this form of torture a bit too much for Tony's liking.  
  
Next was prying fingernails and toenails out of his hands and feet. That hurt like a bitch as well. When he screamed this time he had a cloth shoved into his mouth as a makeshift gag because apparently Douchebag couldn't concentrate with him 'screaming like a banshee.'  
  
'Well sorry my screams of pain from you torturing me are so distracting' Tony though spitefully.  
  
The doctor carried on as if nothing had happened.  
  
Tony was too lost to the pain to even try and figure out how long he had been there, it felt like days.  
  
He was pretty sure he blacked out once or twice, he wasn't too sure. There were various other forms of torture happening and Tony was surprised he hadn't died. His pain addled brain was also incapable of coming up with a reason for why he was healing so fast. He was sure when he wasn't screaming in agony he'd come up with an answer.  
  
Incompetent Douchbag turned out to be quite competent and very creative with torture, which was just Tony's luck.  
  
After some time had passed and the expected pain didn't come Tony opened his eyes, which he didn't remember closing, and looked around. Douchebag was in a corner excitedly reading whatever he had written down on the clipboard whilst torturing Tony and a couple of bored looking guards stood scattered throughout the room. They hadn't looked so bored when Tony was screaming.  
  
He tried to eavesdrop on Douchebag to see if he had anything interesting to say but his attention kept waning as his injuries healed, the sensation if his skin tingling and sticking itself back together was disturbing to say the least, when he could concentrate on Douchebag's muttering the words, 'Super Soldier Serum', 'accelerated healing', and 'transfusion' caught his attention. Tony didn't know what to think, he didn't even know for sure if they were talking about him. He didn't want to think about what it meant if they had given him the serum, but the more he thought about it the more Tony didn't want to believe it.  
  
It would make sense though, why Bucky had come back that day looking on the verge of death but recovering relatively quickly, plus Tony hadn't actually seen what they had given him last time it could have been Bucky's blood, it also explained his own insanely fast healing. It was also just as quick if not quicker than even Rogers. He guessed that the dormant Extremis in his blood was probably had something to do with that. After all if anything could re-activate it why not a version of the Super Soldier Serum.  
  
Man he was getting really tired of being a guinea pig for these people, he guessed it wasn't exactly the safest thing considering the side effect of passing out for days.  
  
Tuning back into Douchebags mutterings he realised he had stopped talking and was back by the table Tony was strapped down to. Douchebag then had one of the bored looking guards shoot him, and proceeded to dig the bullet out with a knife. Tony hoped the bastard died a very painful death.  
  
He was shot all over his body and the bullets were dug out very painfully. He thought he was done for when they shot him in his stomach but nope, apparently dying wasn't as easy as he had thought it would be.  
  
They injected with some weird substances and gave him poisons and all sorts of other things a normal human shouldn't be able to survive. Tony just wanted it all to end, he shouldn't even be here in the first place.  
  
When they finally stopped Tony was on the brink of passing out again but was moving away from that edge the longer he wasn't being stabbed, or poisoned, or shot, or being tortured in general.  
  
He felt the straps being unfastened but was too weak to put up a fight, he felt the guards lift him up and drag him back to his cell. They were speaking in Russian but he had a feeling they were swearing if the angry tone of voice was anything to go about. Who knew what the hell they had to be angry about.  
  
He was once again thrown back into the cell. Bucky came over once the door had been shut and looked at him worryingly. He must have figured out Tony didn't want to talk about it because he helped Tony to his mat and didn't ask about what had happened, they sat in silence for a while before Bucky started talking to fill the silence. It was nice.  
  
All of a sudden the reality of the situation hit Tony, _hard_. He didn't know what had caused it all to come crashing down.  
  
But he was now realising that he was stuck in the past with no way of getting home. He had died but not really. He was no longer fully human, he had no idea what he was. And if this timeline was anything like his own, he was going to be stuck here for a long time if he wasn't killed in the meanwhile.  
  
Tony's world was burning around him and there was nothing he could do about it. His eyes stung with unshed tears and he let out a choked sob. Bucky's voice cut off abruptly. Tony couldn't find it in himself to care if the other man saw him cry. After the first tear broke free the rest followed quickly and before he knew it his cheeks were dripping wet.  
  
His nose felt stuffy and his eyes must have been bloodshot. He felt Bucky wrap his arm around him, clutching his shirt he sobbed into his chest unceasingly.  
  
Bucky held him and muttered soft assurances under his breath.  
  
Tony's tears soaked Bucky's shirt but soon enough he ran out of tears to cry.  
  
Tony felt empty. He didn't know how to feel or even how to react. With his face still pressed against Bucky's chest he muttered out a 'Thank you' and received a non-committal hum in reply.  
  
Soon after the flap at the bottom of the door was opened and a tray of food was slid in. Bucky looked ready to make a stupid suggestion so Tony halved the food and gave Bucky his half before any arguments could be made. The food and water tasted a bit off but who was Tony to judge, he was just happy to have finally gotten something to eat.  
  
Not long after that Tony started to feel lightheaded and sleepy. Looking over at Bucky he saw that he seemed to be having trouble staying awake as well. Laying down on the mat Tony vaguely remembered seeing Bucky unconscious and hearing the door opening before he was pulled under the darkness again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished writing this chapter and just had an awesome idea of how I can transfer Bucky and Tony from the care of Soviets to our (much hated) Hydra friends. Also I'm not too sure how the ratings work so do you guys think I should leave it as it is or change it to mature since there's even more torture coming up
> 
> Also in case you didn't get it they gave him a blood transfusion of Bucky's blood, and yes I know this means basically anyone can be a super Soldier but NOPE I thought ahead, the only reason it works for Tony, so to speak, is because he already has the Extremis in his blood (I'm going with the theory that he used the Extremis in IM3 to help with the surgery) and so it mostly reactivates and mixes with the dormant but stable Extremis. Also I know this is getting kinda long but I feel like I should clear it up so theres no misunderstandings, the Super Soldier Serum only reacts like this if the Extremis is stable in the host (Tony) and on the comics it only occurs for people with a certain genetic makeup which is only like 1% of the population or something like that. SO BASICALLY what I'm saying is it will be ver very VERY hard for them to repeat this experiment and get the same result because 1) Extremis hasn't been invented yet. 2) this particular reaction only occurs if the Extremis is stable (so very low chance) and 3) If you have super Soldier blood on hand to donate. Whew if you have any more questions just ask in the comment and if it doesnt spoil anything I'll answer.
> 
> Also please do comment and feel free to point out any mistakes (they're all my own). And if you have any questions just ask.
> 
> Until next Monday. Bye


	4. Life Sucks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. COMPLETELY forgot it was Monday but still on time phew. Also in case you didn't make sure to read the end note in last chapter since it explains quite a few key details.
> 
> Also I feel like it kinda obvious but there's like a lot of torture, non-consensual body modification and drug use like in pretty much most the chapters and sometimes I might forget to put a warning so thought I should just put this here.

When Tony woke up he didn't understand what had happened. The last thing he remembered was eating the food they had given him, even if it had tasted weird, and sleep had come for him so quickly he hadn't even had time to realise what was happening.  
  
As he came to, Tony groggily tried to lift his arm before realising it was strapped down, as was the rest of his body. It was then the sound of people talking and the pain in his right side finally registered. Looking over he could see them attaching metal plates to what was left of his arm. The metal also seemed to be attached to his sternum and curved over his shoulder but he couldn't tell how far down his back the metal anchored into him. He could feel faint panic but pushed it to the back of his mind, he had bigger problems to deal with at the moment.  
  
The doctors and engineers seemed to have realised he had woken but carried on working without a moment of hesitation. Tony tried to thrash, to get them to stop, but it was no use. He was strapped down tightly. He was helpless and he hated it with every ounce of his being. He wanted nothing more than to not be here anymore.  
  
Tony didn't know what they did but there was a burst of pain, he let out a scream. They faces above him blurred and he welcomed the darkness with open arms.  
  
  
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When he came to again, Tony realised he was no longer strapped down but his body still felt like it was being weighed down by lead.  
  
Shifting his body slowly Tony was surprised by the sudden weight present on his right side. Turning his head, that way took a lot more effort than he thought was needed, but when he caught sight of the metal that had been melded with his body Tony's heart stopped for a beat.  
  
He didn't want to think about the implications of that.  
  
Concentrating on his right arm - did it still count as **his** arm? - Tony tried to move the fingers. He was able to complete the task with relative ease and found that despite what he would have expected from them the metal arm actually felt quite natural. He loathed to admit it but it wasn't like he was going to be telling them that.  
  
Not taking into account that it added quite a bit more weight to his right side it almost felt normal. It probably would have been able to pass of as his real arm if it wasn't for the fact that it was silver and not his natural tan skin colour.  
  
Speaking of which, the sudden gain of weight to his right side was going to take some getting used to, especially since he just got over the _loss_ of weight on that side.  
  
After laying down for awhile Tony started to gain control over his body again, the weight that had seemed to be present was slowly leaving his limbs.  
  
Not long after he realised that Douchebag was in the room with his equally douchey friends. He felt white hot fire run through his veins as he remembered all that was done to him.  
  
He was _so close_. The bastard was leaning ever so slightly over him, leaning against the table Tony was layed down on casually, as if he had nothing to be scared of. As if everything was alright and he had nothing to fear.  
  
Tony saw red.  
  
Before he knew what he was doing Tony had the metal arm wrapped around Douchebags wrist and he _squeezed_.  
  
He heard shouting and panicked voices but Tony didn't care. He felt bone protest under his grip and felt, as well as heard, a sickening crack followed by a screech of pain from the dear old doctor.  
  
He knew that it was a dumb move but rage consumed him. His hand was still wound tightly around the doctors broken wrist but he refused to let go. Tony wanted him to feel even a tenth of the pain and helplessness that he had, whilst he had been strapped down to that god awful table.  
  
There was a surge of electric pain that raced through his body, he felt his muscles lock in place as he screamed. There was a sharp prick in the side of his neck. And then... darkness.  
  
  
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When Tony woke up again he was once again strapped down to a table, that sentence had been said way too many times, but this time instead of rough leather straps holding him down Tony felt cool metal holding him down. _'Yay an upgrade'_ he thought spitefully. He knew it was helpless but couldn't resist wiggling around a little to see if he could get free. As he had predicted there was no give and he was strapped down tight enough that he wouldn't have been able to break the restraints.  
  
He couldn't say he was too surprised to have woken up in the, appropriately named, torture room. Tony knew he shouldn't have done what he did especially since these were the consequences he would be facing, but he couldn't find it in himself to regret the decision that had landed him here.  
  
Douchebag stood off to the side glaring at Tony but he could see the hint of fear and uncertainty in his eyes. Tony looked down at the doctors wrist and felt the tiniest bit smug when he saw that it was in a cast, but he made sure to not seem overly happy. After all he knew what was about to happen, and he didn't want to do anything to provoke them in case they wanted to further test his new limits.  
  
Tony instead focused on his new right arm, for what they had to work with in the 40s Tony was impressed with the prosthetic. He knew he could make something a million times better if he wanted to but he grudgingly admitted that with the limited knowledge of their time the doctors and engineers had made something that could truly be considered advanced, especially since most prosthetics hadn't even come this far in his own timeline.  
  
His arm felt weird and the sudden weight strained his skin and bones. Since no one was doing anything Tony turned his attention to the arm, he was able to move his fingers quite precisely and seemed to be able to register basic textures, temperatures and pressure. He wasn't sure if he would be able to register pain and he hoped he never found out.  
  
Even as he took the arm apart mentally he didn't stop paying any attention to his surroundings so when the door was once again opened he turned his attention there.  
  
Another man walked in, he was wearing a white lab coat and wore glasses, he held an air of confidence, as if he knew he was better than everyone. He walked straight over to Tony and without a single word punched him. All the air was knocked out of Tony's lungs.  
  
Tony decided this one must be called Dickwad.  
  
Dickwad barely gave Tony a second to recover before he rained down a flurry of punches all over his body. This went on awhile before finally stopping.  
  
"Where did you get the technology we found you in?" Dickwad asked sharply. Looks like they were done playing nice and being civil with him. Tony spat at him, he could go burn in hell.  
  
A slap.  
  
And then the question was repeated. Tony told him to fuck off. Another slap. The same question except worded differently. No answer. A punch . On and on it went; question, snarky reply and a punch or slap, rinse and repeat.  
  
Honestly, it's like they couldn't process the fact that they were being told no and so decided to lash out like little children. He knew his armour was basically every scientists wet dream but come on.  
  
Dickwad was talking, probably asking the same question again, but this time he punched Tony before he had time to reply. Tuning back in since the break in routine he realised he was asking a different question this time. "How did you survive the blood transfusion of the Asset's blood? More importantly why did the serum work for you?" It took Tony a moment to realise that the 'Asset' they were talking about was Bucky. They were already trying to take Bucky's identity from him and that really _**pissed Tony off.**_  
  
Honestly they weren't very good at this whole schtick but couldn't seem to get that through their thick skulls.  
  
"His names **Bucky** , Dickwad." Tony spat out.  
  
"It does not matter if he has a name or even if you have one. In the end you will bend to our will and you will be our perfect Assets," Dickwad stated calmly, said it as if it was an obvious fact. "Now answer the question Asset."  
  
Tony felt white hot rage not just at the casual dehumanization of him but of Bucky as well. He thrashed in his restraints wildly and spat out curses with as much venom in his voice as he could muster.  
  
He heard the metal creak under the pressure he was putting them under, there was frantic shouting and something he recognized vaguely as meaning knock him out, a phrase that had been used often during his time here. There was the same electric pain as before but much more intense, he clinged to consciousness but the pain doubled, his body went lax and he was once again pulled under the waves of darkness for what seemed like the millionth time.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
"Goddamit Tones, why do you always have to get yourself into trouble," the voice sounded exasperated but oddly fond. Tony was staring straight ahead so he startled slightly when a hand landed on his shoulder. Turning his head he recognized Rhodey, he stood tall against the blinding whiteness that surrounded them.  
  
By now Tony had grown used to these dreams/hallucinations. He knew they weren't real but that didn't mean they provided any less comfort than his friends had when he was still alive in his own timeline.  
  
"You know what I'm like Rhodey just can't stay out of trouble. Where's the fun in that!"  
  
Rhodey just smiled fondly and gave his friend a pat on the back, just with a little bit more force than necessary.  
  
Suddenly the bright whiteness around them started to warp. It shifted and changed into the familiar surroundings of Tony's farmhouse. His heart twisted in his chest and he felt despair and loss, he lost everything, but right now, in this moment he had Rhodey back.  
  
They walked over to the lake and sat at the edge. For a minute they did nothing but look over the calmness of the water, did nothing but enjoy the sounds of nature. Rhodey broke the silence first, "You know we all miss you right?"  
  
Tony felt his chest tighten and his sight blurred with unshed tears. "I know," he choked out. Because he knew his friends thought he was dead, that his friends hadn't even been born yet in this timeline, that he probably wouldn't get to know them, that he was all alone, and he didn't know how to deal with the enormity of his situation.  
  
For once in his life Tony didn't know what he was going to do. When he was stuck in space he knew he would try to fix the ship to get back home, when he got home he knew he would take time to grieve, and then he knew he would spend each day after that surviving, trying to piece himself back together again for Pepper and then for Morgan.  
  
But now - now he didn't know what to do, his mind was blank, no plan no nothing, and he was scared.  
  
They lapsed into silence again and Tony tried his best to memorise this moment. He looked hard at Rhodey happy, healthy and walking. He committed each laugh line on his face to memory and each ripple in the water. The way everything smelled damp as if it had just rained, the feel of the soft grass under his fingertips and the chirping of birds in the distance. He hoarded every detail.  
  
Tony felt helpless.  
  
Felt as if this was this was the last time he would see Rhodey in a long time, as if this would be the last time Rhodey came to comfort him in his dreams (one day he might've looked back to this moment and realised how right he was.)  
  
This time when Tony felt himself being pulled away from the comfort of his home he didn't fight. He knew it was useless, that none of this was real and that he would wake up sooner or later and resisting did nothing.  
  
"Stay strong."  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
This time when Tony came to he realised something was wrong instantly. He didn't hear Bucky's reassuring mutters or the feel of his fingers running through his scalp. Panicked, Tony sat up as quickly as he could, peering around the dark cell his heart stopped when he realised he was all alone. He didn't know what he would do if they had separated him and Bucky, the man was a calming presence for whenever Tony's mind wandered down dark paths.  
  
His panic eased slightly when he saw that there were still two mats in the room. Tony didn't know what he would have done if they had decided to split him and Bucky up. Bucky's constant reassurances were what had kept him grounded in the beginning and whenever he panicked too badly after that.  
  
He had a vague idea of what was happening to Bucky if his treatment was anything like Tony's and it made him sick to the stomach.  
  
Tony hoped that it wasn't. Bucky didn't deserve such cruelty.  
  
Waking up a bit more Tony realised he felt quite jittery and decided to spend a few minutes pacing the length of their cell. He couldn't walk in a straight line with the metal arm weighing him down. When that did nothing to help his nerves, he looked at the arm again, and now that he wasn't distracted by anything he could tell that it wrapped over his shoulder and dug into his scapula. He looked closely at the arm and stared horrified by the familiar silver plates and even more so by the blood red star on his upper arm. Tony's thoughts started wandering down dark alleys again so he recited equations in his head, when he grew tired of that he thought of upgrades he could make to the armour (he wondered how long it would be until they set off the self-destruct sequence), upgrades to Rhodey's leg braces. How he could have improved-  
  
The cell door slammed open and an unconscious Bucky Barnes was thrown in. Immediately Tony was next to him and he was horrified to see the state that Bucky was in. He now had a silver arm with a red star attached to him as well. It was something distinctive that identified him as the Winter Soldier in the future and Tony had no idea what that meant for him.  
  
Tony didn't think he wanted to know what had happened to Bucky but if he needed someone to talk to Tony would listen. It was the least he could do after everything Bucky had done for him since they had been captured.  
  
Carefully, Tony lifted Bucky's head and layed it gently in his lap and ran his fingers through his hair like the other man had done for him not long ago.  
  
Tony hoped it was soothing.  
  
The quiet was unnerving him and he didn't know if Bucky would like waking up to total silence, but he didn't know what to talk about. He spent a minute lost in his thoughts, thinking of what to say when he remembered Steve mentioning how excited Bucky had been at the Stark expo Pre-Winter Soldier. So that was what Tony decided to talk about. The future. But vaguely and as if it was a fantasy. It wouldn't do if he went and gave away what would happen in the next 70 odd years.  
  
So Tony talked about JARVIS, FRIDAY and the Bots. He said that this was how he imagined the future to be. He talked about anything and everything that he could.  
  
After a few hours of rambling Tony felt Bucky stir, he paused for a moment but talked even more animatedly and kept combing through this hair, untangling any knots carefully along the way.  
  
When Bucky finally opened his eyes Tony looked down at him and his heart ached at how broken Bucky looked. He wanted to know what had happened and how to make it better. Bucky had been there for Tony since the beginning of this shitshow and now he wanted to be there for Bucky.  
  
"Hey Bucky, what's wrong?" For a second he looked as if he had just been stabbed through the heart, silent tears escaped his eyes and his breaths came out in short puffs. Tony thought he wouldn't get a reply but a moment later it came.  
  
"Stevie's dead."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ta-da. I feel like you guys might wanna kill me but c'mon you guys saw this coming and you know you did.
> 
> Alright next update is Thursday see you guys then. Also please please please please please comment.


	5. Frozen

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhhhhh I have so much school work to do but I've got most of it out of the way. Enough of my whining though go enjoy the chapter.
> 
> Edit: 100 KUDOS 100 KUDOS 100 KUDOS thank you so much woohoo

"Stevie's dead."  
***  
  
  
Tony didn't know how to respond to that. He just stared in shock as his mind tried to process the information he had just been presented with.  
  
He had known this was coming for awhile now, but the news of Steve's 'death' still somehow managed to leave him shocked and speechless. It was then that he realised that Bucky was staring brokenly at the walls, he looked heartbroken. Tony couldn't blame him, his best friend since childhood had just been frozen in the arctic for the next 70 years.  
  
Not that anyone but Tony would know that.  
  
Tony then realised that he had just been staring silently for the past few minutes and scrambled to give a comforting reply, "How do you know?" Tony winced. That hadn't been nearly as comforting as he wanted it to be.  
  
"They showed me a newspaper clipping." Tony didn't have time to say anything else as Bucky carried on talking, "There was a news reeling as well, talkin' 'bout how he- how he crashed the Valkyrie into the arctic."  
  
Tony's heart broke at how lost he sounded. Suddenly, an idea hit Tony. "Hey! Steve, Captain America, whatever I should call him, he's a super soldier right Brooklyn. So maybe he's not dead! Maybe he's still alive! He might've managed to jump out before it crashed or- or-"  
  
"Tony, I appreciate it, really I do but everyone's sayin' he's dead."  
  
"Well it's not like they're going to tell you if they find Steve alive!" Tony snapped. As soon as he finished the sentence he was regretting it, he shouldn't snap at Bucky, he had just lost his best friend after all. He started to apologise but Bucky cut him off with an enthusiastic 'You're right!'  
  
Tony stared at him in shock. His eyes were still glistening with unshed tears but were alight with hope and he looked like he was ready to take on the world. It finally occurred to him that Bucky hadn't even considered it as a possibility. Like the thought that they wanted his spirit broken so that he wouldn't fight didn't even cross his mind. Tony felt a little guilty considering that Steve wouldn't be found for another seven decades, but the way Bucky's eyes lit up at the chance that his friend was still alive made it all worth it.  
  
A little voice in his head pointed out to Tony that Bucky was still laying in his lap and that he was still absentmindedly running his fingers through Bucky's hair. He shoved that piece of information to the back of his mind and decided to ignore it.  
  
They settled into a comfortable silence and Bucky drifted off to sleep. In the wake of silence Tony's mind finally wandered back to his armour. He wondered if they had started tinkering with it yet, he didn't think they had. Mostly because all the recent armours he had made were keyed specifically to his DNA, and the DNA of whoever he had trusted with his technology. If anyone but him and his team and family tried to access the inner workings of the armour the self destruct sequence would be activated and everything would be destroyed completely. Armour, arc reactor and any information stored in it. All of it.  
  
He hoped that wouldn't happen since the armour would really help them with any escape they planned, but he knew that they would mess around with the armour though and any escape plan that they came up with would likely need to be without relying on the assistance of the mark 85.  
  
Almost as if on cue, he heard a distant explosion. He winced. He had a feeling he would be paying another visit to the torture room soon.  
  
Carefully he set Bucky's head down, if they came to take him, he didn't want to wake Bucky up. He'd been on an emotional rollercoaster after everything that had happened and he deserved a moment of peace to himself.  
  
He quietly shuffled away from him and sat tensely facing the steel door. Like he had predicted several angry guards entered the cell and yanked him away. He didn't shout or fight he already knew it would be useless. Whatever they had drugged him with hadn't left his system yet, he still felt incredibly weak and in pain, and he wasn't hopeful enough to try and take down multiple armed guards.  
  
He was dragged down the hallway but this time they walked straight past the torture room, Tony didn't understand what was going on. After several minutes they arrived outside a different door, this one made out of thick wood. He was hauled inside and the first thing he noticed was the fact that there wasn't the usual steel table or even the medical chair from the first time he was taken out of the cell, the room was almost bare.  
  
Looking around Tony noticed that there were a lot of chains, clearly meant to hold a person. They seemed thick and heavy, some hung from the ceiling and others were attached to the floor and walls.  
  
Tony was dragged over to the middle of the room and his hands were cuffed above him and his feet to the chains attached to the floor. The chains were pulled tight until his arms strained in their sockets and he was forced to stand on his tiptoes.  
  
Two of the guards stood stone-faced on either side of the door while the others spread out around the room. They stood muttering to each other in Russian, Tony could make out basic words and phrases as well as phrases they had used often and could tell that they had called him a 'dick' and 'fucking American' several times.  
  
For almost half an hour nothing happened. Tony simply hung there limply after he could no longer support his own weight, his arms felt numb and tired but his body ached as he was forced to carry all his weight. Not long after he noticed footsteps entering the room but he was too weak to lift his head and see who it was. Whoever it was circled around Tony before coming to a stop in front of him.  
  
He saw black, polished shoes enter his line of sight. Without warning, a hand fisted in his hair and yanked upwards forcing him to look at the man. When Tony saw that it was Dickwad he was tempted to spit in the mans face but decided against it, he had great impulse control.  
  
Looking closely Tony saw the anger and frustration on his face and Tony felt his lips lift into a satisfied smile. Dickwad's nostrils flared with anger and before he knew what was happening Tony's head whipped to the side, a dull throb in his cheek told him exactly what had happened. He refused to stop smirking though.  
  
"What's wrong? You seem angry," Tony asked with faux innocence. Okay, _maybe_ his impulse control wasn't that great, he was only human after all. A pissed off human with the source of most of his anger not even a foot away from him.  
  
"Oh I'm very angry, you see the technology we found you in, it exploded. It killed quite a few people you know and now - now you are going to give me some answers."  
  
"Or what?" Tony taunted. He knew exactly what was going to happen but like hell he was going to pass up on the chance to piss off a nazi.  
  
"Why don't I show you."  
  
Tony looked in confusion as Dickwad took a few steps back, he was pretty sure you needed to be in close proximity of a person in order to torture them. Dickwad picked up a small rectangular clicker it only seemed to have a single button, but his face lit up like a Christmas tree at Tony's confusion and his unease grew. The button was pressed once but all of a sudden the same electric pain as before started up, his nerves felt like they had been set on fire. He could tell that the pain was originating from the metal arm but it coursed through his entire body.  
  
Tony convulsed violently in the chains before it stopped just as abruptly as it had started. "Painful isn't it, the arm is connected directly to your nerves and we planted a little disc within the arm and whenever I press this button here-" he waves the little remote under Tony's nose tauntingly, "-it delivers a continuous electric current. Now do you want to tell me what I want to know, or do you still need convincing?" Tony wanted to headbutt him but Dickwad was, unfortunately, standing a bit too far away so Tony settled with a simple 'Go to hell'.  
  
The pain started up all over again but it was worth it to see how angry he had made the man. Dickwad seemed quite content with just watching Tony suffer but he could see how pissed off the man was becoming whenever Tony refused to answer his questions. Again and again he was asked to answer their questions and every time Tony would tell them to piss off, even when the current was increased and the pain made Tony scream he still refused to tell them anything.  
  
By the time Dickwad lost his patience Tony's voice was hoarse and his muscles ached with how much they had tensed. This time when he told Tony to answer the question Tony didn't hesitate to spit on him, it probably sent Dickwad over the edge and his patience snapped. The voltage was increased to the max but this time the pain didn't stop, it carried on and on and on.  
  
The amount of stress Tony's body had been put under would have been enough to kill a normal human, but when it finally became too much for him to handle, Tony simply passed out, his body already trying to heal itself.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
When Tony finally woke up again he was once again strapped down but this time only his arms and legs were restrained. With how weak he felt he knew that this was all they needed to stop him from escaping.  
  
It took another minute or so for Tony's brain to finally register what was happening. In addition to being tied down, once again, there were multiple needles piercing his skin pumping various coloured liquids into his body.  
  
He guessed that one of them was what was keeping him drugged and weak.  
  
Turning his head to look around he noticed that he was in a room resembling a lab. He noticed that someone else was also in the room with him. That someone else turned out to be Bucky. It also seemed that he was receiving a similar treatment to Tony.  
  
He had no idea what was going on. His drug-addled brain not capable of coming up with a reason for what was happening. For awhile Tony simply stared blankly at the ceiling. A groan broke Tony out of his thoughtless staring, it seemed like Bucky was finally waking up. "Hey Buckaroo, good to see you finally woke up from your nap."  
  
Bucky looked startled, he clearly hadn't realised that Tony was there. "Uh, hey Tony. Hey what- where are we?"  
  
"Not. A. Clue. Dunno where we are, or why we're here specifically, to be honest I don't know a lot of things right now since they've pumped me full of so many drugs."  
  
Before Bucky had a chance to reply foreign voices entered their hearing range and eventually, the room. Multiple scientists were speaking to each other seemingly deep in discussion about whatever it was they were talking about. Four grunts trailed behind them.  
  
One of the men came over to Tony and messed around with one of the bags that held a clear liquid, not even a minute later Tony felt like he had been pushed to the back of his mind, he felt like he was drunk.  
  
Two of the grunts then came over and released the restraints holding him down, Tony realised now was a good time to fight back but his body wouldn't respond to him. He thought about kicking and punching or even flailing. And that was all that happened, he thought about doing it but his body refused to respond except for the tiniest twitch of his fingers and toes.  
  
He was carried over to a tall tube like thing, it looked familiar but Tony didn't know why. It was made entirely out of metal except for a small rectangular glass panel at around eye level. As he was being carried over he caught sight of the same being done to Bucky, it was clear that they had drugged him as well, he hung limply between the other two grunts as he was carried over to a similar metal tube.  
  
Tony didn't have anymore time to think about it though because soon enough he was being shoved into the tube and the door was shut and locked with an unmistakable final click.  
  
Almost instantly the temperature dropped. For a short while it didn't affect him, likely because of the Super Soldier Serum and Extremis, but the temperature continued to drop rapidly and Tony felt his body start to freeze, and bit by bit Tony lost the ability to move. Tony felt the smallest flicker of panic but calmed himself down before he could work himself up.  
  
Next he felt the cold settle inside his body. His breaths came slower and slower until they stopped altogether, Tony felt himself go into overdrive, he couldn't breathe he couldn'tbreathe hecouldn'tbreathe hecouldn'tbreathehecouldn'tbreathehecouldn'tbreathe. Tony felt like he was drowning all over again except this time there wasn't any air for him to hold his breath for.  
  
Slowly, Tony realised that even though he couldn't breathe he was still somehow alive. He wasn't dead somehow. Focusing on his heartbeat, Tony felt - more than heard - it still beating strong although much slower than normal. His heart seemed to beat only a few times a minute.  
  
Soon after his vision went dark, he didn't know if it was because he had closed his eyes without realising or if it was a result of the freezing temperatures. Tony's thoughts also slowed down significantly. He felt sluggish and like they had just pumped him full of anaesthetic. Even as he struggled to figure out exactly what was happening, he could still somehow hear what was happening outside the tube he had been put into. Time seemed to blur together and even without trying, the harsh Russian that was being spoken started to blend together and Tony started to understand it.  
  
The conversations they held were quite mundane and he lost interest in them quickly enough.  
  
Tony didn't know what he had been thinking about, or rather not thinking about, when he suddenly realised where exactly he had been put. Cryo. They had put him and Bucky into cryo, frozen them in time unable to do anything as the world passed them by.  
  
In his anger Tony didn't realise the long stretch of quiet, normally there was a constant thrum of conversation going on in the background, the longest period of silence being only a few minutes long.  
  
Eventually, when he noticed the eerie silence for Tony and Bucky it had been like this for several hours.  
  
In reality outside of cryostasis, it had been a few years.  
  
Tony felt uneasy at the unnatural silence, the fact that he was quite literally trapped in his own mind unable to move or fidget only served to further agitate him.  
  
When the voices started up Tony felt the tiniest bit of relief, momentarily forgetting where they were before he remembered and the feeling of dread crept up on him once again. Even if he didn't particularly like the people he had dealt with so far, he didn't want to think about what would happen if him and Bucky were forgotten about. They could have been here for hours or years and Tony didn't know which option seemed worse.  
  
Tony strained to listen to the conversation happening, even though it was muffled he could still hear clearly enough to realise that the people were no longer speaking just Russian but also German.  
  
He understood German (as well as several other languages), it came with being the former CEO of a international fortune 500 company.  
  
They carried on speaking for some time before their voices dropped and they became distant hums in the background, loud enough to know that they're there but not loud enough to figure out where it's coming from - or in Tony's case - what they were saying.  
  
Tony heard the faint hum of machinery coming to life but couldn't figure out what they were doing. Not long after Tony got his answer, the temperature around him started to rise rapidly and before he knew it the door was being opened and he was being hauled out.  
  
Tony wasn't able to put up a fight because even though he was no longer encased in a chamber of ice, his joints and muscles were still very much frozen. The rapid change in temperature also left him confused, his body unable to decide if it was cold or hot. One moment Tony felt like he was sweating gallons and then the next his teeth would chatter uncontrollably but his joints remained stiff and unable to move. His heart rate also didn't seem to speed up at all, it kept the same slow pace it had whilst he was in cryostasis.  
  
His arms were yanked behind him the second he stepped foot outside the cryo tube and his hands cuffed together. He was led down winding corridors and when Tony's eyelids didn't feel iced together, he finally opened them and saw only a brief glimpse of the corridor before he was unceremoniously shoved inside. He was pushed to his knees with his back to the door, it was then that he realised that Bucky was already here since they were sat side by side.  
  
He looked far more alert than Tony felt and the only thing that seemed to be stopping him from lashing out were the guns pointed at his head and chest.  
  
Slowly, Tony started to regain control of his limbs, the metal arm attached to him didn't really do a good job of trapping heat and seemed perfectly fine remaining cold but there was little Tony could do about that at this moment in time. If he was suffering from frostbite or hypothermia or any other issues because of the cold he didn't know about them as his body was dealing with them rapidly.  
  
As soon as Tony regained his finer motor skills he too had several guns pointed at him, he could just feel how welcome he was here. But honestly what was he going to do with his hands cuffed behind his back.  
  
Finally not at risk of feeling like he would break a bone if he moved too quickly Tony took the opportunity to look around and he followed Bucky's gaze to the centre of the room and Tony felt his heart stop.  
  
Because stood there in the centre of the room was a chair, but not just any chair, it was the same chair that they used - or rather would use, time travel was so confusing for which verb tense to use - to erase Bucky's memories.  
  
The black leather stood out menacingly against the stark grey walls, but even more ominous were the steel restraints fixed onto the chair. There were almost a dozen, clearly meant to hold down a person of incredible strength. And the obisidian headpiece crackled with electricity.  
  
Tony had been brought here along with Bucky. Bucky who would eventually lose all his memories and become The Winter Soldier, The Fist Of Hydra.  
  
Tony really wished he would have died at any point before now, because this was a fate so horrible he wouldn't wish it upon his worst enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IMPORTANT : My schools starting in 2 weeks so updates might come slower if I'm not able to post when i regularly do I'll be sure to tell you guys in the end note of the previous chapter, I'll try my best to get out at least one update a week if I'm not able to do the normal schedule of every Mknday and every other Thursday.


	6. The Chair

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 2020 SUCKS 
> 
> R.I.P Chadwick Boseman rest in power king

Tony froze in horror as Bucky was dragged over to the chair. He put on a brave face and walked with confidence, after all he didn't have the knowledge that Tony did.  
  
Tony wasn't about to let any of this happen smoothly if he had anything to do about it. He wasn't delusional enough to believe that he could stop them all together but he could sure as hell make everything a lot harder. He was pretty sure that they wouldn't kill him.  
  
With that in mind Tony threw himself at a guard catching him by surprise and knocking him off his feet. It took a second for everyone to realise what was happening, but they acted quickly.  
  
Bucky wasn't given a chance to join in on the chaos since he was swiftly strapped into the chair. Tony on the other hand, wasn't about to give up so easily but there also wasn't much he could do with his hands still tied behind his back. Still on his knees Tony wasn't able to catch himself when he was tackled by one of the guards, he was pushed onto his stomach and the man sat on his back making breathing a little difficult.  
  
Tony's hands were pinned and when the guard finally got off his back he was yanked back onto his knees by his hair - which really fucking hurt. This time the guards were paying much more attention to him and there were hands on his shoulders stopping him from getting up or doing anything really.  
  
"Now that _that_ has been dealt with. We can move forward with the experiment." The man closest to the control panels of the chair said, he spoke with a german accent. He clearly had no qualms with torture or human experimentation, not that the last scientists were saints, but he seemed like a man who wasn't scared to get his own hands dirty.  
  
"Oh fuck you, you bastard. We're not lab rats dumb shit." Tony spat out angrily, he sent a condescending smirk the scientists way whilst still managing to infuse all the hate he felt into it.  
  
"Shut up," he snapped.  
  
"No."  
  
"I said-"  
  
"No."  
  
The scientist screeched in frustration and turned away. Two of the guards moved towards Bucky and whilst one pushed on his chest the other secured a strap against it, the same was done with his neck. "We will start with a low voltage and work our way up. Also don't forget to give him a mouthguard." One of the guards grabbed a mouthguard and when Bucky refused to open his mouth the other forced it open and shoved it in.  
  
A few switches and buttons were flicked and pressed. Electricity sparked from the black curved clamps that were clearly made to fit around a head. They were lowered and Tony could see the rapid rise and fall of Bucky's chest, they made contact with his face and then... screaming. Heart-wrenching screams of pain filled the air and Tony felt so useless.  
  
"LEAVE HIM ALONE YOU BASTARDS!" Tony screamed, he swore and shouted and told them to stop but he couldn't do anything as he was held in place and forced to watch Bucky writhe in pain. His thrashing was useless and the guard did nothing except tighten his hold. Bucky gripped the chair so hard his knuckles turned white and the armrest creaked under the pressure from his metal arm.  
  
Around five minutes later the machine was turned off and Bucky's screams ceased to fill the air and Tony finally felt like he could breathe again. The mouthguard was taken out. "Who are you?" The scientist asked.  
  
"James Buchanan Barnes." It was said with confidence. Basically daring them to try and make him think otherwise.  
  
There was a sharp crack that filled the air, Bucky's head was whipped to the side and the scientists hand was still raised in the air. Tony wanted to cut that damn hand off. "You do not have a name, you are an Asset. A weapon. Weapons do not have names." Scratch that, Tony would much rather cut out his tongue, "Now, what is your name?"  
  
 _"James Buchanan Barnes,"_ Bucky stressed every syllable.  
  
"You know I'm pretty sure he knows what his name is better than you do, so maybe just listen to the guy when he says his name is James."  
  
"For god sake shut him up won't you, I don't care how just do it. He's getting on my nerves."  
  
"Now that's not a very nice- mphhhhh," Tony was cut off when the guard holding him down lifted one hand and placed it over his mouth, effectively stopping Tony from talking.  
  
"Now that that's dealt with. You are an Asset. Our weapon, The Winter Soldier, and you will do as we say." The entire villainous monologue wasn't very practical for the villain but it sure as hell did help them out when they revealed everything they were going to do, but just hearing Bucky being referred to as 'The Winter Soldier' even in passing sent chills down Tony's spine.  
  
Tony tried to make a smart remark but with the hand still over his mouth all that came out were muffled yells. "Don't worry, you're next Asset." It took Tony a moment to realise that the comment had been directed at him, and unable to piss them off due to his lack of speech, he settled with a glare but the scientist had already turned away from him and was talking again. "Up the voltage slightly but leave it on for the same amount of time. We want to erase memories not fry its brain."  
  
God did this man piss Tony off, small things like: refusing to to say their names and only referring to them as Asset, calling them _it_ instead of him or he, and the way they spoke so casually about what they were planning on doing to them, as if they weren't in the room listening to every word that was being said. The way all these things were done so casually set him on edge.  
  
Once again the head clamps lowered and Bucky's screams filled the room. It hurt Tony to see how much pain he was in, to remember how useless he was right now. Tony couldn't bare to watch any longer and shut his eyes.  
  
With nothing to do except try and tune out the screams it occurred to Tony how much he cared for Bucky. He was sweet and so strong and Tony couldn't stand what they were doing to him.  
  
Tony could feel his strength returning to him but the second he started to tense up getting ready to thrash he had a gun pointed at his head, he wasn't too bothered by it, he was pretty sure they wanted someone to experiment on and wouldn't actually kill him but he was willing to take that risk. What he wasn't willing to risk though, was Bucky's life. He hadn't done anything wrong and so when they lifted a gun and trained it on Bucky, Tony settled down.  
  
After another five minutes they stopped zapping his brain and repeated the same questions as before and they received the same answers as before. They repeated this process several times until the pain became too much and Bucky passed out.  
  
He was released from the restraints and his unconscious body carried out by an armed guard.  
  
Before they had even left the room Tony was being hauled up and his body was placed into the chair. He was very aware of the fact that they were still pointing a gun at Bucky and so Tony didn't fight back. He let himself be restrained without fighting back. The metal clamps were cool against his skin. When his chest and head were pushed back he did so reluctantly, he felt his breath hitch slightly when the metal closed over his chest and neck.  
  
As soon as he had been tied down the guns were lowered and Bucky was taken out of the room, presumably to a cell. He wondered if they would be sharing one again or if they would be separated.  
  
Tony didn't linger on that thought long because a different mouthguard was being shoved into his mouth. The head clamps weren't on but were lowered onto his head, he didn't understand but he realised what was happening a moment later when they rested against his face and they were far too big. They were adjusted slightly so they fit around his head and before he could comprehend what was happening everything came to life and he felt all his nerve endings come alive. Electricity raced through his body but his head - god his head hurt so badly, he felt like it was going to explode. He knew why they were doing this but he wouldn't let them make him forget.  
  
He refused to forget Pepper or Rhodey or Morgan or anybody else. (And for a long time he would remember, but eventually everyone gives in.)  
  
The pain became too much and he felt a scream rip itself out of him, it was a scream of pure _**agony**_. It felt like an eternity had passed before it all stopped.  
  
He felt the head clamps loosen and then lift up. "What is your name?"  
  
The mouthguard was removed and Tony felt his lips tug up into a smirk, "If that's all you wanted to know all you had to do was ask. There wasn't any need to tie me up. The name's Tony by the way." He felt very tempted to tack a sweetheart in there somewhere but refrained from doing so, after all the 40s or whatever time period they were in at the moment was probably still very homophobic and he couldn't be bothered to deal with the guy if he turned out to be a homophobe.  
  
Tony could see the scientists face turn red with anger and had to stifle a laugh. "Everything you heard me say before applies to you too. You belong to Hydra now, Asset." Before Tony could grace them with one of his witty replies the mouthguard was shoved back in. "Turn up the voltage again, same as before."  
  
Tony saw the electricity crackle and could see it inching closer to him, watching it close in on him and knowing there was nothing he could do was so much worse than when it started all of a sudden last time.  
  
When the head clamps made contact Tony felt the same kind of all-consuming pain, except somehow it was even more intense than last time. Again Tony screamed, his throat felt scratchy but all Tony could do was scream. Tony clenched his fingers tightly and pushed up against the chair, he was trying to get some leverage so he could rip himself out of it, but he was tied down tightly and could barely move.  
  
When the pain finally stopped Tony felt like sobbing in relief but he knew what was coming next, "What is your name?"  
  
"Don't tell me you've forgotten already," Tony snarked. Letting out a disappointed sigh Tony carried on, "It's Tony, since you can't remember." The scientist snapped at one of his colleagues to turn the voltage up again.  
  
Just like with Bucky the process happened several times with Tony but he managed to last a little longer than his friend had. When had he started considering Bucky to be his friend?  
  
Tony assumed that the Extremis in his veins were what had kept him awake so much longer. When Tony had been getting the arc reactor removed he had injected himself with a modified and much safer version of Extremis, which he had deactivated as soon as the surgery was over. But now Extremis along with the Super Soldier Serum that he had been given via blood transfusion were what was keeping him alive.  
  
Only Tony was lucky enough to end up in a situation like this, oh joy. But the point was that even with Extremis and the modified Super Soldier Serum, there was only so much that Tony could take before it became too much for even his body to handle.  
  
A normal human would have passed out way before Bucky had, and probably would be dead if they were being hit with the type of voltage that Tony was being subjected to when he blacked out.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
 **Omniscient POV:**  
  
The scientists crowded around the chair once Tony had passed out, they were curious about the man. He had lasted longer than Bucky had which was a surprise since he had a very similar version of the Super Soldier Serum and he had passed out about an hour in.  
  
From the little information they had discovered at the abandoned Soviet base they had discovered they knew that, 1) they had given the prisoners that were being held there a blood transfusion from James Buchanan Barnes when they realised he had a version of the Super Soldier Serum running through his veins, 2) that all the prisoners except one had died, 3) that the prisoner that had survived had traces of an unusual substance in his blood even before being given the serum.  
  
The scientist's didn't know what the substance in his veins was or why it had allowed him to survive when the rest had died. They didn't even know why it was in his blood to begin with. If it was a rare gene or something that had been injected into his body like the serum.  
  
They had also discovered that these two had been candidates for The Winter Soldier Program, but since there had been no means to make them comply they had effectively been frozen until a way could be found to make them complacent. When no way had been found the program had been abandoned and the two men forgotten about. Until Hydra found them.  
  
They had the guards and scientists from the first attempt at the Winter Soldier Project to thank for that. When they had discovered that Hydra hadn't died with their leader and that they were poking around old Soviet bases they sought them out and offered their knowledge and skills, for a price if course.  
  
The Winter Soldier Program seemed interesting enough and could have many positive outcomes for Hydra in the future, which was why their superiors had decided that they would pick up where the Soviets had left off.  
  
Hydra was determined to see The Winter Soldier Program succeed. In the five years the two men had been in stasis, technology had come a long way and Hydra had some of the best scientist's in the world working for them. They would find a way to break the men and make them comply.  
  
One thing that the Hydra scientist's realised was that the men in charge of interrogation before Hydra came were incompetent. They hadn't even been able to find out the second mans identity, which had been a mystery of itself. When they asked for his name he had simply given it, even if it only was the first one, but regardless it brought them no closer to discovering the identity of the man, after all Tony was a common enough name. They also had no way of knowing if he had even given his real name. There was no record of the man, it was like he had never existed.  
  
It was annoying but all the better for them. After all you can't track or identify someone who doesn't exist.  
  
There had been several other notes on the man who said his name was Tony but they had been destroyed by the first scientist's who had occupied the base, and the guards and scientists they had recruited were all low ranking and didn't know what information the files may have contained.  
  
After all if they couldn't replicate the technology of the armour, it would be dangerous if someone else waltzed on in, figured it out and made their own, easily making their lives a living hell. Those notes were irretrievable. Even with what little they knew about the man, there was no doubting their curiosity had been peaked.  
  
Who was he truly? Where did he come from? Why was he at the bottom of the mountain? What had happened to his arm? What had caused that type of damage?  
  
The right side of his body was heavily scarred, the immense power it would have taken to cause that damage let alone survive.  
  
The most important question, the one they found themselves coming back to, the one they really wanted to know the answer to was what was running through his veins? Whatever it was had let him survive even more than Barnes who had the closest thing to a functioning version of the serum. They also had no way of knowing if the serum may have amplified whatever it was in his blood and made him even stronger or if this was all the work of the serum just reacting to a different host.  
  
They were curious but also aware of the fact that the man was not even three feet away from them and a lot stronger than all of them combined.  
  
They ordered for the remaining guards to release the man from the chair and to take him to the same cell they had taken their first prisoner to. They would discuss everything in futher detail when they weren't at risk of a pissed off enhanced waking up at any minute and going ballistic.  
  
The guards grumbled not wanting to do something so trivial and boring but hauled the unconscious man between them down a winding corridor to the cell with Bucky in it. When they got to the cell they wasted no time and threw Tony in.  
  
James wasn't fully back to his senses, so it took a moment to realise who had been thrown in. Looking at Tony's pained face Bucky let out a heavy sigh and placed Tony's head in his lap and soothingly ran his fingers through the short hair.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope everyones doing okay and that you enjoyed the chapter. Until next Monday.


	7. Forgetting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyyyyyyyy its Monday!!!! That means you guys get an update. My life sucks and I'm bored but I hope you guys enjoy the chapter.

**Omniscient POV:**  
  
It went on like this for a long time. It had been almost two months since they had been taken out of cryostasis and they were quickly losing hope of a rescue and none of their escape plans seemed feasible.  
  
They were kept drugged almost constantly, and when either of them was taken out of their cell there were always several guards accompanying them with guns trained on their heads. Sometimes only one of them was taken and sometimes both, but no matter what there was no opening for an escape.  
  
Hydra wasn't taking any chances.  
  
The cell door was locked with a traditional lock and key but also with a steel bolt on the outside, which means even if they were able to pick the lock with the tools they didn't have, they still wouldn't be able to get past the bolt holding the door closed.  
  
They were almost always taken to the chair but neither of them could tell how long they had been gone for. The cell was lit by a dim bulb, the light not reaching the far corners of the room and there were no windows. Not in their cell and apparently not in the rest of the facility. It was impossible to tell how much time had passed when there was no way to distinguish night from day. There wasn't even a calendar or clock.  
  
Bucky and Tony still didn't know how long they had been in cryo, whether it had been days, weeks or even years. It had been driving them crazy.  
  
 **Tony POV:**  
  
Tony had discovered that either the Super Soldier Serum or Extremis or maybe both had given him abilities like; superhuman strength, speed, durability and stamina as well as an incredibly fast healing factor.  
  
During this time, Tony realised that the reactivated Extremis had an interesting reaction with his body or rather the tech in his body. To be completely honest, Tony wasn't 100% sure if his extra abilities were because of the Extremis reacting with the knock-off Super Soldier Serum or with the various technological elements in his body.  
  
For example, he still had subcutaneous implants in his body (which were used to call the mark 42 remotely), he also had leftover Palladium and Vibranium in his body from when the arc reactor was still embedded in his chest.  
  
Tony didn't know if the abilities he knew about were all the abilities he had but honestly, at this point he no longer cared. He had discovered that he had a direct cybernetic interface to all of the tech on base and he discovered that he could discharge electrical currents through his hands, but he was only able to use these abilities when he wasn't drugged halfway to hell - which was most of the time - so they weren't much use.  
  
On top of not being able to use his abilities, Tony didn't want to risk Hydra finding out about them. They didn't need other abilities of his to exploit for whatever reasons.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
When Tony woke up that day he had a bad feeling. His gut was screaming that something was wrong. Over the last week all the normal torture had stopped and everytime him or Bucky were taken out of their cell it was to go to the room with the chair. And everytime they were strapped down in that awful contraption the pain only seemed to get worse.  
  
He had a pretty good understanding of what it did but so far it didn't seem to be working. As far as Tony could tell all of his memories were intact, he could still remember building a circuit board when he was 4, the car engine at 6 and DUM-E when he was on a drunken inventing binge whilst at MIT. He was glad that it wasn't working like it was supposed to but it also confused Tony a great deal.  
  
But the fight or flight instincts that were rearing their head were too loud to ignore, which was why when the guards came to get Bucky after they had eaten Tony put up more of a fight than usual, he still lost. The failure only seemed to make the dread that Tony was feeling stronger. He didn't know what it was about today but something told Tony if they didn't do something soon they would regret it for a long time to come, but he didn't know what to do.  
  
When Tony heard footsteps approaching the cell he sat up straight and strained his ears to hear what was going on, even with his enhanced hearing it was difficult to make out conversations taking place on the other side of the door.  
  
Tony didn't know what to think when the door was opened but there was no Bucky being brought back in. He felt panic overwhelm him, what if he was dead?  
  
The guards were stoic and silent as always. Tony knew it was useless to ask them what had happened to Bucky but he still needed to try, as expected he didn't get any reply or even an acknowledgement of his question. They carried on walking towards the room with the chair and Tony's unease grew.  
  
When they finally arrived the room was a filled with movement, the scientists seemed excited and that wasn't a good sign.  
  
There was also no sign of Bucky and that set Tony on edge.  
  
Bucky hadn't been returned to their cell and he wasn't here either and the scientists seemed very happy, Tony didn't know what to think of this. After all Bucky could still be very much alive and if all this was a charade meant to make Tony worried or anxious - they were succeeding.  
  
Tony was manhandled into the chair as usual but this time the guards had a much stronger grip on him as if they didn't want him to escape, it wasn't as if he could, he would probably be shot down before he could make it 10 steps to the door.  
  
The mouthguard was roughly shoved into his mouth and the restraints fastened tightly.  
  
"Raise the voltage by 30%," the accented voice of the scientist reached Tony's ears but he didn't have any time to process that information, his attention was on the head clamps. They sparked menacingly and the crackling seemed louder than usual.  
  
As they lowered Tony felt the urge to flee. He twisted and thrashed violently in the seat but like always there was no give and his body hardly moved an inch.  
  
When the clamps made contact with his head searing pain blinded him. The pain was worse than anything he had ever experienced. Tony screamed. He could feel himself convulsng, his heart was racing and his head ached.  
  
He didn't want to forget. He couldn't forget his family, his friends. Rhodey. Pepper. Morgan. Steve. Bucky. Natasha. Clint. Thor. Bruce.  
  
He couldn't forget them. He couldn't. He **wouldn't**.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Steve.  
Bucky.  
Natasha.  
Clint.  
Thor.  
Bruce.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Steve.  
Bucky.  
Natasha.  
Clint.  
Thor.  
Bruce.  
  
His name was Tony Stark. And he refused to forget his friends.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Steve.  
Bucky.  
Natasha.  
Clint.  
Thor and  
...Bruce?  
  
Yeh Bruce  
  
His name was Tony. Tony Stark.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Steve.  
Bucky.  
Natasha.  
Clint.  
Thor.  
  
He felt like he was forgetting something.  
  
Tony. He was Tony. Tony...? He couldn't remember what his surname was.  
  
The pain intensified and he forgot his train of thought.  
  
His friends. His family. That was it. That was what he was thinking about.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Steve.  
Bucky.  
Natasha.  
Clint.  
  
His list felt shorter.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Steve.  
Bucky.  
Natasha.  
Clint.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Steve.  
Bucky.  
Natasha.  
Clint?  
  
How did he know Clint? How did he know any of them? Why couldn't he remember how they met?  
  
MIT! That's how he knew Rhodey. And Pepper she was... she was his assistant? No. His wife. She was his wife now. And Morgan. His... his daughter. That's it. She was his daughter. But how did he know the rest. Bucky. Was his friend. Yeh. He was. And he was here too. He had to find him.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Bucky.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Morgan.  
Bucky.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Bucky.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Bucky.  
  
Rhodey.  
Pepper.  
Bucky.  
  
Rhodey.  
  
Pepper.  
  
Bucky.  
  
Rhodey.  
  
  
Pepper.  
  
  
Bucky.  
  
  
Rhodey.  
  
  
  
Bucky.  
  
  
  
  
Bucky.  
  
  
  
  
Bucky.  
  
  
  
  
  
Bucky?  
  
Who was Bucky again? He should know him. But... when he tried to picture Bucky. It was blurry. A smudge of tanned skin and dark hair.  
  
...  
  
What was he thinking about?  
  
Who was he?  
  
Tony?  
  
Was that him? The name didn't feel like his. It felt strange to call himself that so it probably wasn't. But then who was Tony?  
  
Who was _he?_  
  
His name was...  
  
Asset?  
  
There was a voice.  
  
"You are an Asset. The Winter Soldier, a weapon to serve Hydra. You and the other Soldier will be the new fists of Hydra."  
  
Hydra. The name sent a shiver of fear down his spine but he didn't know why. And he wasn't a weapon. He was a person. But people had names. And he didn't know his... or he couldn't remember. Why couldn't he remember? Did he ever have a name? Just thinking about it was making his head hurt.  
  
The voice kept repeating those 3 sentences over and over again. But he didn't know what was true or not.  
  
A short while later the pain ceased.  
  
"What are you?" There was that voice again. A person. That was what he was, but he didn't know if he had the strength to say it. His body felt numb yet heavy.  
  
"Wrong. You are a weapon. An Asset of Hydra. You will do as we say without question." No. That wasn't right.  
  
He didn't trust the voice. It was the type of voice that belonged to a person who enjoyed hurting people. And he was, he was hurting him.  
  
There was growl of frustration. "Who are you?" He didn't know if the man wanted an actual answer or if it was rhetorical. But did he ever have a name because no, he didn't know who he was.  
  
He must have said it aloud because even though he couldn't make out what was being said the satisfied tone of voice was unmistakable. Why were they happy that he couldn't remember who he was?  
  
There was murmuring, switches being flicked, the whir of machinery coming to life and then. Pain.  
  
Electrifying pain all over again, but somehow even more intense than last time.  
  
He could feel the last little pieces of him fall into the chasm that had claimed the rest of his memories.  
  
Nothing made sense. The pain and the blankess foreign and wrong but... why?  
  
"You are an Asset. You have no name. You are property of Hydra, our Winter Soldier. A weapon to serve us. You and the other Soldier are the fists of Hydra."  
  
As he felt himself forget everything he ever knew those five sentences repeated themselves over and over until that was all he knew.  
  
The Winter Soldier? A weapon? That was what he heard. That was what he was told he was.  
  
"What are you?" The voice sounded like it was on the cusp of anger, like one wrong word would bring back all the pain. The Soldier didn't want that.  
  
"A weapon." The voice that answered was raspy. That was what he remembered being told.  
  
"That's right," the man sounded pleased. "A weapon, you belong to Hydra. Who do you belong to?"  
  
"Hydra."  
  
"Who are you?"  
  
"Asset. The Winter Soldier."  
  
The man seemed content with the answers provided but when The Asset looked at his eyes he could see the absolute joy he was trying to conceal. He waved his hand and one of the soldiers reached forward and released the metal clamp from around the Asset's neck.  
  
The man in the white lab coat turned away from him and talked to the others, "The project seems to be a success. It has given all the correct answers and seems compliant." The man seemed happy with the lack of response so the Asset opted to stay quiet.  
  
It? It made sense. Weapons weren't people, they were an it. A thing who's only purpose was to serve. And that was what it was. That was all it knew.  
  
"Asset." The voice called out sharply and it looked up at the man but not even a second later its head was whipped to the side. "There are rules you must follow, failure to follow them will result in punishment." The man stated, he expected for the Asset to be listening. "The first thing you need to know is that you are _a thing,_ you have no voice and you do not matter. You are a weapon to be used and if we ever feel you are a liability we won't hesitate to put you down. After all a weapon that doesn't work is useless.  
  
The Asset turned his head towards the man but kept its gaze turned downwards, the pain it had experienced was horrible and it didn't want to go through that again. The Asset didn't dare look the man in the eye.  
  
"Always follow the orders your handler gives you no matter what. You will be assigned a handler later on."  
  
The next ten minutes or so were spent explaining some rules to the Asset. It was told that they must be followed at all times. They were simple enough and basically all said to do what you're told or else.  
  
It had also been made clear that if it reported a malfunction (the way they spoke about the Asset told it that they viewed it as lesser than them) it would only be put in the chair as long as it took to have the Asset functioning again, but if it lied or fought against maintenance it would need to be recalibrated entirely and that would hurt a lot more.  
  
The Asset thought of the pain it had just experienced and decided that it never wanted to feel that kind of agony ever again.  
  
When the rules had been explained and the men had confirmed that the Asset knew them, they informed the Asset that it would be taken to the cell with the other Soldier. The scientist's decided to call the other the Soldier, it would become too confusing if they were both referred to ad the Asset, the Asset was fine with that. Not that its opinion mattered.  
  
The Asset didn't know why it was being kept with the Soldier. But it wasn't its place to question what it was told.  
  
As the metal clamps were released from its body it was escorted by several armed guards to the cell. It felt dizzy and unstable but it didn't want to anger anyone so walked as best as it could.  
  
The Asset didn't know what it or the Soldier would be required to do but the man in the white lab coat had said that it was to be a weapon for Hydra.  
  
It and the other had been called Winter Soldiers, that and the mention of Hydra filled the Asset with fear. But it didn't know why. It shoved the fear down. Weapons weren't meant to feel. Feeling meant maintenance which meant pain.  
  
When they arrived at the cell its gaze instantly landed on the other person - no, Asset. It sat there and stared ahead with blank eyes, something about the lack of expression unsettled the Asset but it paid it no mind.  
  
There were two separate cots on either side of the cell. It walked over to the one that the other was not sat on. Both Winter Soldier's sat in silence, staring at nothing in particular. The Asset wasn't able to clearly see the Soldier with the dim lights not bright enough to light up where they were sat.  
  
The Asset didn't know how long had passed when the door was once again being opened again but when it did neither Soldier moved. Rule 9: Never do anything you haven't been instructed to unless given permission.  
  
A man entered the room with several guards all heavily armed and with their fingers on the trigger. "I, have been assigned to be your handler. It would be in your best interests to listen to me. Now get up and follow me."  
  
Their handler, was a short, stocky man with greying blonde hair and icy blue eyes. He spoke harshly and surely.  
  
They were led to a room, there was a viewing window where a few a scientists stood. There were several steel doors and bars separating them from the space that the scientists stood.  
  
The were bought to middle of the room and told to stand facing each other six feet apart.  
  
"You are going to spar so we have an idea of your capabilities and so that we know what we will need you to work on. The match will be over when one of you manages to incapacitate the other."  
  
The handler stepped back and the scientists seemed to lean forward. "Oh, and give it your all, if either of you give me any reasons to think your holding back you'll end up in the chair."  
  
A whistle was blown signalling the start of their spar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So.... sorry I guess. Please dont kill me. Next update is Thursday dont forget.
> 
> Also you guys should TOTALLY watch the old guard its AWESOME. Also also please please please please comment I love love love reading them.


	8. Life With Hydra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter.
> 
> Also quick question how many of these chapter do you think were written at 3AM
> 
> Also what are hits like of you look at the top part of the book it's got like how many kudos,comment etc my books got but I have no idea what hits are. Can someone tell me because I have no idea.

Before the Asset had time to process what was happening the Soldier was launching towards him. The other Asset moved quickly and its punch was backed by a lot of power.  
  
When the Soldiers fist connected with the Asset's stomach it could feel all the air forcefully leave its body. It doubled over in pain but was knocked over when a fist connected with its face. The Soldier raised a boot and tried to stomp down on the Asset's flesh arm, but instinct kicked in and it managed to roll out of the way seconds before the foot came crashing down.  
  
It jumped to its feet and took a fighting stance. It didn't know who had taught it to him but his body seemed to remember what to do. The next time the Soldier went to punch him in the face the Asset ducked and slid behind the other, he crouched low and swept his feet beneath the Soldiers. He fought on instinct, his body somehow knowing what to do.  
  
The Asset looked down at the Soldier and felt discomfort, his dark hair, tan skin and steel blue-grey eyes had the Asset blinking in confusion. The Soldier seemed familiar to him but he didn't know why.  
  
Unfortunately he didn't have long to think about it as the Soldier was quick to recover, not even a second after his body hit the ground he rolled to the side and jumped back to his feet.  
  
The fight was fast paced and brutal. Neither holding back since doing so would mean ending up in the chair. Even the thought of it made Tony want to hurl.  
  
Wait... Tony?  
  
Tony! That was his name! He was Tony and - and these _fuckers_ had tried to take that from him. His memories were still hazy but they were slowly trickling back to him.  
  
He stumbled back clutching his head as he slowly remembered. He had a feeling that it hadn't been too long since he had been made to forget. But he couldn't fight Bucky, not when they were the only person the other had until they were free from this hell. Plus Bucky was his friend now, and he refused to fight him.  
  
Bucky didn't seem to get that memo though and when Tony had stumbled back he tackled him to the ground. Bucky's eyes were eerily blank. "Bucky," Tony called out to him desperately, hoping that he would remember. "C'mon Brooklyn you have to remember."  
  
Bucky furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, then slowly Tony could see him coming back to himself. His face hardened when he realised what had happened. "I'ma kill them."

Tony was a little unsettled by how calmly Bucky had said that but realised he didn't much care if he was being honest. They deserved what was coming for them.

Unfortunately, Tony had been heard by not only Bucky but by the man who was supposed to be their handler whilst they were puppets on a string and by the guards stationed around the room.  
  
Guns were raised with fingers on the triggers and their _'handler'_ tutted as if he was disappointed, all it did was piss Tony off even more. "Looks like you both need to go back in the chair."  
  
Tony decided that no life would be better than the one he would be made to live under Hydra's command. Bucky must have had similar thoughts because he shot up and threw himself at one of the guards and pummeled him. By the time Tony realised what was happening Bucky was already onto the next guard.  
  
Tony quickly tackled one of the guards closest to him when his body finally caught up with his brain. Tony straddled his waist and punched him until his eyes rolled back, he had no idea if the guard was unconscious or dead but didn't really care, he stole the guards gun, he wasn't the best marksman but he didn't want to be unarmed whilst everyone else had a gun.  
  
Tony found it hard to block his returning memories and focus on fighting, but before he could move onto the next guard pain overcame him.  
  
Electrifying pain raced through his body and his muscles locked in place. Tony felt himself crumple to the floor, out of the corner if his eye he could see Bucky convulsing in pain as well.  
  
Tony could make out the figure of their so called handler with his hands on some type of small rectangular remotes, one for him and one for Bucky no doubt. Tony had been blocking his memories whilst fighting so that they wouldn't overwhelm him but by doing so he had completely forgotten about the small disc that the Soviets had planted in his and Bucky's arms.  
  
The pain didn't stop and the last thing Tony saw before passing out was Bucky's unconscious form still twitching in pain.

\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

**Omniscient POV:**

  
After Tony and Bucky had both passed out there was a flurry of activity. The three guards who had been attacked by them were dead, their bodies were carried away and most likely buried a few miles away from the base.  
  
As for the scientists who had been watching everything play out, they huddled together and eagerly talked about what they had just witnessed. It hadn't been more than a day since both men had been made to forget but already they seemed to remember each other.  
  
They theoriesed about what they could do to stop them from recognising each other, how they could make the brainwashing more effective etc. They were curious about the serum, it's effects and whether or not it could be recreated.  
  
When Bucky had been experimented on in Azzano he had been the only one to have survived their experimentations, but all the research had been lost after Captain America's rescue. The scientist's had also died in the ensuing explosion of the base. There was nothing left for them to work off of and so they had been given the job of trying to recreate a working Super Soldier Serum by their superiors.  
  
The scientist's that had been recruited by Hydra were terrible human beings - but then again isn't anyone who willingly joined a nazi organisation. They had no moral or ethical qualms with experimenting, torturing and brainwashing another human being.  
  
Whilst the scientists continued their discussion, Bucky and Tony were both taken back to the chair and forced to forget once again. It wasn't the first time they would forget and it certainly wasn't the last.  
  
After the 'incident' when the two Winter Soldiers were made to spar both of them had to be wiped many times. While the Soldiers sparred one or the other would inevitably remember and when they both snapped out of it would killed several Hydra agents they would once again be wiped.  
  
After several incidents occurred due to the rules set by Hydra and the Soldiers handler, the rules had been scrapped. Now the only thing the Soldiers had to do was; follow their handlers orders, report any malfunctions and not resist recalibration.  
  
But slowly, after every wipe, it was taking them longer and longer to recognise each other. At first when they had first been successfully wiped it took Tony only a few minutes of looking at Bucky clearly to regain his memories and snap out of it, but after almost 10 months with Hydra they could go days, sometimes weeks and most recently 3 months, before they remembered.  
  
After the very latest wipe (which had happened at the beginning of the 9th month) most of the scientist's were convinced that this time it would stick, though some thought given enough time the serum would repair the damage and they would break free of their conditioning.  
  
All was going well for Hydra, it was taking longer and longer for their Assets to recognise one another and their training was also going well. Both of them were now excellent marksmen, deadly and efficient with a knife, they had been taught how to stay in the shadows and not be seen - how to be ghosts - and were proving to be great at infiltration.  
  
Hydra had forced them to push their bodies to to the extreme and then pushed them even futher, they were capable of things beyond even that of a human in peak condition. Their methods were cruel but provided the results they wanted and so there was nothing for them to change in terms of technique.  
  
So far they had gotten lucky that whenever Tony or Bucky remembered it had either been whilst in their cell or some other secured part of the facility with guards anticipating a fight. But as the time between returning memories grew longer, Hydra grew complacent and overconfident in themselves.  
  
Which is why when a passing guard mentioned Steve Rogers aka Captain America, whilst Tony and Bucky were being returned to their cell, none of them were prepared.  
  
If the guards had paid attention they would have noticed their 'Winter Soldiers' eyebrows furrow, their slowed pace and eventual stop. And the moment realisation flashed across their faces and they lashed out. These were the little changes that could have been noticed if the guards had paid attention.  
  
But they hadn't and so they didn't.  
  
When both Assets remembered what was happening and where exactly they were they ruthlessly took down all the guards in their way.  
  
They hadn't ever left the base and so had no idea how to leave, they wandered the corridors in search of an exit or window to possibly climb out of. Miraculously, one of the men patrolling was a complete coward and didn't hesitate to tell them how to leave, they still killed him. ~~Technically they hadn't ever promised to spare his life in the first place so.~~  
  
When they walked outside and breathed fresh air in who knows how long they stopped and stared for a second.  
  
But just as quickly they snapped out of it and ran. They ran away from the base and into the surrounding forest, which perfectly hid the existence of said base. They ran for hours before slowing to a walk. They were so concentrated on escape they paid their returning memories no mind.  
  
The sun was high in the sky when they first heard it. A faint voice calling out. "Bucky! Buck! Where are you?" Over and over again. The voice was unnervingly familiar to Tony. But to Bucky it only took a total of three seconds before he could place it, that voice belonged to Stevie.  
  
Now Bucky didn't remember Steve dying so he had no reason to think there was anything wrong. He also had no idea how long it had been so to him it made perfect sense, _of course steve was coming to rescue him._ Which is why he didn't hesitate to take off towards it.  
  
Tony didn't remember either, but something about that voice was _**wrong**_. He racked his brain but nothing was coming up. He didn't know why he wanted to run off into the opposite direction but he didn't have a chance to ponder further since Bucky took off towards the voice. Tony wanted to call out to him, tell him to wait, but he had a feeling that Bucky wouldn't stop.  
  
As they neared a clearing, it was clear the voice was coming from there and Bucky didn't waste a second to burst through the tree line with Tony two steps behind him. "Bucky! Buck! Where are you?" There in the middle of the clearing was a clunky tape recorder.  
  
Horror dawned on the two as they realised what it meant. It had been a trap. And they had fallen for it.  
  
Guards surrounded them and they were knocked out. On the way back to the base the guards snickered and laughed at how the 'poor Americans had fallen for their stupid trap.'  
  
After that incident it became a favourite way for Hydra to bring their Assets back to them.  
  
They also liked to have 'rescue drills', this is when they would set off alarms and act as if the base was under attack. There would be a few agents dressed up as rescuers and they would pretend to that they were there to rescue prisoners. Everytime Tony and Bucky went with their 'rescuers', it ended with them back in the chair being told repeatedly how no-one knew they were even still alive.  
  
Eventually whenever the alarm went off they stopped hoping for rescue and just sat there broken. They didn't know if any of the rescue attempts had even been real but refused to go in fear of punishment.  
  
Another favourite of Hydra's was their love for spontaneous training. If the Assets were simply being escorted to their cell or on the way to training the guards enjoyed attacking then without warning until it was all they came to expect. They started to watch their guards closely looking for any sign of aggression and they walked slowly ready to defend themselves at any moment.  
  
By the time 18 months had passed with Tony and Bucky in the care of Hydra they were deadly and scared enough of their masters to not lash out.  
  
One thing though that Hydra had not anticipated was their Soldiers growing closer together. Whenever they weren't sparring they were locked in their cell together, they formed a strong bond built from little words but, actions always did speak louder than words. In every unscheduled training exercise with their guards in the hallway the Asset and the Soldier always had each other's backs.  
  
They took comfort in the fact that they weren't alone, that they had someone who knew the pain they experienced. That knew what it meant to be scared. Who knew what was expected of them and when threatened with a do it or else, knew what the 'or else' part of the threat entailed.  
  
When their handlers ran 'rescue drills' they always reminded each other what to do. They sat in their cell for hours on end, never speaking in fear of being heard and punished but their eyes said everything for them.  
  
The Soldier's steely blue-grey gaze screamed how they would always have each others backs, how they would protect each other, and the Asset's warm brown spoke of hidden affection and how they would always be there for each other. They knew that they shouldn't have these feelings, much less for each other, that they should forget or tell their handler that they needed maintenance. But neither could bring themselves to do it.

*****

 **Tony/Asset POV:**  
  
The Soldier didn't know when or how it happened. They had been sat in their cell but unlike every other time when they had returned and the door was bolted shut, the Soldier didn't return to his cot. Instead when the Asset sat down on his cot the Soldier hesitantly made his way over and sat on the other side.  
  
The Asset didn't know what had overcome him when he decided to shuffle closer to the Soldier, but he didn't seem to mind, he actually moved even closer to the Asset. They sat in the dim light of the bulb with their shoulders and thighs pressed up against the others.  
  
In the silence the Asset lifted his flesh hand and grasped the metal one of the Soldier's. In the darkness he traced a mindless pattern onto the cool metal beneath his fingers, the memory of handling such materials rising to the forefront of his mind before the Asset pushed the memory away like always, forgetting meant there wouldn't be any pain. In the cold and damp of their cell the two soldiers made a silent promise, to always be there for each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Answer to the question at the beginning 90%.  
> I'm not even joking 90% of all the chapter I have written were when I was sleep deprived and falling asleep at 3AM because that apparently is when I do my best work.
> 
> IMPORTANT: I've very nearly finished writing book 1 and I've got a couple ideas how it can proceed, there are 3 options and you guys have like 2 weeks to comment which one you'd prefer okay. This is going to take place after TWS by the way, there will be some obvious differences of course.
> 
> I feel I haven't written this very clearly so let's start again. 
> 
> This book will finish at the beginning of TWS you guys get to decide how it will proceed from there.
> 
> Option 1: Tony and Bucky both escape and I write the book from there.
> 
> Option 2: Only Bucky escapes and Tony is taken back to Hydra.
> 
> Or 
> 
> Option 3: I do both. If you like both options decide which one you like better and that's the one I'll write first and then once I've finished that story arc I can write the other as a separate timeline.
> 
> Hah an AU of my AU. You guys have 2 weeks to decide so dont feel pressured to comment right now. Also comments, please comment they make me soooooo happy.
> 
> This is about the chapter:
> 
> If you're wondering why they don't remember for so long then remember quite quickly when someone like Steve's name is mentioned it's because he was an important part of both their lives and played a major role in them. They're able to associate a gazillion memories with that name it's the same for both of them. I also have a theory that Bucky didn't actually forget. Now don't attack me just yet let me explain. I think with the Serum (and Extremis for tony) that damage done to their brains by the chair would make them forget for a period of time but with the healing rates being so fast they would remember eventually which is why they have to be wiped so often but I'm getting off topic, I believe that instead of just forgetting Bucky's brain might have actively pushed those memories away and locked them away, forgotten them himself to save him from punishment. After all the brain is capable of locking away traumatic memories to protect itself. So it made Bucky forget everything from before Hydra so he wouldn't get hurt by being put in the chair. So that's why he's able to not remember for so long and then remember and it's why I believe he had a hard time getting his memories back.
> 
> CLEARLY I have too much time to think about these types of things. Quarantine is giving me too much time to think about things I never normally would. Ok anyways bye. If yours reading this then congratulations i guess. Have a good day everyone.


	9. Missions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ughhhhhhh I went to school and my GOD my last 2 lessons which were 2 hours long each were ALL in the same room. I didn't move for 3 HOURS (I had lunch after the first hour BUT STILL) 
> 
> Anyways y'all gonna hate me but... I regret nothing.
> 
> Edit: 200 KUDOS. Thank you to everyone who enjoyed my story and has read it.

**Tony/Asset POV:**  
  
The Asset and the Soldier were sat in their cell when their handler and soldiers appeared to collect them. Something seemed different though, but the Asset didn't know what.  
  
The handler carried a brown paper folder in his hand when he hadn't any previous times he came to collect them. And this time instead of going to any rooms they were familiar with, they were corralled into a different corridor and entirely different room.  
  
There were two steel tables in the middle, a few feet away from each other. The Asset and Soldier were made to sit on one. "You have a mission. One of our members has gone rogue and is threatening to publicize our presence. You are to eliminate him at all costs, it doesn't matter how." The handler seemed nervous, after all Hydra was a secret organisation, they couldn't have their existence revealed.  
  
They were given instructions on how to proceed and what to do once the mission was completed.  
  
They were outfitted with tac gear and weapons. Before they left both of them were given masks that covered the entire bottom half of their face upto their eyes, the mask was fastened tightly. The Asset found it was impossible to open or even move the lower half of his face, it felt more like a muzzle than a mask to hide their identities.  
  
Their handler had been very clear on the fact that they weren't to be seen, that the target as well as any witnesses were to be dealt with. They were also to take care of any cameras and communications that might be able to be traced back to them, both the Asset and the Soldier had been taught how to deal with those as well.  
  
The Asset had already known how to do that and much more, the Asset had also know that for some reason he was able to make the technology listen to him. He didn't tell the handler or scientist's though, at the thought of telling them his throat had tightened and his mind screamed NO!  
  
Besides, he was able to please the scientist's without the use of his ability so he saw no reason to tell them.  
  
The next day both soldiers were loaded into a truck and driven to their location. They were once again briefed and told about the various rendezvous points they were to head to once the mission was complete.  
  
They were referred to as the Winter Soldiers during the entire time, the Asset thought it was likely so if someone happened to overhear it wouldn't be clear who they were talking about. Hydra was paranoid like that, but that paranoia was what had let them operate and stay hidden in the shadows for so long.  
  
Once the truck came to a stop they both got off and walked the last mile on foot, they were accompanied by a guard who was there to make sure everything went according to plan.  
  
The Soldier set himself up on a roof a few buildings away from the target, he kept an eye on the window of the apartment they were hiding out in. His finger on the trigger and his eye against the scope of his sniper rifle.  
  
The Asset stood guard in the corridor of their targets apartment, he was there to take care of the target in case he ran and of any witnesses that might have been present.  
  
It was still the early hours of the morning so almost all the residents of the building were sleeping and the security cameras had all been dealt with, so there was no-one around to see the Asset linger in the hallway for almost 3 hours.  
  
It was just as the sun was rising that the Asset heard a nearly inaudible gunshot followed by the thump of a body hitting the ground. After a few moments of silence the Asset made his way to the door of the target.  
  
He carefully picked the lock and made his way inside, the first thing he saw when he entered the apartment was the body sprawled on the floor next to the window. The curtains had been drawn open and that was likely when the Soldier fired. He made his way over to the body and noticed that it was a clean headshot. The target was dead.  
  
But the Asset's mission wasn't over yet, he still had to search the apartment and eliminate any witnesses. As he carefully crept through the rooms it seemed like the only person living here had been the target.  
  
Leaving the bedroom the Asset was about to meet up with the Soldier and their guard before returning to the designated rendezvous point but stopped as he heard a muffled cry. He backtracked and followed the sound of heavy breathing back to the wardrobe, he furrowed his eyebrows in confusion, he had already checked inside it and there was no-one there. He heard the cry again and looked up, there pressed up against the wall on top of the wardrobe was a boy. He must have been in his mid-teens. He looked in horror as he realised he had been discovered and sat frozen.  
  
The Asset didn't want to kill him but he feared punishment more than he pitied the boy. He pulled a gun out of his holster and shot him in the head. It was a quick death.  
  
He double-checked the entire apartment and when he couldn't find any signs of more witnesses and had disabled and wiped any cameras as he left and relocked the door behind him leaving the building silently and without being seen.  
  
When he exited the apartment complex he rejoined with the Soldier and their guard. They were taken to the rendezvous point and their handler quickly joined them.  
  
"Was the mission a success?" The Soldier nodded, "And any witnesses and evidence? Were they taken care of?" Unable to speak because of the ~~muzzle~~ mask the Asset nodded, his answer clear.  
  
"Good. Come, we have to return to base."  
  
When they returned to base they were promptly returned to their cell, after they had been stripped of their weapons and gear.  
  
Sitting on his cot the Asset felt numb, he didn't know how to feel.  
  
The Soldier sat next to him, he didn't speak but his presence was comforting. He enveloped the Assets smalled flesh hand with his bigger one and ran a comforting thumb over his wrist.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
After that first successful mission they were assigned many more. The Winter Soldiers were sent to collect information, kill those who opposed Hydra and many other assignments.  
  
After a few years Hydra began to ran out of things for them to do. They were running the world from the shadows and no-one even knew.  
  
Eventually their handler and the higher ups decided that until they were needed, both the Asset and the Soldier would be put on ice.  
  
As the Soldiers stood up after having being pumped full of various drugs (and he suspected poisons as well if his nausea and lightheadedness had anything to say), they were guided to the cryo chamber, and frozen once again.  
  
Even as the Asset was unable to do anything he was still able to register movement. Sometime after being frozen the Asset was able to tell that his cryo chamber was being moved, he didn't know where or why but even after his cryo chamber was set down he still wasn't unfrozen.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
**1955**  
The first thing the Asset realised was that it was slowly warming up. The chill that surrounded him was slowly leaving.  
  
He was carried out of the cryo chamber and set down on a steel table.  
  
When he awoke his body started healing what it was unable to whilst in cryostasis, looking over the Asset saw that the Soldier had also been awakened.  
  
As his body woke up the Asset realised that the room they awakened in wasn't the same one they were put to sleep in. But the Asset could see their handler stood in the middle of the room, he looked older and greyer and stood hunched over but was undoubtedly their handler.  
  
When they had shaken off the last of the chill their handler gave them their mission, there were multiple but the main objective was to cause conflict within Vietnam and between Vietnam and America.  
  
After a trip to the chair for both of them, to stop them from malfunctioning during their mission, they were flown out discretely 3 days later. The Soldiers succeeded.  
  
Success was expected of them, faliure meant punishment.  
  
On returning to the base, which the Asset and Soldier found out was in America, they were promptly pumped full of drugs and put back on ice.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
The Asset came too once again. "We have a mission for you."  
  
They never took him or the Soldier off ice unless they did. After all the Winter Soldiers were Hydra's greatest weapons it would be stupid not to use them. After a trip to the chair they were pointed in the direction of a journalist who was getting a bit too close for their liking.  
  
She was found dead 13 hours later. And not even an hour later the assassins were put back in cryostasis.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
This time it was a senator who refused to cooperate, his daughter tragically hung herself a few hours later, and with the safety of his wife and young son to think about Hydra had another senator in their pocket.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
This time it was to plant evidence which would further the conflict with America and the Middle East.  
  
It was a success.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
**1963**  
The Winter Soldiers were woken up for a mission, but this one wasn't like the others.  
  
The first thing the Asset noticed is that their handler wasn't there. They had been assigned a new handler, this one was in his mid-to-late 30s with blonde hair and murky green eyes. The last one had died of old age.  
  
This mission was unusual because their handler wanted them to be seen.  
  
It was later explained to the Asset and the Soldier that they had someone who would be taking the fall for them. They didn't understand why they had to be seen only for another to take the fall for them when they could easily disappear without a trace, but ultimately it wasn't their decision and so they did as they were told.  
  
Stood on top a building the Asset was kneeling on the edge sniper rifle in hand and eyes pressed against the scope, he was told he was to assassinate the president, John Fitzgerald Kennedy aka JFK. Meanwhile in a building nearby the Soldier also waited with their decoy. The Soldier was to fatally shoot the president whilst the Asset was to shoot a second and third dummy shot, one at the president and the other at the Texas Governor John Connally. This was to throw the investigators off their scent and make them believe the man who was going to take the fall for them was in fact the shooter.  
  
The name JFK sounded familiar, scratched at his brain and brought up memories that he shoved down without looking at, he would have to tell his handler about this later. Last time he kept this a secret he was put in the chair until he passed out and even then they didn't stop.  
  
The Asset saw the car roll down the street and readied himself, his comm crackled to life and his handler gave him the go ahead. The Asset squeezed the trigger and the first shot went through the president's collarbone, straight after the first shot made contact the second fired by the Soldier rang out and pierced his chest scraping the heart, fatal but made to look sloppy. The Asset squeezed the trigger one more time and shot the governor through the shoulder.  
  
If anyone looked up they wouldn't have seen anything.  
  
The mission had been a success, the president was dead, their scapegoat Oswald had taken the blame and promptly been dealt with. There was confusion and panic, which meant it was easier for Hydra to slip within the ranks of the Senate.  
  
The Asset reported his malfunction and when recalibration had been done Hydra's Winter Soldiers had been put back on ice.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
**1970**  
They were taken out of cryo again. They had a mission, that was the only reason they were ever taken out.  
  
They were to kill a former SHIELD agent who was one step away from finding out about the Hydra infestation in SHIELD.  
  
Agent Peggy Carter founder and former director of SHIELD.  
  
Out of the corner of his eye the Asset saw the Soldier tense up, the name Peggy sounded familiar but didn't bring up any memories. The Asset was thankful for that.  
  
A few hours later the Asset was in position, he was stood outside their targets apartment waiting to hear the gunshot that would alert him to his role. He stood for hours waiting, he could hear movements within the apartment, the sound of the curtains being drawn open but no gunshot. The Asset didn't understand what was happening.  
  
His comm crackled to life and his handler gave him the order to enter the apartment and take out the target. He didn't understand what was happening, normally he would go in after the Soldier had taken the shot or if the target was being careful and the Soldier was unable to get a clear shot, in which case the Asset would go in and kill the target.  
  
But he wasn't going to disobey orders. He crept up to the door and carefully picked the lock. Once he heard the definitive click of the lock unlocking he pushed the door open gun trained in front of him, finger on the trigger.  
  
He came face to face with an empty room.  
  
The Asset didn't understand what had happened, the target should have been here. She had been here. The Asset had heard her.  
  
Making his way through the apartment the Asset grew increasingly frustrated as every room he entered and turned inside out ended up doing empty. The only room left was the bedroom, he would search it, find her and then kill her.  
  
Entering the room he froze as he heard the telltale click of the safety being taken off a gun. He turned slowly and came face to face with a pistol in his face. If the muzzle he was wearing would have let him, he would have clenched his jaw. He felt slight panic but the former SHIELD agent wouldn't have been able to tell since he was wearing goggles. "Who are you and what are you doing here?"  
  
The woman must have been in her late-30s to early-40s. She was prepared to pull the trigger, the gun was aimed straight at his heart, the Asset thought of a plan quickly.  
  
The Asset attacked the woman shifting slightly to the left so that when the gunshot went off it would hit his shoulder. The Asset felt the burn of the bullet ripping through his shoulder but powered on.  
  
When he reached the woman he grabbed the gun with his metal arm and ripped it out of her grip.  
  
He punched her in the stomach and then flipped her onto her back. He rained down punches on her face and throat, he was aware that he had limited time to get away. A neighbour had most likely heard the gunshot and called the police. He reached down into his boot and pulled out a tanto point pocket knife. But before he could slit her throat she kneed him in the back, she struck him across the face with something small and made of metal. A sharp edge got caught on his skin and slashed his right eye, the Asset breathed in sharply, inaudibly.  
  
The target had managed to switch their positions. She sat on him a derringer in hand, one that he hadn't realised she had on her, she pressed it against his forehead, the only part of his face and body not covered by tactical gear.  
  
The Asset wouldn't fail, failure meant punishment. So before she could process what was happening he gripped her wrist and yanked it to the side the bullet just grazing his skin. He stabbed her in the spine cutting through skin, tendons and ligaments. The target let out a pained sound but he paid her no mind. He threw the woman off of him and knelt beside her. "Who are you?" She managed to choke out her eyes filled with fear, after all no-one wanted to die. He didn't answer as he knelt beside her and slit her throat.  
  
Looking around the bedroom he could see various pieces of furniture and whatnot that they had managed to knock over in their scuffle. He noticed that his wounds had started healing but that he had spilt some blood, he knew not to worry though, he cleaned up the little blood he had spilt and knew that the rest of the forensic evidence that the authorities might find would be destroyed and dealt with by a Hydra agent.  
  
The Asset stood up and noticed a newspaper, normally he didn't pay attention to these things but something about the heading seemed wrong.  
  
June 27 1970  
Howard And Maria Stark's Baby Boy Born: Little Arno Stark.  
  
Something about the name Arno Stark and the date seemed wrong. As if there was meant to be something else here, but the Asset didn't have time to linger on those thoughts. He could here the trained footsteps of police officers making their way towards him. He had no way of leaving through the front door unless he wanted to fight his way through what sounded like half a dozen police officers.  
  
Making his way to the main room of the apartment the Asset saw the window and planned his escape.  
  
***  
  
**Omniscient POV:**  
  
By the time the police made it to Agent Carter's apartment there was nothing left to identify the assailant, they were long gone and the only thing left to show that they had ever been there was the evidence of a scuffle in the bedroom and Agent Carter's rapidly cooling corpse.  
  
***  
  
(Same mission)  
**Bucky/Soldier POV:**  
  
When the Soldier was taken out of cryostasis he knew it was because there was a mission they needed him and the Asset to complete, but when he heard the targets name he tensed. He didn't know why but the name Peggy Carter seemed familiar. Something in him screamed at the thought of killing her.  
  
He didn't know why he felt like this but he chose to ignore it, he would complete the mission.  
  
Something about this mission had his handler nervous, he seemed jittery and on edge. He was also accompanied by half a dozen guards when normally they didn't even have one, the Soldier didn't question it though, it wasn't his place.  
  
Kneeling at the edge of the building, his sniper rifle set on the wall trained on one of the windows of the apartment the Soldier waited. His eye was pressed to the scope, finger on the trigger, ready to follow his orders.  
  
When the target did finally appear the Soldier started to squeeze the trigger but stopped. The target, Peggy Carter, was unerringly familiar, the brown eyes and brown hair which fell in loose curls. Her face was familiar to the Soldier and brought up memories he wasn't allowed to remember.  
  
She was there at the entrance to some type of military camp talking to a tall blonde. "Hey! Three cheers for Captain America!" Someone called out. Him. He was the one talking. There was cheering and whooping all around.  
  
Peggy Carter, was someone he knew. Someone important to his past, he thinks. And he doesn't think he can kill her. He pulls his finger away from the trigger and he can hear his handler shouting at him, ordering him to shoot, but he won't.  
  
He turns around determined, he couldn't talk because their handler liked to muzzle them on their missions and his goggles hide the defiance in his eyes.  
  
The guards shifted nervously, they've seen him train and fight, they know he's dangerous. The Soldier doesn't care that he's outnumbered he refuses to kill the woman, something in him refused to let him pull that trigger.  
  
Seeing the woman stirred up memories that he was told to forget, memories that the Soldier would push to the back of his mind and refuse to look at. But the ones he saw refused to be ignored, and he knew that there was something more going on.  
  
"For fucks sake Soldier kill the target! Complete the mission!" His handler was screaming his frustration and when the Soldier still didn't move he contacted the Asset and ordered him to kill the target.  
  
The Soldier felt panic rise when he realised that the target would be eliminated one way or another. He jerked towards his handler, he didn't know what he was going to do but his body moved of its own accord. It's annoying because the Soldier didn't even know what he was going to do but the handler must have thought he was being threatening because the next thing he knew the handler had a familiar remote in his hand and electricity raced through his body and darkness consumed him.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
**Handler's POV:**  
  
Back at the base there was a bustle of activity. The mission had been a success but it very nearly hadn't. The Soldier had somehow managed to recognise the target even after all these years under their control. And their Asset had been injured in the fight, their doctors had said that he would most likely lose sight in his right eye.  
  
They had been told it was a miracle that he hadn't already lost it in whatever accident had caused all the scars which covered the entire right side of his body. His loss of sight made him a liability, it was a weakness that could be exploited and could compromise any mission they might have sent him on. He was a valuable asset that would be a great loss to Hydra but they decided to cut their losses while they could.  
  
Which left them to the question of their Soldier, when they get rid of the Asset they won't be able to afford to lose the Soldier as well. "We need to find a way to have him under our control when we need, so if something like this happens again we have a way to make him listen." The Winter Soldiers handler was nervous, the mission was very nearly a failure, and one of Hydra's most prized weapons had been injured and was going to be put down. It was a huge blow for them.  
  
The scientists were tasked with finding a way to bring the Soldier under control, it needed to be quick and efficient but not something that could be discovered easily. After all they couldn't have their Soldier fighting against them.  
  
The scientist's discussed at length and finally came to a solution. Implanting trigger words into the Soldier's subconscious, they believed if they could make the Soldier associate those words with Hydra, particularly the blankess and need to comply after a wipe, upon hearing those particular words, in a certain language, in a certain order they believed they could temporarily return the Soldier to that state for a period of time.  
  
This meant that if something like today happened they would be able to make the Soldier do as told, hopefully, without question until they could return to base and properly wipe him.  
  
The only thing left to do was see if it worked and if so how effectively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. Yes I did just do that.
> 
> So (insert evil laugh). Hope you guys enjoyed. Make sure to comment and I'll see you guys next Monday byeeeeeee.
> 
> Me: says bye  
> Also me: checks the story every 10 seconds to see if anyone commented.
> 
> https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/751608625288837741/
> 
> https://www.pinterest.co.uk/pin/381328293433927994/
> 
> ^^ what I imagine Tony to look like ^^


	10. Code Words

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys NEED to read cycle through. It's another Winter Soldier tony book and the final chapter was just uploaded and its soooooo good
> 
> IMPORTANT:  
> option 2 won by 5 votes

**Tony/Asset POV:**  
  
The Asset knew something was wrong.  
  
Lately the guards had been even more brutal in their spontaneous sparring sessions in the corridors, they used their guns and knives and piled on the Asset like white on rice.  
  
They never managed to seriously hurt him but the Asset didn't understand why the guards were suddenly so much more aggressive than normal. Ever since the last mission the scientist's were always huddled in a corner and muttering to each other. The Asset never paid attention to what they were saying after all, it was his job to do what his handler told him and nothing else.  
  
It was one of the things setting him on edge. The other being the fact that they had separated the Asset from the Soldier. The Asset didn't understand when he had grown so attached to the Soldier, he knew it was a malfunction that he should report to his handlers but he couldn't bring himself to do it. He didn't want to forget his Soldier.  
  
His separation from the Soldier had set him on edge, it made him angry but he didn't know why. It helped that he could take that anger out on his guards when they attacked him but when he was alone in his cell he did nothing but pace back and forth, he felt like a caged animal and his mind would wander back to the Soldier. He hadn't seen his Soldier since the mission. He didn't know what had happened, just that the Soldier had malfunctioned. Normally when that happened they would be put in the chair and returned either to their cell or the cryo chamber's, but neither of those had happened.  
  
Instead the Asset and the Soldier had been separated.  
  
The Asset had felt... worried that first day, with the Soldier nowhere to be seen and his right eye at the time temporarily blinded the Asset had felt vulnerable. Within 2-3 days his eye had healed, his vision had been lost completely for the first few hours, but after those few hours were up his vision had started returning slowly.  
  
At first it was a burst of bright reds, oranges, blues and every other colour of the rainbow. It had taken some time to get used to but he was able to cope. He had been able to see the guards approaching through the walls, this weird vision had been what had saved him the first time.  
  
Not even a full 12 hours after returning to base the Asset had been attacked by the guards. He would have been dead if he hadn't seen the flash of red and orange move in the corner of his eye, he brought up his metal arm and deflected, surprising the guards, he quickly disarmed the man before moving into a defensive position. When no other attacks came from either side the guards carried on escorting the Asset to his cell.  
  
Slowly, over the course of a few days his rainbow coloured vision slowly faded and his normal sight returned. He was no longer able to see the guards approaching through walls but he was still as fast as ever in a fight.  
  
In his cell the Asset thought of the Soldier, he was fond of the Soldier. Maybe even liked him, but he would never be foolish enough to say so out loud. All the Asset could do was hope - as childish as hope was - that the Soldier wasn't being punished too severely for his malfunction. But with the amount of time the other had been gone he was afraid to know what was happening.  
  
 **Bucky/Soldier POV:**  
  
The Soldier didn't know how long it had been. It had been sent on a mission and malfunctioned, the Asset had been sent in to kill the target instead.  
  
After having been returned to the base it had been put in a cell separate from the Asset. A few hours later it had been put in the chair, it had been told it resisted the recalibration and it didn't know why it would do that. Resisting maintenance meant punishment.  
  
It knew it had to be punished but it didn't understand why it was being put in the chair over and over, it couldn't remember being put in the chair before but it knew it had multiple times. It wouldn't complain though, its handler knew what was best.  
  
Even now after who knew how many days it was still being put in the chair, everytime the pain started up the scientist's would read out these words in Russian. Over the years the Soldiers had learnt Russian, German and many other languages that were needed for its missions, but it wasn't able to tell what was being said as it was consumed by pain.  
  
It didn't know for sure if the words had been a normal part of the recalibration routine but it knew they had been apart of it for some time. When he heard those words his body tensed, it knew that pain was coming, his mind went blank.  
  
When the pain stopped the handler spoke, _"Soldier?"_  
  
 _"Ready to comply."_ The Soldier didn't know why it had answered like that, it was an instinctive reply, like it had said that a million times over for its handler. Its voice was came out hoarse, like it hadn't been used in a long time, or like it had been used a bit too much. The Soldier knew it screamed, that was why it had a mouthguard to muffle them.  
  
As he was taken out of the chair the handler stood there with a book, it was red with a black star and the Soldier knew that was where its handler read the words from. The handler always had it on him lately, constantly writing down information.  
  
He started to speak once again.  
  
"Soldier, what do you know about Captain America."  
  
The Soldier didn't know anything about a Captain America, it panicked silently. Even though the Soldier knew nothing it knew it would still be expected to answer.  
  
"The Soldier does not know anything about a Captain America."  
  
The handler looked as if he didn't know whether he should be pleased or not, "Steve Rogers, what do you know about him?"  
  
The name stirred up a memory, a pale, bony blonde haired boy doubled over coughing, the Soldier shoved the memory down.  
  
"The Soldier does not know anything about a Steve Rogers."  
  
"Oh for fucks sake. Bucky Barnes! You are James Buchanan Barnes! Now what the hell do you know?!"  
  
Bucky? Bucky Barnes. That was him? Yeh it was. That was what Steve used to call him. Stevie, he, he had to find him. Bucky gasped as a flood of memories overcame him, he felt his stomach turn as he remembered everything he had done over the years. He heard the tell tale click of the safety being taken off a gun. What Bucky didn't understand though was why they were reminding him who he was. They had spent so long making him forget it seemed awfully stupid of them to make him remember again.  
  
"Желание." (Longing)  
"Ржавый." (Rusted)  
"Семнадцать." (Seventeen)  
"Рассвет." (Daybreak)  
"Печь." (Furnace)  
"Девять." (Nine)  
"Добросердечный." (Beningn)  
"Возвращение на Родину." (Homecoming)  
"Один." (One)  
"Товарный вагон." (Freight Car)  
  
Bucky heard those words being spoken, with every word he felt himself being pushed back. He was shoved aside a prisoner in his own body. He felt himself straighten up, he looked towards his handler, words tumbling out of his mouth in Russian. He felt his body move against his will.  
  
He walked over to the chair even as he screamed out how much he didn't want to. But it was no use.  
  
He felt himself sit down and lay back without a fight, even as the metal clamps closed around his limbs and he opened his mouth for the mouthguard he screamed and thrashed in his mind trying to get free but to no avail.  
  
As the head clamps lowered Bucky closed his eyes and resigned himself to his fate. He heard the electricity crackle, and then pain consumed him. He pulled against the restraints trying to get away from the source of his pain. He felt himself forgetting, the memories being shoved somewhere he was unable to see them.  
  
When the pain stopped the Winter Soldier opened its eyes.  
  
 _"Soldier?"_  
  
 _"Ready to comply."_  
  
 **Handler's POV:**  
  
The Winter Soldier's handler was pleased by what the scientists had achieved, by having the Soldier associate those 10 words with his wipes and how compliant he was after his wipes they were able to take control of him for a period of time. If something like what happened on the last mission happened again they would be able to take control of the Soldier and make him do their bidding.  
  
It was an important breakthrough for Hydra, and one that would be remembered. Now more than ever they needed the Soldier, considering that the Asset had been injured on their last mission. The doctors had said that he had likely lost all ability to see in his right eye, it was a shame really, having two Soldiers made missions so much easier. The Winter Soldier's handler was pleased with the Asset's performance on his last mission, Peggy Carter was a very skilled woman and dangerous, that was why they had wanted the Soldier to shoot her quickly through the head, no fight meant very little chance of losing.  
  
But of course the Soldier had malfunctioned and the Asset had to be sent in, he had performed exceptionally well. He had taken care of the target leaving behind very little forensic evidence, the only thing the police had found on scene was a strand of hair and that had quickly been taken care of by their Hydra plants in the forensic labs.  
  
The handler wrote down the additional information into a red book with a black star he always carried on his person, all information related to the Winter Soldier Program was written in that book, now including his trigger words and the details of how they implanted them in case they ever needed to repeat the process.  
  
As he exited the room he called over a guard stationed nearby. He had ordered the guards to take care of the Asset, he had been damaged and was a liability they couldn't afford, they couldn't make use of his skills without risking him getting caught. Being blind in one eye gave their Asset a huge disadvantage.  
  
"Have you taken care of the Asset yet?" He had told them to attack him whilst in the corridors, the Asset would have thought it was a training session but he would have been disposed of instead. They didn't want to walk up and try to kill him since they didn't know how he would react, there was a chance that if he thought they were trying to kill him the Asset would have turned on them, and even with the wipes and the injury they weren't too eager to find out just how dangerous he was. Which was why they opted to off him during one of their spontaneous training sessions in the hallways.  
  
"No sir."  
  
"No? And why the hell haven't you?"  
  
"We've tried sir, but the Asset even with his injury is able to beat all of us."  
  
"Well then attack him from the right before he has a chance to notice, he won't see you coming!"  
  
"We've tried sir, but it doesn't seem to work. Honestly we don't even think he's injured, he reacts just as quickly as always and none of us have been able to catch him off guard."  
  
'Don't even think he's injured,' it was an interesting thought, he had seen the results of the experiments and read about them as well, it couldn't have been too far fetched to believe that maybe the Asset had healed from its injury. It's possible that maybe they didnt need need to get rid of their other Soldier just yet.  
  
"Take me to him."  
  
"Sir?"  
  
"You heard me, take me to him."  
  
The guard stood there for a moment in shock before moving to lead the Winter Soldier's handler to the Asset.  
  
 **Tony/Asset POV:**  
  
As the Asset sat in his cell he could hear someone approaching. He sat waiting, unsure if his cell was the destination.  
  
The footsteps stopped outside the Asset's cell and as he looked towards the door he was surprised to see his handler, the Asset hadn't seen his handler since his mission. Though the appearance of his handler was unexpected the Asset showed no outward signs of his surprise. His face remained stoic and blank, not a muscle moved to give him away.  
  
"Asset, status report."  
  
"The Asset is functional, no maintenance is required." The Asset knew not to lie, lying about his functionality could jeopardise a mission which meant punishment.  
  
"And injuries?"  
  
"The Asset is fully healed."  
  
The Asset didn't understand his handlers scepticism and surprise at his answer, but it wasn't his place to question his handler. After a few seconds of silence the handler seemed satisfied with the answers and left.  
  
 **Omniscient POV:**  
  
The handler left the Asset's cell and headed towards the scientist's quarters. His arrival was noticed instantly by the scientist's present, after all they collaborated often but they almost never exclusively sought each other out unless it was necessary. They didn't get along too well.  
  
"I want you to repeat the procedure on the Asset."  
  
The scientist's murmered in confusion, "Sir?" One of the scientist's called out. The man was high ranking but anybody assigned directly to the Winter Soldiers was instantly more important, it was a privilege not many got. After all the Soldiers were highly valued by Hydra and their superiors refused to assign nobody's to them.  
  
"It seems, that the doctors were wrong. The Asset has healed from his injuries and I want the same failsafe in place on the Asset. We don't know much about him and so we don't know what might trigger him, we don't need another incident like the Soldiers happening again. You've got 4 hours to prepare, I want this done as soon as possible."  
  
As the handler left the scientists muttered angrily, they were angry because none of the idiots they worked with understood their work and how much effort was put into making sure that everything worked.  
  
The lead scientist, a thin, sickly looking man called for quiet. He understood their anger but they had been given orders and unless they wanted to end up dead because they angered the wrong people they should get on with it.  
  
They already knew what to do, after all they had plenty of practice with the Soldier.  
  
The scientist's that Hydra employed were ruthless. They didn't care what they had to do as long as they got what they wanted. They went through human test subject like a child went through toys, the deaths meant nothing and they were geniuses in their own sick twisted way.  
  
Meanwhile, the Soldier was taken back to the cell he shared with the Asset - not that he remembered.  
  
As the door shut behind him he registered the presence of another, he had been told he would be sharing the cell with another Soldier but it didn't mean he trusted them.  
  
The Asset recognised the Soldier even in the dim light of the cell, but he recognised the blank, glazed look in his eyes even better. As much as he wanted to greet the Soldier he knew better than that. He had just been in the chair which meant he wouldn't hesitate to report the Asset's unusual behaviour to their handler, the Asset knew he should inform the handler himself but something stopped him. Everytime he thought of reporting his malfunction something in his mind thrashed desperately, pleading for him not to. He didn't know why he listened to it but he did.  
  
 ** _~4 hours later~_**  
  
The handler was giddy, he would soon be able to have complete control over two of Hydra's most dangerous weapons. The Winter Soldiers were a guarded secret that not many knew about, the underlings at Hydra only ever heard whispers and even then they didn't know if any of it was true.  
  
The handler had feared that he would be eliminated when his superiors found out about what happened but thankfully luck seemed to be on his side. The scientist's had been able to find a way to control one of their Winter Soldiers, and the doctors who had told him that the Asset would no longer be able to see had been wrong. They had underestimated the healing factor of the Asset.  
  
The Handler's superiors had been delighted to know about what they had done to the Soldier, and that the Asset had healed and that they wouldn't need to get rid of it.  
  
They had been even happier to know that soon they would have both Winter Soldiers under their control.  
  
Whilst the handler was celebrating his victory of pleasing his superiors the Asset was sat in the chair. He didn't know how they had found out about his malfunction but this was just a reminder for the Asset to stop keeping secrets.  
  
As he sat in the chair he didn't fight against his restraints. As the head piece lowered and the pain started up the Asset heard his handler enter and start speaking.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hah did you honestly think I would kill him off? Not a chance in hell. Also schools started up again and I'm realllllllly busy so I'll just be updating every Monday now, sorry. Also I am sooooooooooo ill and am quarantining.


	11. Punishment

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All the speech in italics is being spoken in a foreign language (russian) I've done this because I dont want to butcher the language by using google translate

**Omniscient POV:**  
  
The higher ups at Hydra had been exceptionally happy. After they had been told one of their Winter Soldiers had to be put down they had been in a foul mood, and then they had been told that the other Soldier had remembered during the last mission and nearly revealed their presence to everyone.  
  
They had been contemplating what they were going to do, with only one Winter Soldier they were still insanely powerful but when they had two it had made their life so much easier. There was also the question of what to do if the Soldier malfunctioned on a mission again. They couldn't have him remembering everything halfway through an assassination and have him expose them.  
  
They had been frustrated and angry having two Soldiers meant that every mission was basically a guaranteed success in case something like this happened but they didn't know what they were going to do now that one of them was a liability instead of an Asset and the other too unpredictable. They were considering taking out their anger on the Soldier's handler when they received the good news.  
  
The Soldier had recovered and was in good condition and the scientist's that had been assigned to the facility with the Soldiers had come up with a solution for their misbehaving Asset.  
  
They had been told that both Soldiers would soon be back under control and mission ready, they had been told that both Soldiers would be undergoing the same treatment so that in case either of them remembered during a mission they would be able to control the Soldiers for awhile until they could get them back into the chair. It also guaranteed that a mission would still be able to be carried out.  
  
They were ecstatic at the news, after all the Assets were valuable weapons. Even though they had managed to work out all the known kinks in the Soldiers programming there were no more missions they needed done yet. They ordered for both of the Soldiers to be put back in cryo.  
  
  
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The Winter Soldiers were a whisper, not many knew they existed and that was exactly the way that Hydra wanted to keep it. The Soldiers were occasionally taken out of cryo for a mission, an assassination made to look like an accident or death by natural causes or a quick bullet to the head with all the family and witnesses dead to make an example and leave behind nothing but conspiracies. But for the most part the Soldiers existences consisted of cryo and assassinations. They were unrivaled and dangerous.  
  
One thing that Hydra failed to take into account though was their two greatest weapons growing closer together.  
  
When they had nobody else they had each other, the Asset and the Soldier spent a lot of time together. On missions where they waited for their target to arrive they sat silently enjoying the others company, on hikes to their rendezvous points they let their hands brush together but never more.  
  
When they wait for their handler to ready the cryo chamber's they sat obediently on their cots but took comfort in one anothers presence.  
  
The Asset knew that he and the Soldier shouldn't feel like this, that they should tell their handler. But they had nothing but each other and that was something they wanted to keep.  
  
Even after wipes the first thing that would return to either of them was how much they both cared for each other.  
  
They spent almost all of their time together, they were sent on missions together and returned together (neither of them was stupid enough to believe that their handler completely trusted them, they both knew that their arms were fitted with trackers.)  
  
The Asset enjoyed talking to the Soldier, but he was unable to on missions. When they were alone the Asset would try to figure out how to take off his muzzle, it made him feel like a dog who didn't know when to shut up.  
  
The Asset knew that he and the Soldier were weapons but he always felt that way less and less.  
  
The Asset wanted to know if he was able to take the muzzle off, it gave him something to do when waiting for a target.  
  
Eventually, whilst on a mission to kill a businessman the Asset found the locking mechanism, he took his muzzle off and held it in his hands. The Soldier looked at him curiously, after all neither of them had done this before.  
  
The Asset had looked at the Soldier with his own muzzle on, the mission was happening at the targets house so there was no need for their goggles. The goggles were usually worn when the death was happening publicly and their handlers didn't want them to miss the target, the goggles would scan the crowds and point out their mark. Failure especially fir a reason as stupid as not having seen the mark was unacceptable.  
  
The Asset had asked if he could take the Soldier's mask off, he had hesitated for a moment before reluctantly nodding.  
  
They sat in silence for a bit, neither knew what to do. They had never done so before and were a little confused and hesitant. They felt as if their handler would jump out of the shadows and have them wiped for doing something like this without permission.  
  
_"Why'd you take it off?"_ The Soldier asked, his voice was gruff and monotonous, even speaking he didn't let any emotions slip.  
  
His Russian was flawless but then again many of the languages they spoke were. Hydra didn't allow for anything less than perfection, it was why they spoke with accents good enough to pass them off as a local.  
  
_"Not sure, I just... wanted to. I guess."_  
  
_"We're not meant to want."_  
  
_"I know. Are you going to tell our handler?"_  
  
The Soldier was conflicted. He knew that he should report the Asset's malfunction since he had made it clear that he wouldn't but... _he_ didn't _want_ to. This only confused the Soldier, he wasn't meant to want but he didn't want to tell the handler of the Asset's wanting and did that mean him not wanting was wanting and... HE WAS JUST SO CONFUSED.  
  
Eventually he decided not to, NOT because he didn't want to but because it wasn't relevant to the mission. No mission parameters were being broken and the mission was not in any danger.  
  
_"No, it is not relevant to the mission."_  
  
_"Hmmm... why do we do what they tell us to?"_ The question from the Asset was unexpected. But for a long time he had been thinking of this, why did he and the Soldier bow to their handler, - he was a monster, they all were - when they could simply. Stop.  
  
Lately these thoughts had plagued the Asset more and more often, they were dangerous things to think but once he started thinking like that it was hard to stop. He should report to his handler. 'But why... if you don't tell him he won't know. Cover it up, don't let them know and they won't. Why do you listen to them, you don't have to. And you're more powerful than they'll ever be, you know things that they don't, you could disappear forever, erase every trace of yourself digitally and they would never find you. So why do you listen to them?"  
  
They were dangerous thoughts. Yet the Asset couldn't stop listening to the voice that argued with what he has always known. ' _Is_ this all you've ever known. Or are they hiding something from you, both of you."  
  
_"Because they are our handler. What our handler tells us to do we do."_ The Soldier was uncomfortable with the way the conversation had steered, he had never (remembered) questioning an order from his handler and he didn't want to start now. He could only imagine what the punishment would be, and he was not eager to find out if he was right. _"Are you thinking of disobeying orders?"_  
  
The Asset thought for a moment, he didn't know why he did what they told him to but he thinks that he doesn't want to anymore. With the Soldier in the same position as him he feels comfortable enough to confide in him, _"Yes."_ He knows that he shouldn't trust, not ever, not anyone. But he does trust the Soldier, at least not to report his behaviour to their handlers.  
  
_"You shouldn't, if you don't do what they ask they'll have to put you back in the chair."_  
  
_"They can't put me in the chair if I'm not there to put in the chair,"_ the Asset whispers back. He thinks of running away with the Soldier, he doesn't know what they'd do once they got away. After all they were weapons not people, what would their purpose be when there was no longer anyone to point them at a target. That scared the Asset more than anything, the fear that if they left they would no longer have a purpose. That they would run and be free only to realise that there was nothing for them, and that was something that would probably stop the Asset from ever fully carrying out his plan to leave.  
  
_"You'll run away? Why?"_  
  
_"We have no reason to listen to them, all they do is- "_  
  
_"You are malfunctioning, you should report to our handler when we get back to base. The sooner you report it the sooner the error will be fixed."_  
  
_"I'm not-! "_ the Asset stopped. Even though he was terrified of running, his curiosity told him to try, but his mind conjured up a memory.  
  
**The Asset and Soldier running and running. They ran from someone then stopped but then they ran again. And this time it was straight back into Hydra's arms. He remembered passing out and then waking up in the chair and the excruciating pain of punishment.**  
  
The Asset trembled in fear. _"It's nothing. I'm just malfunctioning, I'll report to our handler when we return."_ The memory scared the Asset, he didn't want to go through that pain. He remembered that it was excruciating. That he screamed and screamed until he couldn't scream anymore.  
  
The Soldier had been pleased by the Asset's response, he didn't want the Asset to hurt anymore than the handler's decided. If he kept it a secret and it was discovered, he would hurt a lot more than if he reported it now.  
  
  
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**Soldier POV:**  
  
Hydra base - _~time skip~_  
  
The Soldier sat in silence. He could still hear the Asset's pained screams, he wished he'd never told him to report to their handler. His disobedience hadn't jeopardised the plan but the fact that he had considered running away and tried to convince the Soldier to do so as well had angered the handler.  
  
Their disobedience reflected badly on their handler, it made him seem incompetent. It also didn't do any good for them, if they weren't able to complete a mission without malfunctioning or disobeying orders there wouldn't be any use for them and they would be put on ice. The Soldier thought back to the times he was in cryo and shivered, he could feel the cold that settled in his bones and the way his heartbeat slowed. The cold never seemed to leave no matter how long he had been out of cryostasis and he didn't want to do anything that might mean he had to be put back on ice before it was necessary.  
  
He didn't know if he had done the right thing telling the Asset to do what he did, looking up at his blank eyes he felt that he'd made a mistake. He couldn't look him in the eye any longer knowing that he was a reason that those eyes looked at him without recognition.  
  
The cell that the Winter Soldiers were kept in were dark and damp, time didn't exist and the Soldier didn't know how long it had been. It felt like it had been days but it could have been longer no-one had come to check up on him or the Asset. The Soldier for the first time in a long time felt hungry, normally when they were taken out of cryo they were fed nutrients, vitamins, etc, through an IV drip. This normally meant that they didn't have to be fed until the next time they were taken out on a mission. Their cell was equipped with a toilet and sink but they rarely ever had need of it. They were normally taken before they went into cryo, it was also the reason they didn't have a shower in the cell. After missions before they were put back on ice the Soldiers would be stripped down and hosed off, the water was normally ice cold, hot water was a luxury that the two Soldiers didn't have the privilege to use.  
  
Normally after a mission, unless something had gone wrong they would be put back into their respective chambers. They had never been left out of cryo for this long and so hunger was something the Soldier was unfamiliar with, but the more time that passed the more his stomach cramped in pain demanding nutrition. Occasionally one of the Assets would get up to have a drink of water from the tap but he could see that the lack of nutrients was effecting the Asset as well. Had their handler forgotten about them? Was this a punishment for what had happened? The Soldier felt weaker than he he ever had, he laid down and couldn't find it in himself to get back up. Time passed but the Soldier didn't know how long but he suspected it had been a few days, though it could have been longer than that. Sometime after that time lost meaning for the Soldier, he had no idea how long it had been.

Then for the first time in a long while he felt himself shivering. The cold crept up on him and he couldn't stop shivering looking over he could see that the Asset was in a similar position to him.  
  
He felt tired. He would close his eyes just for a moment. He just needed some rest then he would be fine, well that and some of the liquid vitamins and whatnot the handler normally gave them.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
The Soldier woke up alert, the last thing he remembered was the aching, raw, hurt of hunger. He remembered feeling weak and tired. Despite being awake he kept his eyes shut and his breathing even, his heart kept steady and muscles lax. Unless anyone in the room had seen the sudden tensing of muscles that lasted a split second they would assume he was still sleeping.  
  
The Soldier heard voices, one of which belonged to his handler. He knew he was still on base and in no immediate danger and opened his eyes. He quickly realised he was in some type of medical room. He could see the various medical tools and equipment, he felt the IV's in his arms and saw them attached to different bags.  
  
He realised that the weakness and pain of hunger had faded, he felt his strength come back but he quickly realised that he was still a lot weaker than he normally was.  
  
"Ah good, you're awake," that was some scientist, the Soldier didn't much care for them.  
  
The Soldier was awake and it had been noticed, but he didn't know what to do. Whether he should remain laying down or sit up. He hadn't been ordered to sit up but he felt that laying down whilst his handler was within the room was disrespectful.  
  
So he cautiously sat up.  
  
Looking at his handler he noticed that the years had taken their toll. The hair was thinning out with the odd grey patch, the way his skin sagged and wrinkled more than before and the way he leaned on the wall. The years had not been kind to him and whilst he grew old the Soldier remained the same. He suspected that he would outlive this one as well.  
  
The Soldier wondered for a brief second if he could die, if a bullet to the head or a knife to the heart would kill him like any other person.  
  
He quickly dismissed the thought.  
  
He wasn't a person, he was a weapon for Hydra to use. If he got damaged his handler would have him fixed, there was nothing like death for the Soldier. For either of Hydra's Winter Soldiers.  
  
"Soldier, you've been asleep for a few weeks now but not in cryo. You and the Asset have weakened and if you can't bring yourself back up to our standard you will be decommissioned. Understood?"  
  
He gave a resolute nod and waited for his instructions.  
  
"Come. The Asset's training has already begun and you need to catch up."  
  
The Soldier stood to follow but quickly collapsed. Even now he felt too weak.  
  
He couldn't be weak, he wasn't of any use if he was weak, wasn't an effective weapon if he couldn't work properly. He would be-  
  
_'Would that be so bad?'_  
  
**'What?'**  
  
_'Would it truly be so bad if they decide they no longer have use of you?'_  
  
**'Of course it would.'**  
  
_'Why?'_  
  
**'Why? Well because- because it would mean that I- I-'**  
  
_'Would not being forced to do what they say really be that bad? Would not being made to kill people really be that bad?"_  
  
**'I- I... dont... know.'**  
  
Before he could carry on the conversation with the voice in his head he felt the air being kicked out of his body. He curled up into himself as he collapsed and sucked in a breath sharply.  
  
"Get up you useless thing."  
  
_'See, I don't see why you do what they tell you to.'_  
  
**'Shut up! You're not real.'**  
  
_'Of course I am. I'm-'_  
  
The Soldier shut the voice out. He was malfunctioning, he would report to his handler once he gained his strength back. (He didn't think he would survive a trip to the chair in the state he was in.)  
  
He staggered to his feet, his legs weak and unreliable. His handler looked at him with vague disgust and made a 'follow me' gesture. The Soldier followed behind on shaky legs, his muscles started to burn after some time having become unused to lots of movement but he pushed the pain to the back of his mind and powered on.  
  
The Soldier was brought to a sparring room. The floor was concrete and there was a part if the room that had been walled off for the scientists if they wanted to observe the Winter Soldiers sparring.  
  
The Soldier thought back to all of his sessions with the Asset and remembered how close each one would be. He was so weak though that he didn't doubt that he would lose. Seeing the Asset the Soldier could see how much of a disadvantage he was at.  
  
They fought and it went without saying that the Soldier lost big time. He had a broken arm and a few bruised (and likely cracked) ribs as well as a multitude of other injuries he would have to find a way to overcome by tomorrow's session.  
  
When he was taken to his cell he saw that he didn't share it with the Asset, it set him on edge. Even though he had been beaten into the ground by him the Soldier acknowledged that if the positions were reversed he would have done the exact same thing. Neither wanted to risk a punishment for going too easy on one another, though the Soldier did notice that the Asset chose not to take quite a few of the openings that the Soldier had foolishly given him.  
  
He was... anxious? He wanted to know why he didn't have a cell with the Asset. They had shared a cell since the beginning and not having the other Soldier here with him made him feel uncomfortable. It felt wrong.  
  
But ultimately it was his handlers decision and that decision was final.  
  
The next morning he was collected by guards and taken to spar the Asset once again. He lost once again.  
  
He was then taken to the Scientists, they liked to test his and the Asset's endurance. Sometimes they would be made to hold their breath underwater for as long as they could, and then they would be trained to be able to hold it for twice as long as that. It was like this with everything that the scientists thought the serum enhanced. Endurance, healing ability, lung capacity, temperature resistance etc.  
  
Scientist's were the most annoying part of Hydra and the Soldier truly wouldn't mind it if he was ever assigned to kill one of them.  
  
After his time with the scientists the Soldier was escorted back to his cell and he had been issued some new information. He was told that he was allowed to rest. Sleep.  
  
It was a foreign concept to the Soldier. Normally they weren't allowed to rest in the breaks they got in between a long mission. Normally they would get that rest when the mission was over and they were put on ice.  
  
It was difficult for the Soldier to sleep at first. He wasn't able to grasp the concept the first few times, but eventually he got the hang of it. Most days he wouldn't get any 'sleep', but sometimes after a particularly difficult period of time (be it after days or weeks) the Soldier would be able to rest.  
  
This routine repeated itself for several weeks. The Soldier would wake up, guards would arrive and he was escorted to his sparring session, then he was taken to the scientists and then finally returned to the cell.  
  
As the weeks passed the Soldier was able to regain his lost strength and the spars were no longer so one-sided. The scientists had also improved his endurance etc, tenfold. He knew that the same thing was being done to the Asset.  
  
Whatever the handler was preparing him for must have been incredibly difficult.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
The first time the Soldier notices that he is being taken to his old cell he is slightly confused, but then the pieces of the puzzle came together and he was excited. But he hid it well, he didn't want a reason to be wiped. (The voice was forgotten about after the weeks of ~~torture~~ training.)  
  
When he entered the cell the Asset was already there, he wanted to do something to express his joy but he knew better than that. Even after the guards left the Soldier did nothing more than sit by the Assets side. He hoped that the Asset remembered who he was. The way his body tilted towards him he guessed that he did.  
  
Their schedule however didn't change much after that, everything continued as normal and the Soldier could tell that both of Hydra's secret weapons were pulling more than one punch. But it was subtle enough that no-one noticed it.

The only change that confused the Soldier was that they were being taught new fighting techniques and moves. This particular fighting style was suited for people whose opponents were bigger and stronger than they were. Which only confused the Soldier as there weren't many who were stronger than him or the Asset. Even if there was it was unlikely the handler would make them fight hand-to-hand, it was more likely for the assassination to be done by shooting them. The Soldier thought that whatever mission they were being prepared for was quite peculiar.  
  
Their mission finally came months later. It was the longest amount of time that Hydra had dared let their Winter Soldiers out of cryo. They had both been wiped quite often in the time leading up to the mission being assigned, the Soldier knew that Hydra still didn't wish to take any chances with them. Chances for what? He didn't know.  
  
But the assignment that he and the Asset had been tasked with was completely different to what they were normally expected to do. There was no assassination, no poison, nothing like that.  
  
But there were girls they had been told to teach.  
  
"You have been assigned to the Red Room Program in Russia. You are to help train the Black Widows."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter and as always please comment.


	12. Black Widows

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Speech in italics is being said in a foreign language, sine its Russian unless its said otherwise

**1990**  
  
**Asset POV:**  
  
Black Widows. The name was familiar to the Asset but he didn't know why. He didn't think too hard about it though, after all it was possible that him and the Soldier had done this before but had just forgotten.  
  
When time came for the Soldiers to be transported to the location of the mission the Asset couldn't remember much of how they left the country, the memories were hazy but unimportant. Information not relating to the mission was unnecessary for the Asset to know. His handler would have told them if they had needed to know.  
  
Much of the journey was a blank for the Asset, he couldn't remember much about it but the next thing he knew was that they had arrived at their location and he and the Soldier were being herded inside.  
  
At some point their muzzles had been put on and they had been ordered not to take them off.  
  
Walking through the long winding corridors the Asset lost track of how many turns they had taken.  
  
Him, the Soldier as well as their handler entered a decently sized office, the two guards who had came with them stood outside on either side of the door. Stood in the middle was a woman, she had dark, almost black eyes with shoulder length auburn hair. Overall she was someone forgettable, someone the average person wouldn't look at twice if they passed her on the street. But the Asset wasn't an average person, he was a weapon and likely the best assassin in the world rivaled only by the Soldier, he saw the way her eyes scanned over them discretely checking for weapons. He saw the outline of a gun at her waist, the bulge of a knife at her thigh and the light reflecting off another gun in her left boot. She held herself relaxed yet in a position where she could easily be ready to fight in a matter of moments.  
  
_"So, these are the infamous Winter Soldiers that Hydra is so proud of. I'm not going to lie with the way you spoke of them I was expecting something more... impressive."_  
  
The Asset bristled slightly at the insult but he hid his reaction, if he wasn't able to do even this properly it would reflect badly in his handler.  
  
_"Oh please, you've seen their track record. You know **exactly** how impressive they are."_  
  
The woman looked slightly angry at his handlers response, she hid it well but it still shone through in her eyes. _"Hmmmmm, we'll see. Follow me"_  
  
The woman started to leave the room but the Asset and Soldier didn't move a muscle, they took orders from their handler not this woman. As she left she noticed that neither of them had moved. _"What's wrong with them. Have you forgotten to recharge them or something."_  
  
_"There's nothing wrong with them. It's just that they only follow **my** orders. Not yours."_  
  
_"Nice to see you have your dogs fully trained. Means I won't have to clean up after them,"_ she sneered. The Asset didn't like the way she spoke of them, or their handler. He made a note to keep an eye on her, she was a potential threat.  
  
As she turned around and carried on walking the handler followed and ordered them to do so as well. They were led down a long corridor with doors lined up one after the other, they were bolted shut from the outside and the Asset could only guess at what they wanted to keep locked in so desperately.  
  
He didn't let his mind linger long on those thoughts, he hadn't been ordered to do so. He hadn't been ordered to do anything other than follow his handler.  
  
After walking down multiple similarly looking corridors the woman finally stopped. And gestured to the room she was stood in front of, _"This is a room for one of them. Just like you requested. I don't understand why you don't just keep them in one room."_  
  
_"If something happens to one of them it will be easier to deal with them if they're separated instead of if they're both together."_ Their handler grunted back.  
  
The Asset was roughly pushed into the room and the door was shut behind him, he heard the telltale click of a lock and the slide of a bolt. Normally it would be enough to keep the Asset in his cell back at the base but this door was wooden - not the reinforced steel used by Hydra - meaning if he tried hard enough he would most likely be able to tear it down if he wished. Though he didn't know what exactly he would do after breaking down the door.  
  
Not that he would do that in the first place, it was against the rules to break out of the cell.  
  
The Asset wondered where the Soldier was being kept, he didn't like it when they were separated. Didn't like it when he couldn't see that the Soldier was alright. Didn't like it when he couldn't comfort the Soldier if it was needed.  
  
The Asset knew he should stop thinking these thoughts, the thoughts that told him he 'didn't like...' or 'didn't want...' or that 'he could...' they were dangerous thoughts. Thoughts that weren't permitted. Dangerous thoughts that you had to smother like a fire, put it out before it got too big. But unlike a fire they didn't die, they came back again, and again. Whispers in the back of his mind that refused to leave, they were like a dog with a bone.  
  
The thing about these thoughts though, was that if you ignored them long enough they quietened down. Turned to whispers but never left completely. They always came back at the worst moments though. They rose in volume whilst he was on a mission by himself, told him he could disable the tracking device in his arm and run away, be safe and free.  
  
On more than one occasion he found himself wandering from the path to the rendezvous point. He always corrected himself before he could completely lose himself to the thoughts, when the voices got too loud he would threaten to tell his handler. It always made the voice in his mind shut up, but never for long. Even when the Asset threatened to tell his handler he knee that he never would. It was an empty threat, one that the Asset would never follow through on because no matter how troublesome the voice and its ideas may have been, at times like these, when the Asset and Soldier were separated it made for company that the Asset could not get.  
  
Company that the handler would never be able to deny to the Asset.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
The Asset was crouched in the corner of the room.  
  
The bed sat with its headboard against a wall right in front of a window, the window faced east meaning that during dawn and any other time of day that the sun wasn't high in the sky the sun would reflect light off the windows, making it impossible to clearly make out any threats that may have been approaching from that direction.  
  
If he laid in the bed, like it had most likely been expected of him, he would be vulnerable to any attacks that came from the window and the door. The bed was sat in front of the door meaning if someone was to barge through they would have a clear shot of the Asset.  
  
The Asset had searched every inch of the room, it wasn't easily defendable. Whoever this room was meant to hold wasn't meant to be able to hide or defend themselves. He had taken a close look at the bed and seen the grooves in the metal poles, someone had clearly been kept here and had tried to escape. Likely handcuffed to the beds headboard.  
  
As they tried to escape they had managed to cut through the metal ever so slightly, but not enough fot it to have been weakened enough for them to break free.  
  
Looking at the placement of the bed and the window the Asset figured something out. The room was set out exactly how it was meant to be.  
  
The window was there to taunt whoever was kept here, it screamed freedom to whoever they kept chained in here. Taunted them with freedom they couldn't have. It was cruel but the Asset could figure out that it was an effective way to break the captives spirit.  
  
Since the room was made so that the captive couldn't defend themselves there weren't many vantage points that the Asset could find. One of the best (and only) spots that the Asset found was the corner to the left of the window.  
  
It kept him out of view from the window but gave him the perfect view of the door meaning if an enemy was to enter he would have a split-seconds advantage to attack whilst the intruder scanned the room to find him. Any advantage was one that the Asset would take, it could be the difference between life and death.  
  
With the corner being one of the only advantageous spots in the room he decided that it was only sensible to stay crouching there ready for any threats, which is where his handler found him.  
  
The Asset didn't know how long it had been since he had been brought here just that it had been quite awhile.  
  
When the Asset heard the door being unlocked he tensed in anticipation, he was ready to defend himself if he needed to. When the door opened the Asset realised that it was his handler and relaxed slightly but not completely. He knew better than to think his handler wouldn't punish him, though if he was punished it was because he had done something wrong.  
  
It took his handler a second to locate the Asset in the corner of the room, he looked a little irritated but it didn't seem to be directed at him. "Asset, follow me."  
  
He got to his feet gracefully and followed his handler obediently, they walked down a few more identical corridors before coming to a stop in front of another door, this one also identical to every other door in this facility. The handler unbolted and unlocked the door and entered.  
  
"Soldier, follow me."  
  
The Asset watched as the Soldier exited his room, the Asset was happy, he now knew where the Soldier was being kept. It comforted him knowing where the Soldier was even if he wasn't able to be there with him.  
  
As they stated walking again it occurred to the Asset that he had no idea where they were being taken or what was to be expected of them. He chanced a look at the Soldier but he was staring straight ahead face blank.  
  
The Asset calmed himself, he had nothing to fear. As long as he did what was expected of him when he was asked to he would be fine.  
  
Finally their handler stopped walking and stood in front of a large set of double doors, they were the only pair of doors not identical to the others. "If you fail to follow the instructions or hesitate to do what your told even if it's just by a second, I'll have you put in the chair for so long you won't even remember how to talk. If you do _anything_ , and I mean anything at all that reflects badly on Hydra you _will_ be made to regret it. Have I made myself clear?" Their handler voice was hard, he was making it clear that no incompetence was allowed - not that it normally was.  
  
Both of the Winter Soldiers gave a firm nod and a clear, "Yes sir."  
  
Their handler grunted his approval and pushed open the wooden doors. Trailing behind him the two Soldiers entered after their handler.  
  
Entering the room the first thing the Asset noticed was how many girls there were, all of them in their teens. The youngest seemed to be 12 and the eldest no older than 16.  
  
The room was mostly bare except for two armchairs and multiple mats layed out on the floor. The girls stood on either side of the mats two on each, each pair was seemingly picked randomly. One pair consisted of a 12 and a 16 year old, the younger almost half the elder ones size. Another pair consisted of a 14 and 15 year old, similar in size, height, build and weight. Each pair was different from the others, some girls were partnered with someone they were physically on par with whilst others were likely to be battered to the ground if they didn't know the correct technique to take their opponent down.  
  
The Asset still didn't understand what was expected of him. Had they already been informed of their roles on the way here? The Asset didn't think that they had but he couldn't remember much of their journey, he could feel himself start to panic but he stood stoic as ever not letting his panic show.  
  
He wanted to look over at the Soldier, see if he felt the same way but he didn't. In front of such a large group of people one was likely to see him glance at the Soldier if he did. The action would show his uncertainty which reflected badly on his handler and therefore Hydra, and they had already been informed of what would happen to them if such a thing happened.  
  
Their handler stood in the doorway for a moment before waking further into the room and settling into a chair. Both Soldiers followed closely behind and stood tall on either side of him, like bodyguards. The Asset remembered a memory of himself, **he walked down a red carpet men in black suits surrounding him, his bodyguards.**

He must have been important if he needed to hire people to protect him. He must have been weak if he had needed people to protect him.   
  
The Asset snapped out of his little daydream, he wasn't meant to remember. It wasn't allowed. He just hoped that none of the people present had noticed. Quickly and discreetly glancing around the Asset confirmed that no-one noticed his inattention.  
  
A few minutes passed and no-one had moved a muscle, their handler was still sat comfortably in the armchair and both the Asset and the Soldier knew better than to shift or move without being given permission beforehand. A majority of the girls stood still and quiet whilst waiting (the Asset didn't know what they were waiting for) but a few of them started to shift restlessly, eyes darting around rapidly (they weren't even trying to be discreet.) A few brave ones started to mutter under their breaths wondering what was taking so long.  
  
The Asset was confused as to why some of these girls who were obviously meant to be some type of spy or soldiers couldn't even keep their composure for a few minutes.  
  
He wondered if they would be punished like him and the Soldier were.  
  
Even as more and more girls started to shift and mutter to their partners, neither Soldiers moved an inch. They held their bodies in the same position as they were in since they entered the room and didn't so much as twitch a finger.  
  
After roughly 20 - 30 minutes the wooden doors were opened once again and the girls fell silent and stood still.  
  
The Asset glanced over to assess who had entered and analyse whether or not they were a threat. He recognised the woman from earlier and readied to defend their handler. Though the woman hadn't given any indication that she would harm the handler the Asset knew better than to trust first impressions.  
  
_"Girls, you're pathetic. You can't even stand still or silently for a few minutes whilst waiting for your instructor to enter._ " The Asset saw the girls tense, he thought they were quite dumb. Handlers knew everything no matter how hard you might try to hide it from them, he guesses instead of a handler they had an instructor but the point remained, they knew everything. _"You will of course be properly disciplined later but for now I'm sure you've all noticed our new guests."_  
  
Every pair of eyes swiveled towards them, all curious and wary of the newcomers. _"They are here to help out with training you. They will carry out demonstrations for you and some of you will be lucky enough to spar with them. Now girls, let me introduce Hydra's famous Winter Soldiers."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Updates might come later in the day than the normal time since I finish school late on a Monday. 
> 
> Also hope you guys enjoyed and as always please comment


	13. Training

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the late update school is a pain. In case you guys didn't know I started school again and once again forgot that Monday was a thing.
> 
> Italics in the beginning is just Tony talking to 'the voice's in his head. After that italics just means they're speaking in a foreign language. Unless specified assume its Russian

**Asset POV:**  
  
The Asset was confused. From what he knew to be famous you had to be well-known and popular, but him and the Soldier were meant to be ghost stories. People weren't meant to know about them. Therefore they couldn't be popular or 'famous' as the woman had put it.  
  
Bringing his attention to the situation at hand though he guessed that it wasn't really relevant.  
  
They were meant to teach these girls, it made sense. Why they had been taught new fighting styles and moves not suited for them but for these girls.  
  
"Alright, let's get on with it."  
  
Their handler waved them forward, he leaned back in the armchair and looked on in amusement. The Asset wasn't sure why the handler looked amused but it wasn't for him to understand.  
  
"Okay, the first set of moves is for if you've managed to get into close proximity of you're target. This is for when they are facing towards you." The Asset got into position with the Soldier, being the smaller of the two Winter Soldiers meant he was the one demonstrating the move. He stood in front of the Soldier less then 10 inches apart. The Asset was roughly two inches shorter than the Soldier and from the angle he was stood at the Asset was staring directly at where the Soldiers lips would be if they weren't wearing a mask.  
  
Even though there was no change in the Soldier's appearance the Asset knew he had guessed the Asset's thoughts and was amused by them, a small smirk playing on his lips that couldn't be seen.  
  
"The first thing you want to do is get as close to them as possible, " the Asset walked even closer to the Soldier. "Then when you're within arms reach strike the target swiftly in the throat." The Asset struck out by without his usual force, he hadn't been ordered to incapacitate the Soldier so he wouldn't try to. "If done right, which is expected of you, it can cause the target a great amount of pain. They will most likely be stunned for a second, this will give you the opportunity to eliminate them." The Soldier took a step back to mimick the reaction of a possible target and bent forward slightly. The Asset then slid behind the Soldier and hooked his arm across the Soldiers throat and mimed slitting the throat.  
  
"But, if your target is trained and manages to defend himself," the Soldier twisted out of the Asset's hold and got into his fighting stance, "then distance yourself from the target and come up with another strategy. You should take the time you manage to buy yourself to locate and exploit any weaknesses."  
  
The last part was directed at the girls but the Asset didn't understand why it had to be pointed out, he thought that it was common knowledge that if at first your target survives what you should do is locate and exploit weaknesses.  
  
The girls instructor asked them to do the demonstration once again, when they finished she ordered the girls to copy them. Looking around the Asset didn't know how he felt for or about the girls. He could tell that they were trying their best to replicate their moves exactly but their best likely wouldn't be enough. A few of the girls were likely to be killed on their first mission whereas others seemed to excel.  
  
Scanning the group of girls the Asset's attention was caught by one with bright red hair, she was replicating the moves very well but something about her bothered the Asset and he didn't know what it was.  
  
He felt faint anger at her, even though he had never seen her before in his life. He also felt grief and a surge of protectiveness, the Asset was confused by the assault of emotions he was overcome by.  
  
The young redhead couldn't have been older than 14 which only served to further confuse him. As she slipped behind her larger opponent the Asset caught a glimpse of moss green eyes and **he saw himself stare into those same green eyes feeling betrayal, "Why?" He asked. She looked at him and didn't answer, he must have zoned out because when he tuned back in she was speaking.**  
  
**"-I'm not the one who needs to watch their back." She proceeded to turn on her heel and walk away. He felt the urge to shake her by the shoulders violently and shout at her but he didn't know why.**  
  
**He wanted to scream and shout at her, how she was a traitor and ask her why she had done this to him.** The Asset didn't know what she had done to him for him to feel this way about her but it made him uneasy, he also felt grief warring with his anger but he would treat her as a threat. She was obviously dangerous and had clearly lied to him before, though he wasn't sure exactly when.  
  
Turning his gaze from the girl he looked to see if anyone had noticed his stupid mistake however everyone was focused in their own tasks and didn't seen to be paying any attention to him. He was grateful but also slightly disappointed, he recognised thay they were still quite young but he doubted any target they were sent after would care much for how old they were.  
  
When he finished scanning the room he caught the eye of the Soldier who raised a single eyebrow discreetly, he had caught onto the fact that the Asset was distracted but it was highly unlikely that he would inform the handler. Something had happened that now subconsciously stopped both Asset's from reporting malfunctions to the handler. Even thinking about it made the Asset want to curl into a ball and cry.  
  
The Asset answered the Soldier's unspoken question with a minute shake of the head. They both knew remembering was something that wasn't tolerated.  
  
The Soldiers eyes widened a fraction before he looked away and scanned the room. The two Soldiers silent conversation had happened in the span of a few seconds and discreetly enough that no-one had noticed.  
  
The Asset turned his gaze from the Soldier and started to, once again, pay attention to what was going on around him, though he never truly stopped during their silent conversation. He wasn't an amateur.  
  
The next few hours passed in a similar manner, the Asset and Soldier demonstrated a move for the group of girls before being asked to repeat it so the girls could get a good look at how to do it. The girls would then perform the move to the best of their abilities which sometimes was the exact way to do it, but sometimes the girl that performed the move would butcher it so badly the Asset wanted to take his mask off solely so they could see the sadness and disappointment he was hiding.  
  
Eventually, their part in the girls training was over and they were escorted back to their rooms.  
  
Crouching in the corner of his room the Asset wondered if he would be able to sneak into the Soldiers room to see him. But he had no way of knowing whether or not there handler or guards would enter his room searching for him. If they did and he wasn't there he would be severely punished.  
  
Closing his eyes the Asset wished that he had some way of knowing.  
  
All of a sudden he felt like he was no longer fully within his body. The Asset felt like he was travelling really fast, finally he came to a stop but what he saw confused him further. He was looking at his Soldier, handler, two guards and the pathways outside his and the Soldiers windows. The strangest thing though was that he could still feel his body.  
  
He could still move his physical body but he could also see what he wanted to if he thought of it hard enough.  
  
Currently his handler and guards were sleeping soundly, the grounds below the Asset and Soldiers windows were also free. Looking in on the Soldier the Asset could see that he had taken up a similar position to what the Asset had in his room.  
  
He wondered if he could sneak out and see the Soldier without anybody knowing, if what he was seeing was true then it was likely that he could. The Asset was antsy, he wished to go see the Soldier but was scared of the consequences if he was caught.  
  
In the end he couldn't take it anymore and walked carefully to the window and opened it carefully, he had felt the lock snap under his strength and hoped that no-one would notice. Lifting the glass up carefully the Asset paused for a minute, if what he was seeing _was_ security footage from the various cameras set up around the building he would be caught on them if he left the room.  
  
_"Not really."_ The Asset wanted to groan in frustration, the voice was back and just as annoying as ever. But... it had peaked his curiosity.  
  
**"What do you mean?"**  
  
_"I mean you can loop the cameras so that they don't record any new footage. To dumb it down for you, imagine the cameras playing the same piece if footage over and over again and it'll happen."_  
  
The Asset didn't really know what to think of what the voice had said, it sounded stupid to the Asset. Wishing for something as if it would magically will it to happen was ridiculous but lately, the Asset had found himself caring less and less for what was deemed 'ridiculous.'  
  
If it didn't end up working there wasn't much that the Asset could do about it but he was, stupidly, taking the risk.  
  
Willing for the cameras to play the same few seconds of footage over and over wasn't hard, but the deciding factor would be whether our not it had worked. Swinging a leg out of the window after giving himself the all clear the Asset slowly climbed out and clung to the wall.  
  
Carefully making his way along the wall the Asset kept one eye on the security feed that was somehow inside his head (if the voice was to be believed.) He couldn't see himself appear on any cameras and neither his handler or guards seemed to have awoken. Scaling across the wall the Asset climbed until he reached the one he had seen the handler take the Soldier into.  
  
The Asset slowly cling to the small ledge outside the window with one hand, braced his feet against the wall and knocked quietly on the window once. The knock would have been quiet enough that a normal person would dismiss it as a figure of their imagination but if it was the Soldoer in there he would certainly be looking to find out who it was.  
  
Nearly an entire minute later the Asset was feeling a little irritated with himself, he had gone to all this effort and his stupid self hadn't even bothered to memorise the right room window to knock on. His hands were starting to ache and the Asset was about to start making his way back when the window opened and the Soldier stuck his head out. His eyes widened almost comically before he wildly gestured to the inside of the room he was staying in , clearly telling the Asset to come in.  
  
Gratefully the Asset threw himself into the room, whilst lying on the ground on his stomach the Asset flexed his aching fingers. Sitting up he fumbled around with the mask and caught his fingers on the mechanism to open it, turning to the Soldier he patted the floor in front of him. The Soldier looked at him like he was crazy before shaking his head and sitting down where the Asset had asked him to. He had just taken off the Soldiers mask when he turned around and started shouting at the Asset.  
  
_"What the fuck are you doing? If you get caught handler will freak out, you'll be punished so harshly you won't be able to remember the fact that you're an Asset!"_  
  
_"I know but I was extra careful making my way over here, trust me no-one will know."_ The statement was pretty truthful, the Asset was keeping an eye on the security feed in his head and it didn't look like anyone had noticed his disappearance. He made a mental note to keep an eye on it, it would be better for both Soldiers if no-one found out about tonight.  
  
_"How do you know?"_  
  
_"Just trust me."_  
  
_"It's a stupid thing for you to ask of me, and I'm likely even stupider for saying that i will."_  
  
The Asset was grateful that the Soldier had that much trust in him, but truthfully the Asset didn't know what to do now that he was here, he had felt the urge to see the Soldier and had acted upon it with no real plan of what would happen once he got here. So for a minute or so there was only silence.  
  
_"What did you remember?"_  
  
_"What?"_  
  
_"When we were in that massive room in front of all those girls. What did you remember?"_  
  
The Asset didn't know how to reply to the question, mostly because he had forgotten about the incident himself and was surprised the the Soldier still remembered. _"One of the girls, I think I knew her. Or maybe she just reminded me of someone I once knew. But I was angry and sad with her. I felt so many emotions I don't really know how I felt if I'm being honest with you."_  
  
_"I don't know how you feel. I can't remember the least time I remembered but I think I was someone before all of this. Someone who meant something."_  
  
_"I think I had a life before this, before they took it from me. Or maybe me from it."_  
  
_"I had a name, but they took that too. Just like they take everything else."_  
  
_"Except this. I don't want them to take this from us."_  
  
_"They won't, I promise you."_  
  
The Asset knew it was foolish to believe in such promises, especially when the Soldier had no say over what their handler or his superiors decided to do. But he did.  
  
The Asset could feel the blood rushing to his neck and cheeks and decided to try and change the subject.  
  
_"You had a name before this? We should come up with a new one for you. One we can both remember so they we have one more thing that can't be taken from us."_  
  
_"What?"_  
  
_"A name. For you, a new one if you can't remember what it was."_  
  
_"I- I dont know. We aren't allowed names that weren't given to us. If handler finds out he'll punish us."_  
  
The Asset knew where the Soldier was coming from, but he had an idea. _"The handler never told us we couldn't."_  
  
_"What?"_  
  
_"Technically he never told us we couldn't have a name other than the names we were given. So you can have another name. We won't be breaking any rules. We just won't be telling handler because he'll never ask."_  
  
The Soldier looked like he was thinking hard about what the Asset had said. _"I guess you're right."_ The Soldier looked reluctant to admit it but the Soldier could hear the concealed excitement in his voice. Who wouldn't be happy to be getting a name? _"So what could my name be?"_  
  
_"I, don't know. But what's a good name for you. You need a good name for sure."_  
  
_"I don't know. I can't remember what name I used to have. And, what even makes a good name."_  
  
The Asset and Soldier spent over an hour thinking of names but none of them seemed to suit the Soldier. The Asset also made sure to keep a close eye on the cameras to make sure no-one had gone to check on him in his room.  
  
_"I don't know Asset. Maybe this just means we're not meant to have names other than the ones handler gave to us."_  
  
_"Hey! It's only been a little while! I'm sure it takes others **ages** to come up with names. We just have to think of some others."_  
  
The Soldier looked reluctant and didn't look like he believed the Asset but nodded anyways. _"What about... Yakov or maybe Yasha if you don't like it."_  
  
The Soldiers eyes glossed over and he looked like he wasn't in the room any longer but instead somewhere else. _"Soldier."_  
  
The Soldier seemed to snap out of his trance-like state and gave a small smile, _"Yes. I like it, Yasha I mean."_  
  
_"Really,"_ the Asset was filled with joy. He couldn't believe it! They had managed to find a name for the Sold- no Yasha. _"Yasha, it's a beautiful name and it really suits you."_ The Sold- Yasha flushed and diverted his eyes so he was looking at the floor instead of the Asset.  
  
_"Thank you,"_ Yasha's reply was shy and his voice quieter than the Asset had ever heard it. _"We should think of a name for you now."_ The Asset blinked in shock, he hadn't thought of giving himself a name, but he guessed it made sense to the Sol- Yasha.  
  
_"Uh... well yes but I- we don't have to do it right now, we could-"_  
  
_"Of course we should do it now. You helped me come up with a name for me that I really like and now we should find a name for you!"_ The Sol- Yasha exclaimed quietly, he was determined and the Asset didn't want to fight on the matter.  
  
_"What type of name do you think would suit me then?"_  
  
_"I... don't know. But that doesn't mean we won't find one for you!"_ The Asset felt his own cheeks heating up in embarrassment and turned his gaze away just like Yasha had done earlier.  
  
And so the Asset and Yasha spent another half an hour thinking of names for the Asset. But before they could speak any further on the matter the Asset felt the sudden urge to check on the cameras and felt his face drain of blood when he realised that one of the guards was heading toward his room, likely to check on him.  
  
_"I don't know, what about-"_  
  
_"I have to go,"_ the Asset sprung up from his position on the floor and leapt onto his feet.  
  
_"What- why?"_  
  
_"I need to go, I'll explain everything tomorrow night Sol- Yasha. I promise."_  
  
_"Okay, stay safe."_  
  
He quickly pulled his mask back on before opening the window once again and climbing out and back towards the room assigned to him. He wasn't worried too much about the Sol- Yasha, he had eventually taught him how to put the mask back on even though he still refused to learn how to take it off.  
  
Making his way back towards his assigned room in record time the Asset pulled up the window, clambered inside, managed to close the window and get back into position just as the door opened to reveal the guard. The Asset was out of breath but concealed it well. The guard simply scanned the room and once his eyes caught sight of the Asset he left.  
  
As the door closed behind him the Asset let out a breath he hadn't even known he had been holding. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter dont forget to comment.


	14. Secret Meetings

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so so so sorry, I once again forgot it was Monday. You guys are probably rolling your eyes at that excuse but it's TRUE.
> 
> Edit: 300 kudos thank you so much guys!!!

**Soldier/Yasha POV:**  
  
The Sold- Yasha watched the Asset climb out of the window and continued staring for a few minutes even after he had gone from sight. The Sold- Yasha let out a heavy sigh and closed the window, looking down at the mask on the floor he picked it up and stared at it in his hand.  
  
The Sol- Yasha pressed it to the lower half of his face and locked it back into place. Making his way back into the corner of his room he thought back to the first time the Asset had taken his mask off and later when he had taught the Soldier to put it back on when he had refused to learn how to take it off.  
  
The Sol- Yasha, he didn't know how to feel about that, about being Yasha. For so long he had been the Soldier that he didn't know how to feel about being Yasha. But technically he was still the Soldier just... Yasha as well. He still belonged to Hydra but now he just had a name that belonged only to him and the Asset.  
  
_Yasha_ was determined to come up with a name for the Asset, he had helped _Yasha_ find his name, and now he was determined to repay the favour.  
  
He had been surprised when the Asset had showed up outside his window, had been scared that they would be punished. But the Asset had reassured him that no-one would know, which is why when he had shot upright all of a sudden some time later and told Yasha that he had to go he had been so worried, but he trusted that the Asset knew what he was doing. Plus he had promised to tell Yasha what had happened next time, though he had no idea when next time was.  
  
Crouching in his corner Yasha spent his time thinking of suitable names for the Asset. Not a few minutes later the So- Yasha heard footsteps coming close, getting ready to attack or defend himself he sat tensely and watched the door closely. When the footsteps stopped outside his door, he sat muscles coiled and ready to attack. When the door opened the- Yasha recognised their guard and relaxed, the guard scanned the room and when he caught sight of Yasha he turned on his heel and left, closing and locking the door behind him. It must have been one of many checks to make sure that neither Winter Soldier had escaped.  
  
Thinking about it Yasha realised the guard had come from the direction of the Asset's room. If he had come from there and there had been no alarm raised it meant that the Asset had managed to make it back to his room in time, but the Soldier hadn't been able to hear the footsteps until they had started to approach his own room. Which meant that the Asset had somehow known that the guard was on his way before they had even been able to hear them approach.  
  
Yasha was confused, he didn't know how the Asset has known about the guards check in but it had peaked his curiosity and the thought wouldn't leave him be.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
The next day passed in a similar fashion to the one before. The Asset and Yasha were escorted to the same room as the day before, they once again demonstrated different moves for the girls and they repeated them. The two Soldiers then demonstrated another move, they copied it once again and it went on like that for however long their handler and the girl's instructor decided was long enough.  
  
When they were no longer needed they were then escorted back to their rooms and Yasha was now crouched in the corner of his room waiting for the Asset to appear - if he was going to today.  
  
A few hours later Yasha heard a faint knock once again at his window, he silently made his way over and checked who it was, seeing the Asset he let out a sigh of relief and opened it for him. As the Asset crawled into the room Yasha greeted him, "Hey."  
  
_"Hey Yasha, do you still like the name?"_ The Asset looked at Yasha curiously, he looked genuine in his enquiry. As if he would spend another hour sat on the floor thinking of more names for him if he decided he didn't want to be Yasha.  
  
_"Yes. I love the name, you don't have to worry."_ Looking at how genuine the Asset was Yasha felt something stir in him, he felt all funny in his stomach and he wanted to wrap the Asset up in his arms. Wrapping him up in his arms wouldn't do anything productive, but Yasha thought it would make him feel... happy. He felt the urge to do so but he didn't know how the Asset would react.  
  
Deciding to take the risk he slowly stepped towards the Asset, he saw him look confused and start to tense slightly. Stepping directly in front of the Asset Yasha lifted his arms and lightly wrapped them around the Asset. Loose enough that he could escape without any struggle but just tight enough to also be comforting.  
  
He could feel how tense the Asset was beneath his arms but he didn't make any move to try and escape or to try and attack Yasha. Resting his cheek on top of his head Yasha relaxed himself.  
  
After a minute or so he felt the Asset cautiously rest his cheek against his collarbone and slowly start to relax into the hold. For several minutes that was the position both Soldier's stood in, neither spoke, both just stood there and soaked in the comfort they provided. _"What is this?"_ The Asset eventually broke the silence with his question.  
  
_"Hmmm?"_  
  
_"What we're doing, what is it? I like it, it's very... nice. And comforting."_  
  
_"I don't know what it is, I just... felt like doing it. But I have to agree it is very comforting."_  
  
The Asset gave a light chuckle, _"I'm a bad influence on you,"_ at Yasha's confused look he carried on. _"Normally you would be telling me that we aren't allowed to want and that I should report to handler. But now it's you. Don't worry I don't think handler will mind."_  
  
Yasha started to worry, the Asset had a point, they weren't allowed to want and somehow the handler always knew. Maybe if he- _"Stop it Yasha,"_ the Asset reprimanded lovingly, " _no-one will tell him and they'll never find out, and before you interrupt. I promise you they won't find out, and if they do. I'll do my best to protect you, I swear."_  
  
Yasha was still worried but hearing the Assets reassurances he relaxed slightly. _"Oh! I just remembered, I wanted to ask you something. How did you know that there was a guard coming to check on us, I didn't hear him until he started heading towards my room and I'm curious about how you knew."_  
  
The Asset wouldn't look Yasha in the eye but did start talking, _"I... don't know how but somehow I'm able to see what's going on on the security cameras, and I'm also able to control them somehow."_ Yasha didn't know how to reply to what he had just been told, for a minute he did nothing but stand there in complete silence.  
  
The Asset's uneasy shifting was what managed to snap Yasha out of his shocked state. _"That's... AWESOME!"_ At Yasha's reply the Assey just looked even more confused.  
  
_"Wh- what?"_  
  
_"That's soooooo cool Asset. Even though you don't know how you do it. What else can you do?"_ Yasha was in awe of the Asset and what he had just told him, being able to control cameras was something that just blew his mind. He hadn't even known that it was something that you could do!  
  
_"I- I- thank you Yasha, I guess it is pretty cool. But I- um don't know if there is anything else i can do. So far seeing and controlling the cameras is all I can do I think."_  
  
_"That's still really cool though!"_  
  
Everytime Yasha complimented the Asset he noticed that he would blush and divert his eyes from Yasha's face if he had been looking at it. Everytime he did that, for whatever reason, it gave Yasha the tiniest bit of happiness and he wanted to do it over and over and over again. The reaction was something that Yasha wouldn't mind watching for the rest of his life.  
  
The thought made Yasha blush himself.  
  
Yasha thought that the Asset was beautiful, and now he was blushing even harder he wondered why, but the blush did nothing but make him even more handsome and oh... he was talking out loud wasn't he, that was embarrassing.  
  
_"Do you really think so?"_  
  
_"Huh?"_  
  
_"That I'm beautiful and handsome?"_  
  
_"Yes, I do. Really."_  
  
_"I... think your really pretty too."_  
  
Yasha could feel his heart soaring at the compliment as his cheeks flushed with embarrassment and happiness. But before he could reply the Asset was leaning his body against Yasha's and wrapping his arms around him once more, like they had done earlier. The action was comforting and Yasha had already lifted his arms and wrapped them around the Asset before he could remember what he was doing. The action was comforting and brought Yasha a lot of happiness.  
  
Thinking about it one of the things about the action that brought him happiness was the fact that he was doing it _with_ the Asset.  
  
Eventually the two Soldiers released each other and sat on the floor, though the Asset seemed intent in playing with Yasha's fingers. Neither spoke but Yasha was hard at work trying to come up with a name for the Asset, he had gone through plenty but. What about...  
  
_"Anton."_  
  
_"Huh? What... do you mean?"_  
  
_"Your name, do you like Anton? I've been thinking about it for a while and I'm_ _wondering if you would like it as a name."_  
  
Yasha could see that the Asset was thinking about it for a moment before he replied _"Yeh... yeh I like it. It's a pretty cool name. I- yeh I think I want it to be my name now. If there's no- I'm babbling I'll stop now. Shit, but yeh. Anton. It's a nice name, I like it."_  
  
Yasha let out a low whine, he liked listening to the Ass- Anton talk. His voice was soothing to listen to but Yasha looked away mortified by the fact he had _whined_. The Ass- Anton looked at him curiously seemingly surprised that he had made such a sound.  
  
The As- Anton snorted, and then started wheezing as he tried not to laugh loudly and give them away. _"It's- I- what was that?!"_  
  
Yasha looked away his cheeks tinted red, _"Nothing, stop laughing. I'm serious."_  
  
_"Of course, of course,"_ even as he said that the- Anton snorted uncontrollably. Even though Yasha was embarrassed by what he had done Anton's snorting and laughter filled him with joy, it was a beautiful sound to hear.  
  
Eventually he did stop laughing and dragged Yasha towards him and got comfortable by leaning against him and relaxing.  
  
Yasha could feel the tension leaving Anton's body.  
  
_"I don't want to go back,"_ Anton spoke so quietly that if it wasn't for Yasha's superior hearing he might have missed.  
  
_"Why?"_  
  
_"Because if we go back we won't be able to have moments like this anymore."_ Thinking about it he realised that Anton had a point, the only reason they were able to have these stolen moments was because the security here was nowhere near as tight as it was back at the base.  
  
He realised that this was likely the only time that he and Anton would be given such leniency in their missions and security. The last time he would be able to speak freely to him, speak his mind and tell Anton that he was important to Yasha and that he mattered and how pretty he was.  
  
_"One day... one day we'll get away from this place Anton, I promise. And when we do we won't have to hide, or be content with stolen moments."_  
  
Yasha felt Anton's breath hitch, _"Really, you promise?"_  
  
_"I promise,"_ even though he had no say over what might happen he knew that he would keep that promise no matter what. He would do anything to make Anton as happy as he was in that moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, please comment and once again sorry for the late update (technically it's still monday but you get what I mean.)


	15. Challenges And Mental Breakdowns

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have holidays!!!!! Yes. But only for a week so...
> 
> But I remembered it's Monday and your update us here

**Asset/Anton POV:**  
  
The next few weeks passed in a similar manner for Anton and Yasha - he still got giddy thinking of the fact that he and Yasha had names that hadn't been given to them by their superiors.  
  
Occasionally Anton also caught sight of the red haired - green eyed girl. Whenever he saw her he would always regain a snippet of his memories, he mostly ignored them though. Even if he was brave enough to disobey orders slightly (technically speaking it was never given as an order or rule) by giving himself and Yasha names that they hadn't been assigned. He wasn't anywhere near brave enough to disobey a direct order like not being given permission to remember.  
  
But the girl also peaked his curiosity, he wanted to know how he could possibly know her considering the fact that their handler would have refused to have brought Anton here in fear of him remembering. It was sadly something he likely wouldn't get the answer to either, he was too scared of telling his handler in case of punishment and he and Yasha would likely never find out either since they weren't given permission to remember.  
  
Currently he and Yasha were in another training session with the girls, over the course the few weeks they had been there Anton had seen a few of the girls die in fights. If they were too weak and unable to defend themselves properly it was encouraged and even praised for their opponent to kill them.  
  
As he thought about it he thought of how this kind of scene could be upsetting for someone not used to death and killing, but he and Yasha (and these girls as well likely) knew that it was simply survival of the fittest.  
  
There were no hard feelings or motivations of revenge. Simply the instinct to survive.  
  
And if some of the weaker people had to be stepped on and die, then it was no-ones fault and they would have likely died later on in the field. At least in this environment their death would be quick and relatively painless, whereas in the field with their inadequate skills they would be caught and die a slow, painful death. Throughout his years as Hydra's Winter Soldier he had grown numb to the the death and violence he saw.  
  
One thing he could still remember was the reluctance and guilt he had felt during one of his earlier missions, thinking about it now Anton didn't know why he had felt like that, just that he no longer felt that way. It was a good thing though that he learnt to forget caring because if he remembered and felt guilty for every one of his victims he would never be able to stop grieving. And that would make him a very useless weapon.  
  
A weapon that felt guilty for those they had killed, the thought made no sense to him. Because that would make him a very damaged weapon.  
  
Snapping out of his thoughts Anton found his eyes drifting to the red haired girl once again, something about her kept drawing his attention to her. Maybe it was because he regained memories when looking at her (it certainly played a part) or maybe it was the way she fought. Anton could see the way she fought, she was quick and deadly but she was full of herself. And if she didn't learn to keep her ego under control it would be her downfall. She had every reason to have an ego; she was talented, she learnt quickly, she had beaten every opponent so far and she was beautiful. All great qualities for a spy/assassin to have but... she was starting to assume she was the best. And compared to the other girls she just might have been. But the world was a big place and there was almost certainly someone bigger and stronger in it.  
  
Anton wasn't trying to undermine the girl, but it wouldn't do well to see such talent die because no-one had taught her to be more cautious.  
  
Even whilst thinking these thoughts Anton saw her take out yet another opponent. The thing with becoming sure of yourself was that it often led to you becoming sloppy. You became convinced that nothing could touch you which is why it always felt surreal being yanked back down to earth and being reminded that no, you weren't the best there is. Anton had a feeling that this had happened to him before Hydra.  
  
'Shit, gotta stop doing that.' He had to stop getting so lost in his thoughts.  
  
Many of the lessons before this one had passed in a similar manner, which is why he was surprised to see the red haired girl and their instructor conversing, and even more surprised when she walked over to their handler and started whispering with him. Their handler glanced over to them before he let out a sigh, shrugged his shoulders and leant back in his chair. The girl walked over towards him and Yasha.  
  
_"How would you like to spar with me?"_ Anton was shocked at the question, he couldn't think of a reason why she could possibly want to fight with either of them. Yes she was a good fighter, but with only the few weeks training she was still an amateur, but he knew better than to speak out of turn. Instead he and Yasha shared a glance before turning to look at their handler, when he saw them looking at him he waved his hand dismissively, "Go on, fight with the girl I don't care. Just don't look like fools." Don't make me look bad is what that meant.  
  
Giving a firm nod both of them turned back to the girl and her instructor and stood at attention, even though there was a high chance of both of them beating the girl she wasn't an Asset or Soldier meaning that she was (probably) higher in power than him and Yasha.  
  
_"I want to fight him,"_ she pointed at him, even if he thought she was a bit of an idiot for wanting to fight them he had to admit she was a bit smarter picking Anton with his smaller frame. Even though he knew he could likely come out on top of this fight he wasn't stupid enough to think he would definitely win this fight, there was always a chance that he would be beaten and if he was cautious it meant that he was still alert and wary. And that meant he would pay more attention to her movements and attacks.  
  
_"Okay, Natalia. You should be careful."_  
  
Ah, so the fight hadn't been her idea. That peaked Anton's curiosity, he couldn't think of a reason she might volunteer to fight them. Ultimately it didn't matter, she wanted to fight and their handler hadn't objected, it wasn't like he or Yasha could argue.  
  
The instructor led him and the girl out of the room (after the handler had given the go ahead of course) they entered a room a few doors down, it was identical to the one they had come from except smaller. There was a single mat in thre middle of the room.  
  
_"You will spar on that mat, the winner is whoever knocks the other unconscious."_ What was it with the handlers (and instructors) wanting them to knock the other unconscious in order to win.  
  
Regardless of why they wanted them to do what they said she gave no other instructions so Anton made his way over and slid into his fighting stance. The girl stood opposite him in a similar stance but immediately he could see that her legs weren't far enough apart and her hands were a little too low.  
  
Normally it wouldn't have been noticeable enough for someone to take advantage of those facts but he had been trained to spot any and all weaknesses. It was also likely why she hadn't been corrected on it. A minute difference but it would make all the difference.  
  
_"Start!"_  
  
The girl immediately darted forward trying to get under his defence but he held steady, when she was within arms reach he dropped his arms and grabbed her arm as she tried to strike. He twisted it behind her back and knocked her feet out from under her. Even on her knees he continued putting strain on her shoulder, he did it until he felt it pop out of the socket. The girl let out a scream of pain and started struggling which did nothing except hurt her more.  
  
Anton decided to put her out of her misery and with a hard hit to the temple she was out. The fight had been _a lot_ quicker thanhe had thought it would have been.  
  
He let her fall limp and stepped away, standing straight with his hands behind his back. The instructor looked a little disgruntled but unsurprised. She walked to the door and called out to someone, a moment later two men entered and carried the girl out, Anton was then taken back to the room he first came from.  
  
Entering he saw Yasha's eyes dart to the door and them dart back, Anton could read the relief in his eyes, they both had a vague idea of what would have happened if he had lost. It wouldn't have been pretty.  
  
He was still confused on why she had wanted to fight him, from what he could recall of their first day here the instructor had heavily implied that the girls knew who they were and if they knew that surely they should have known how dangerous they were. Even now the remaining girls were whispering among themselves, wondering what had happened to their, friend? They didn't seem to know whether or not she was dead or not, in this type of environment he couldn't blame them. It didn't seem to bother many people when one of their fellow trainees died, they didn't seem to mind killing them themselves.  
  
Thinking deeper about it he realised just how much of this place didn't seem to make sense. Firstly, what was the point of killing off assets, yes they were getting rid of dead weight early on but if they just spent a little more time on them they would be just as deadly as the rest. They would have even more deadly assassins/spys.  
  
Anton shook himself out of his thoughts, it didn't matter what he thought, if the superiors thought this was the best method then it likely was. He wasn't there to ask questions, he wasn't meant to do anything but what he was told. It didn't matter if he-  
  
"Alright that's all for today, Asset, Soldier come." He was nothing but an Asset.  
  
He hadn't even realised he was following his handler until he heard the door shut behind him. He felt lost and he didn't know what to do, he didn't matter unless it was to kill or train more killers. He and the Soldier- the Soldier! He could talk to the Soldier, he might know what was wrong with him, why he was feeling the way he was.  
  
He waited until it was dark, and focusing on the cameras he could see that there was no-one there. He snuck his way to the Soldiers room, pit in his stomach he knocked lightly on the window. The Sold- Yasha, shit that was what he wanted to be called wasn't it. Yasha opened the window for him, clambering inside he sat on the floor and stared at the mask in his hands he hadn't even realised he had taken off.  
  
_"I don't know what to do Yasha."_  
  
_"What do you mean Anton?"_ Oh yeah, Anton. That was what he had wanted to be called wasn't it. He had forgotten about that. He felt lost and scared and he didn't know what to do.   
  
_"All we do is kill, and all we're doing now is training even more killers. I'm just... tired."_ He didn't want this.  
  
The- Yasha looked worried he made his way over and sat down, _"What are you tired of?"_  
  
_"Everything, of killing, of fighting just everything. I just want to rest."_ He could feel something wet slide down his cheeks but wiping away them just spread the wetness everywhere.  
  
He felt Yasha guide his head to the crook of his shoulder and gently wrapped one hand around him and stroked his back with the other. _"Everything will be okay, I promise."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So honestly I feel that the mental breakdown was going to happen sooner or later so yeh, I dunno I just feel like that shit would happen to one of them but at least they have each other there to comfort them.
> 
> Also if you're curious on why natasha challenged Tony its because from what I can remember from the comics the way they were raised in the red room they were kinda brainwashed not the same way as Bucky or Tony but you get what I mean, so I can see natasha wanting to prove her skills by challenging one of the soldiers even if it's not the smartest idea. Plus she is really good just not Super Soldier good
> 
> Also dont forget to comment I absolutely love reading them bo matter what


	16. December 16th 1991

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like on going to have lots of confused readers in the comments after this chapter.

**Anton POV:**  
  
Anton was sat on the floor of his room, he had just came back from Yasha's room feeling a little better but not much. Yasha had told him everything would be okay but it didn't feel like that for him. It felt like everything was bad and would never get better.  
  
He just wanted to stay in Yasha's arms forever, it was where he felt safest and where he was the happiest.  
  
But he knew that sooner or later reality would catch up and their moment would have been shattered eventually. Anton could do nothing but stare at the carpet, dulled with age and not as vibrant as it had once been. He felt a little like that carpet, used too often and not looked after nearly enough. He wondered if Yasha ever felt this way.  
  
Anton got lost in his thoughts and did nothing but stare and stare at the unloved carpet.  
  
Before he knew it light was streaming into the room and his handler had entered to escort him to the training room. Anton felt numb he just followed instructions without thought; his body moved on autopilot he wasn't even conscious of what he was doing anymore, he felt himself walk, he felt the cool breeze on his skin and the ache in his fingers that always came whenever he went to see Yasha. He heard the distant rumble of Yasha's voice, he heard the louder mumble of his reply. He felt the heat of Yasha's body and the movements of his mouth moving whilst it was buried in his hair. He knew that he was being comforted but he wasn't fully in control of his body to enjoy it. He felt the slight panic at seeing the guard doing his nightly check-ins and the bricks under his fingers as he climbed back to his room. The relief when he left and the loneliness of the night.  
  
Anton didn't know how long he was like this for, it could have been hours, weeks or even years but he didn't know how long. The numbness was overwhelming and every second felt like a million.  
  
At some point Anton felt the cold night air on his skin but it wasn't accompanied by the familiar ache in his fingers, he felt cool metal wrap around his wrists and ankles and the sound of an engine starting up. He could feel the vibrations and hear it sputter.  
  
Where were they going? Was it back to the Hydra base they were at before?  
  
If Anton could bring himself to take back control of his body from - whatever it was he likely could but. He was so tired. And this was so peaceful. No worrying about missions, about who he had just killed, just him and his thoughts in the here and now.  
  
He felt himself being pushed down on a table and being strapped in. Felt needles slide under his skin and could feel the weird sensation of there being too much in his veins. He felt even more drowsy than before. And a little sick.  
  
The straps were eventually stripped off of him and he could feel himself being half-dragged towards something. His feet dragged across the floor but still he couldn't bring himself to the forefront of his mind. He didn't know what was wrong, he was a passenger in his own body, except this passenger couldn't see anything either.  
  
He had stopped being dragged and was shoved forward, he could feel cool metal under his fingers and the way his hair stood up in the cold of whatever he was. Anton could feel his body turn around and his arm start to raise. It came into contact with even more cool metal, it was all around him.  
  
As the temperature of the air around him dropped Anton realised where he was, in his cryo chamber. As the air continued to cool he slowly regained control of his body from whatever had been in the driver's seat this entire time. The last thing he saw before his eyes closed and froze shut from the cold was the metal walls of the chamber and the face of a scientist peering through the little glass slot.  
  
He felt his heart slow down, blood trudging slowly through his veins. The way his body started to feel numb as everything focused on keeping him alive.  
  
Time seemed to slow down and speed up, bursts of fast speech before it slowed down so much it became impossible to make out. Then there were stretches of silence where Anton worried about being forgotten here, frozen for eternity.  
  
The silence though gave Anton time to think, think about how he felt and what he could do.  
  
He knew that he no longer wanted to do what he did, didn't want to kill for Hydra anymore. So he decided that he wouldn't, the next time they sent him and Yasha out on a mission he would use the opportunity to escape. He would do it with Yasha or wouldn't do it at all, together or not at all, leaving Yasha behind wasn't an option for Anton.  
  
Left in silence and cold for minutes or maybe even years again Anton made his plan to escape. They would complete the mission (it would be their last one) and start to make their way back, but neither Soldier would ever make it back. He knew about the tracking chips in their arms, he knew where they were and how to get rid of them. The only thing that might cause problems for them would be the fact that they wouldn't know where the mission would be taking place.  
  
That wouldn't stop them though, he was determined to escape with Yasha. He knew that lately Yasha had been conflicted about the orders they had been receiving, and since they hadn't been in the chair for the longest time since the beginning Anton's thoughts had never been clearer. He knew what he was doing would be wrong but the fear had kept them from rebelling. Even now the thought of what he was about to do filled him with fear.  
  
He kept second guessing himself, if this was really the right thing to do but, he didn't want to do this anymore and he knew that Yasha didn't either.  
  
Anton plotted and planned their escape for when they would be sent out again.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
 **???**  
  
Anton didn't know how long it had been but when he came too once again he was strapped down to a table and there were voices arguing.  
  
"- There's not enough time. If we do it now there won't be enough time for them to recover."  
  
" Yes but they'll still carry out the mission."  
  
"Obviously but you send them out straight after that and you're risking a very high chance of them either failing or getting caught."  
  
"This is an opportunity we can't miss, who knows when this opportunity will present itself to us again."  
  
Anton was confused, he didn't know what they were on about. Clearly they were to complete a mission but why were they arguing about whether or not they would be able to complete it.  
  
He felt his breath stutter. Had they somehow found out about Anton's plan to escape? How how how how how? He never should have even though if running away, he could just imagine his punishment. He heard the door open and the voice of his handler speak up.  
  
"Stop arguing you idiots. Even if we wiped them there's still a chance the Soldier would recognise his target," Anton felt his breaths ease. They hadn't found out but, Yahsa knew the targets? "We can't afford for him to snap out of his programming halfway through the mission. Which is why we'll be using his trigger words. They should keep him from snapping out of it for long enough until we can properly wipe them afterwards." Anton heard the mutters of agreement. But if the words were used it put a wrench in his plans, he wouldn't have any chance to escape since he would be forced to obey orders to the letter.  
  
Anton resigned himself to the fact that their escape wouldn't take place this time, but he was determined for it to take place soon. He opens his eyes and waited for his handler to notice.  
  
"Ahhh Asset, good to see you awake. We have a mission for you and the Soldier." Their handler walked over and released the cuffs strapping him down, standing up he noticed that his handler had already made his way to Yasha and was releasing him as well. Yasha stood up as soon as he was free and stood at attention.  
  
Before they had been informed of the mission their handler walked to the front and pulled out a red book with a black star on it. Seeing the book froze the Asset and he could already feel himself becoming compliant, the book and the words in it terrified him, he was scared of what they could do. Of what they could make him do.  
  
The handler started reciting their words and he felt his mind go blank and his back straighten. The Asset stood tall with the Soldier.  
  
 _"Ready to comply."_  
  
Anton looked on from where he had been shoved at the back of his mind.  
  
"Your mission is to eliminate Howard Stark and retrieve the package that is in the trunk of his car. If there are any other witnesses or passengers they are to be taken care of as well. Understood?"  
  
 _"Yes sir."_  
  
Howard Stark. Something about that name stirred a memory up but since he was no longer in charge the memory was shoved down and he wasn't able to see it.  
  
Throughout the entire mission briefing he paid attention in case anything important came up. But nothing other than the location, model of the car, picture of the target and package was shown. He knew that a few miles south of where their mission was taking place was their rendezvous point and that a few miles north was a small town. A days walk east was a large city. But a two weeks walk through the forest on the west was a major port that was still in use. A few hundred ships passed through it each day and if he had still been in charge that was where he would have had him and Yasha escape to.  
  
Not even an hour later he had been dressed up in his tac gear but looking at the Soldier - because that was the Soldier and not Yasha - he felt confusion as his face was left unmasked.  
  
"It'll be nice to taunt the bastard, have one of his friends from the war to be the one to kill him don't you think, be the last face he sees before he dies," the handler and the others started to laugh. He wondered what the man had done to annoy them this much.  
  
Not long after they set out on their way, the van was parked a few miles away from their destination and him and the Soldier walked the last few miles staying out of sight. Reaching their positions they settled down on top of a small slope, the Soldier laid down on his stomach sniper rifle pointing down towards the road.  
  
It was a few hours later that they heard the rumble of a cars engine approach, the car of their target drove into sight and not a second later the Soldier pulled the trigger. The tire blew out and the driver careened into a nearby tree. Standing up they made their way down the slope towards the target, peering inside he could see that the target was still alive and that the passenger was as well.  
  
Something about the woman stirred up something inside the Asset and a memory wrenched itself free. **The Soldier- no, Yasha was being pummeled into the ground. _"He killed my mom."_** The woman was the reason that Yasha was suffering in his memory. He couldn't let that happen, if he couldn't take Yasha away from this place and let him live happily then he could at least stop from suffering like in his memory because of the woman.  
  
Before anyone knew what was happening Anton shoved himself to the front of his mind and took back control of his body. He walked over towards the woman sat in the passenger seat. "Howard," she cried out for the man and sobbed a little. Anton reached his hand through the cracked glass of the window to wrap his fingers around her throat. He squeezed tightly and he could see her struggle to breathe, how her eyes bulges slightly and then how her chest stopped rising and falling.  
  
Once he had killed her Anton felt the Asset take back over, he was confused about what had just happened but made his way over towards the drivers side to finish the mission but Yasha had just finished killing him. Anton could see where he had punched the mans face with his metal arm and with a surprising amount of care the Soldier lifted him and placed him back in the car resting the targets face on his steering wheel.  
  
The Soldier made his way towards the back of the car and opened the trunk, inside he fished out a silver briefcase. Turning around the Asset saw a flash of light and looking towards it he found... a camera. Pulling out his handgun he walked in front of it and shot it, he would have to inform his handler of the mistake so it could be taken care of.  
  
Looking over he saw that the Soldier was done and started to make his way back towards the rendezvous point. Anton could do nothing but watch himself and Yasha walk back towards Hydra when he wanted to do nothing more than escape. To make their way there they walked along a slow flowing river heading in the same direction.  
  
After about 3 hours of trekking Anton felt that something was wrong. Turning around the last thing he saw before he blacked out was Yasha's metal fist racing towards his temple.  
  
  
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 **Yasha's POV:**  
  
Yasha looked down at the unconscious body of the Asset and hoped that when he woke up again it would be Anton and not Hydra's puppet that they had planted within their minds.  
  
Scanning his surroundings he found a good spot to bury the case he had taken from the targets car.  
  
 **He had been punching the man in the face, he had to be eliminated. "Sergeant- Sergeant Barnes." Barnes? Who- who was that? Why was the target calling him that? Was that him? Did they know each other? If- if they did he had to stop. He- he _couldn't_ kill him. He _knew_ this man. He knew that he knew him but he didn't know _how_. But he was important to Yasha, he had to stop but... oh. He was dead. He had killed him. HE HADN'T MEANT TO! He didn't want to! But the man was dead now and he had been important to Yasha and now he wouldn't know why.**  
  
 **He gently picked the man up and sat him back down in the seat, slowly resting his head against the steering wheel.**  
  
He dug up the dirt and buried the case. He had knocked Anton out and he hadn't thought this out all the way. What was he going to do now. They had trackers in their arm, their handler would know they were on their was but would be wondering why they had stopped. He had waited until the Asset had stopped paying such close attention to the Soldier before he had attacked but he didn't know what to do now.  
  
He could do nothing but sit and wait, hoping that he would wake up soon and that it would be Anton that greeted Yasha and not the Asset.  
  
Not even 10 minutes later he stirred and golden brown eyes scanned their surroundings, they tried to focus on something. Yasha realised might have hit him a bit too hard.  
  
Brown eyes finally found Yasha's icy blue-grey ones, "Yasha?"  
  
Yasha could feel himself releasing a breath and his muscles relaxing. "Yeh, it's me."  
  
"What happened?" Anton shakily sat up and looked around the unfamiliar surroundings, he couldn't seem to recognise anything.  
  
"We were on a mission, we completed it but... I knew him Anton. The man I killed I _knew_ him Anton. And I killed him and... I can't go back, but they had used the words and you were blindly following orders and you wouldn't have let me leave so I- I kind of knocked you out to try and snap you out of it."  
  
"I guess I should say thank you then, I don't want to go back either, and I have a plan come here. Do you know how long we've been in this one spot?" Anton gestured for Yasha to come sit in front of him.  
  
Yasha made his way over to Anton and sat down in front of him, he didn't even struggle when he took his arm and opened it up, "About 10-15 minutes no longer. What are you doing?"  
  
"Okay good, it hasn't been that long then. As for what I'm doing, I'm taking out the tracking chips that are in out arms. We can throw them in the river, the river will carry them down and make it seem like we're still coming back whilst we make our getaway. And whilst I'm doing that I'll also take out the chip that electrocutes us every time the handler pushes the button on that remote, we don't need to fall down and start convulsing in pain whilst we try to make our getaway."  
  
Yasha looked at Anton in shock, he was so clever. He had had no idea how he would take out the trackers, and he had completely forgotten about the fact they could be electrocuted at any time if their handler wished it, it was such a small thing but it was something that would ultimately determine whether or not they would have been found and how long they would have to get away. "Man I had no idea on how to take them out, I didn't really think this all the way through did I?"  
  
Anton gave a small chuckle as he pulled out a small silver chip from Yasha's arm and disconnected the wires connecting the machine that conjured up the electrical pulses to the rest of the arm before closing it back up and starting to work on his own. "You might not have thought this all the way through but you did the right thing knocking me out, if you hadn't we would both be making our way back into Hydra's arms right now." Pulling out a silver disk identical to the one in Yasha's arm Anton threw them into the river.  
  
"Anton, if we trek west for two weeks we'll find a large port, it'll be the last place they'll think to look for us. They'll think we'll stick to the small towns so we won't be seen but we can smuggle ourselves onto a ship and be on the other side of the world before they knew it."  
  
"Exactly what I was thinking Yasha, we can hunt for food and we can have some water now from the river. We'll stay in the forest for as long as we can and avoid any major roads and cameras."  
  
"You can do that thing with the cameras can't you?" Yasha thought back to when they were training those girls, how Anton would sneak into his room and they would talk.  
  
"What thing with the cameras?" Anton looked at him with confusion. Could he not remember?  
  
"Remember when you used to sneak out to see me? When we were training those girls? You told me you used to do something with the cameras and that how you never got caught."  
  
Realisation lit up Antons eyes and he nodded frantically, "yeh, yeh you're right. I can't believe I forgot about that. We should be on our way though, before anyone has a chance to realise what's happened."  
  
Turning west Yasha and Anton started their trek to freedom.  
  
  
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 **Handler's POV:**  
  
The Winter Soldier's Handler was waiting at the rendezvous point for two of Hydra's prized Assets to return when a technician called him over. He walked over impatiently, "What?"  
  
"Both of the Soldiers have stopped walking for some reason."  
  
The Handler felt his irritation at the technician rise, "And? They're probably just taking care of a few loose ends. Don't call me over for stupid shit that can't be explained away with more than a second of using your damn brain. Look, they're already moving again back towards the camp. Fucking idiot."  
  
The camp they had set up had been right next to the river, if they had to get rid of anything it would be easy enough to just throw it there where it would be carried out to sea and lost forever. "Oh and since they've started to make their way back call in the clean up crew. They'll get rid of any evidence left behind and make sure the unit that gets sent in is ours."  
  
For hours the Handler and his team stayed by the river bank searching for signs of the Soldier's and when there was no sight of them they grew antsy and started to fidget.  
  
"Um sir?"  
  
"WHAT!" The handler was on edge and roared at the technician, it was the same idiot as before and if he told him one more _useless_ thing _he_ was going to end up in that river.  
  
"The- the programme that locates the tracking signals from the chips in the Assets arms says that- well that they're already here sir."  
  
The Handler felt himself freeze before he made his way over to stand next to the technician, "Show me," he demanded.  
  
As he pointed to the screen and pointed out what everything meant the Soldiers Handler could feel the blood draining from his face as he watched the blinking red dots blink right by their camp. Looking closely be realised that the dots were, right on top of the river.  
  
Running over towards the river and peering inside he caught a glimpse of silver before he screamed in anger.  
  
"Get everyone out here! The Soldiers have escaped and we need to find them! Everything gets searched, I don't care if you have to search under every damn speck of dirt you're going to find them do you understand!"  
  
"Yes sir!" Everyone scrambled to their stations and reported what had happened requesting for all the help they could get.  
  
The Winter Soldier's Handler sat himself down in his seat and seethed. He plotted his punishment for them and he knew that when he got his hands on them they wouldn't even remember how to stand.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes. I did just do that and no I wont tell you guys why.


	17. Freedom

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> IM SO SORRY

**Anton POV:**  
  
Anton giggled as the port came into sight, they had been free for two weeks. _Two entire weeks._ He had never felt so happy, whilst trekking through the forest he and Yasha survived on nothing but animals they caught and berries they found. The first time he and Yasha had eaten they had puked up so violently that he had wanted to curl into a ball and die.  
  
He realised that they had never been fed food, it had always been liquid nutrients, vitamins and whatnot. Their stomachs weren't used to solid foods and they had learnt to eat the berries in small portions and to slowly make their way back up to meat and eventually full meals. Even now they could only eat berries and a small amount of meat before they puked up again but neither of them was complaining.  
  
_"I can't believe we've done it. We actually escaped."_ Anton was a little surprised by the Russian but understood that no-one here needed to hear their conversation.  
  
_"I know, I still feel like it's a dream. That I'm going to wake up back **there** any minute now."_  
  
_"I feel the same way, but we won't. We've gotten away now and they won't get us back without a fight."_ Just hearing those words, we've escaped, freedom felt almost too good to be true.  
  
Scanning the port Anton spotted a few ships that would make for good transport, just thinking about it made him feel giddy. He and Yasha had escaped, they were free and could do what they wanted without fear of punishment. _"So, where do you want to go? There's Peru, Romania or maybe you want to go to Italy. We can travel the world Yasha, go wherever we want."_  
  
And that was what they did, Yasha and Anton both decided that Italy would be a wonderful place to go and honestly getting on board the ship and stowing themselves away was so easy it was laughable. But then again the crew members hadn't been expecting (and hadn't even heard of) Hydra's Winter Soldiers, so really they couldn't be blamed. And it's not as if either of them were complaining.  
  
Yasha and Anton moved silently throughout the ship during the night, stealing small amounts of food that wouldn't be noticed and hiding away where they wouldn't be found. During the day they slept and regained their energy but even during their travel neither stopped training. They would spar and train silently during the night, normally near the engine room where the thumps and grunts were lost amongst the noise of the engines. They had memorised the crews schedules and always left long before anyone came to patrol near them.  
  
It took the ship 13 days to reach Italy with two stops along the way. Each time the ship stopped along the way he and Yasha snuck out to stretch their legs and admire the scenery, the places they stopped at were beautiful.  
  
But Italy. Italy was something else entirely.  
  
It was beautiful and homely and Anton felt like staying there forever. But he knew that they couldn't, staying in one place for too long was too risky and would put them in danger of getting found and caught. Maybe one day they could come back and visit, he wondered how much it would have changed by then.  
  
They had decided to stay in Italy for 10 days before they stowed away onto another ship and change countries. Anton wanted to see all the sights that they were able to before they had to leave. Throughout their stay in Italy he and Yasha had solely spoken Italian so that they didn't stand out, and Anton had to admit that Yasha speaking Italian was incredible and he sounded amazing.  
  
At the end of their 10 days Anton was reluctant to departure but knew better than to argue, it was for their own safety.  
  
_"So, where to now Giacomo?_ " For their stay in Italy they had taken on the Italian counterparts for their names, and Anton had to admit that calling Yasha Giacomo was fun since he found it oddly cute how Yasha seemed to forget for a split-second before he turned around to answer. Yasha's confused face was rivalled only by that of a puppy's.  
  
_"I don't know Antonio, how about... Germany. That's meant to be a nice country, and nothing but the best for us wouldn't you say?"_  
  
Anton did nothing except let out a small giggle at Yasha's antics. Ever since they had freed themselves he had noticed that Yasha was a lot more carefree, he was still cautious and attentive of his surrounding (he didn't think that either of them would ever drop that habit) but he was no longer hesitant to laugh or speak. Now that they talked to each other more Anton realised just how funny Yasha was. He constantly cracked jokes that never failed to get a laugh out of him.  
  
_"Germany? Sure, why not."_ Scanning the port Anton spotted a ship heading towards Germany, _"Looks like we've found our ride."_  
  
It was no problem at all for either of them to sneak their way on, honestly their safety precautions were laughable, but it wasn't like they were complaining. Just criticising.  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
Docking in Germany filled Anton with joy, he would be able to see and explore an entirely new culture and way of life. It was something that fascinated him, that on one world there were so many different ways people lived their lives, so many different things that were considered 'normal' and so many different versions of 'normal' for everybody.  
  
He knew that his life was 'normal' for him and Yasha but for other people they would likely look at them horrified, either by what they did or what was done with them. In his weeks of freedom Anton and Yasha had learned that what wad done to them was wrong and actually illegal. Though they would never get any type of authorities involved it provided them with a small comfort that what was done to them was looked down on and seen as wrong. They didn't wish what happened to them to happen to anybody else.  
  
When night fell and they snuck off the ship Anton gasped in delight at the beautiful scene they were presented with, everything was so beautiful that if Anton could he would also live there forever. It wasn't fair at all that there were so many beautiful countries in the world.  
  
_"Yasha."_  
  
_"Yes, Anton?"_  
  
_"Do you think it's possible to visit every country in the world? Because I **really, really, really** want to."_  
  
_"I have no idea if it's possible, but we can certainly try."_  
  
_"Yes!"_ Anton couldn't wait to visit other countries but for now he focused on the beauty of Germany.  
  
  
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Sweden, Hong Kong, Iceland, Greenland, Greece, France, Japan, UK, Russia, Egypt, Turkey. These were all countries that Anton and Yasha had visited as well as many more. But right now the former Hydra Assassins were in Romania and Anton had to say that it was definitely one of his favourite countries so far. The people, culture, food, everything about this place was something that Anton loved.  
  
It had been about a year now since he and Yasha had freed themselves from Hydra's clutches and they had never been happier. He and Yasha were what people called 'dating' now, Anton still remembers how confused he had been when he first saw a couple kiss, and how much more confused he had been when Yasha had done it to him.  
  
**It had been a warm day and they were currently in Iceland, Yasha had just come back from shopping and Anton opened his eyes to let the cameras in the vicinity return to normal. They had been free from Hydra's clutches for almost four months and they had only grown closer together since then.**  
  
**Lately though Anton realised that whenever Yasha was near him, like _really_ near, he would get all warm and tingly and it felt like when he wanted a hug from Yasha but more. And when they had gone out yesterday Anton had seen a boy and a girl put their lips on each other, he didn't know why but they looked like they had enjoyed it. People were weird.**  
  
**Yasha had just finished putting the groceries away when he took his shirt off, both he and Yasha were muscular from their time spent with Hydra, and they hadn't stopped training since they left. Yasha was beautiful though, and when he took his shirt off and showed off his muscles Anton could only stare.**  
  
**_"What? It's warm."_ Yasha had been grumpy because of the heat, but it did nothing except make him seem even more adorable.**  
  
**_"I know, it's just. You're so beautiful Yasha."_ Anton hadn't planned on saying that but it had felt right, and seeing the way Yasha turned red was worth it. **  
  
**He didn't know what had happened but the next thing he knew was that he was being crowded up against the wall by Yasha and he was putting his lips on Anton's. Like they had seen yesterday with the boy and girl.**  
  
**And oh, he could see why they had looked like they had enjoyed it, it was very nice. It felt good and Anton could feel himself relax a little. Yasha pulled back after a minute, small smirk on his lips, _"I think you're quite beautiful too."_**  
  
That had been a little over 8 months ago and Anton had learnt since then that what they did was called kissing. And that if two people really liked each other they could start 'dating' each other and be each others boyfriend and girlfriend, which Anton thought was silly because, well he wasn't a girl and neither was Yasha! So they couldn't be boyfriend and _girlfriend_ , but Yasha had suggested being _just_ boyfriends. Two of them, and that they could date and call each other their boyfriend.  
  
They had been living in Romania for almost a month now at this point and they still hadn't been found by Hydra, not once.  
  
Even though it settled them slightly and let them feel a little safer neither he or Yasha let their guard down but he had to admit they had grown comfortable where they were.  
  
Currently Anton and Yasha were laying in bed cuddling, Yasha let off so much heat he was like a furnace and Anton loved it.  
  
That was another thing Anton had learnt, that there were things he could love and it was something he was allowed to do and wouldn't be punished for. Since then he had found out that he loved lots of things, for example he loved it when Yasha gave him cuddles, kisses and hugs. He also loved fruits, especially if they were sweet, and taking walks in the sun.  
  
He also enjoyed sitting in the windowsill and watching people, he liked making stories up for them and guessing where they were going or what they did for work.  
  
Looking at Yasha's face which was only ever this relaxed in sleep he realised how lucky he was to have escaped Hydra with Yasha, he realised that he loved Yasha.  
  
Hey, he loved Yasha! He was going to tell Yasha that, _"Hey Yasha. Yasha. Yasha wake up! I need to tell you something!"_  
  
Yasha let out the cutest groan ever as he peeled open his eyes, _"What Anton?"_  
  
_"I love you."_  
  
Yasha did nothing except look mildly unimpressed with Anton, that really hadn't been the reaction he had been expecting and he curled into himself a little  
  
_"I should hope so but whatever, I love you too. Now let me get back to sleep."_  
  
Anton felt elated, Yasha knew he loved him and now Yasha had told him that he loved him as well. But he had to agree with Yasha, sleep did take priority over a lot of things and was likely the only thing that would come close to beating his love for Yasha. And maybe his love for food but they could worry about that later if they had to.  
  
  
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**Omniscient POV:**  
  
_~Sometime after their escape~_  
  
Somewhere far away Hydra seethed in anger at their lost Assets, the package that had been retrieved by them on their last mission had been found. Howard Stark's Super Soldier Serum was very good, not as good as the original but they hadn't expected it to be.  
  
Hydra had picked out five of their best fighters and injected them with the serum after six months of searching for the Winter Soldiers and there being no results. Unfortunately they had become violent and refused to listen to orders so it had become impossible to train them, they had originally planned for the first two Soldiers to have trained the others but that was no longer possible so they had been put on ice until further notice.  
  
After a nine months of no results the Soldiers handler had effectively been fired, they had given him enough money to live comfortably - the good work he did for Hydra couldn't be denied - but it wasn't as much as he would have gotten if he had managed to not lose the Winter Soldiers.  
  
They had only just figured out that the first place they had gone to had been Italy, but that data was over a year old but with no other leads Hydra was forced to sniff cold trails and hope for a new lead to show up.  
  
Being ghosts was great for when they sent them out for assassinations but not so great for when they had run away and they were trying to find them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a time skip but hopefully this still flows okay. And technically it's still Monday so, please dont kill me?
> 
> Also there wont be an update next week. I'm having a really hard time with my mental health and have gotten behind on chapters but it's likely I'll only miss the one update next week. Sorry.


	18. Breakfast, Brooding & Hiking

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for being so understanding when I didn't update last week and thank you so much for 400 kudos

**Yasha POV:**  
  
It had been over three months and Anton and Yasha were still in Romania, they had been running for over a year and decided to set down roots. Though they had settled down where they were they still had an emergency backpack prepared for if they had to leave at a moments notice as well as several fully loaded guns that were in working order. The backpacks contained several fake passports and identities as well as wigs, hair dyes, coloured contacts along with a change in clothes and a variety of currency adding up to several thousand US dollars. Everything they could possibly need for a quick getaway  
  
Even after being free for so long they went over their escape plans and rendezvous points for if they ever got separated.  
  
Over the course of the year Anton and Yasha recalled various memories, they came in small bits and pieces but they cherished every one. Remembering was always scary for them though, whenever they remembered something it always came with the feeling of fear, it was built into them. That remembering equalled punishment. It might have been a reason why they didn't remember everything even after being free for so long.  
  
Yasha had remembered that he used to have sisters, he couldn't remember how many but that they all took after his mom. He remembered that he used to be friends with a blue eyed, blonde haired boy, he was fond of him and used to look after him. He recalled that they used to share an apartment. One of the things Yasha remembered most was fighting, but he didn't know why or even against who. These weren't people that Hydra made him fight, these were longer, bloodier fights and almost all those particular memories took place outside.  
  
The memories had been coming back slowly but surely, however it frustrated him how he could remember things and people he didn't even know but couldn't yet say what name he had been given at birth.  
  
Anton had revealed to him that the few things he could remember didn't make much sense to him, but that his memories mostly consisted of red hair, someone called Rhodey (what kind of name was that?) And a child with brown hair and brown eyes. He also told Yasha he remembered being in pain a lot and a blue light that was with him everywhere he went for a while.  
  
There wasn't much information they could take away from what they could remember, not enough to track down any family they might have had and that was what frustrated Yasha the most. He was sure he still had someone who might have known who he was that was still alive but he didn't even know who he was for certain so it was basically impossible to even try and find any surviving family members.  
  
Eventually though he and Anton had stopped fixating on their memories so much and since they stopped doing that they had become much more active and happy, they realised that what they were doing was unhealthy and that there was nothing wrong with letting them come naturally and not worrying over them.  
  
Another thing that Yasha had discovered during their freedom was that Anton was _really_ good with technology, the few times either of their arms jammed or malfunctioned or anything really went wrong with them Anton was able to figure out what was wrong and fix it just like that. He had improved the arm so much that now it ran smoother than ever and it was impossible to know that the arm was made out of metal with how fluidly it moved.  
  
Whenever Yasha left the house he made sure to wear long sleeved shirts and gloves to cover his arm and with how natural the arm acted no-one ever found out.  
  
He and Anton had come up with a fool-proof method to ensure that they it would be difficult for them to be tracked down, whenever they first entered the country they would rent a house under a fake name and Anton had figured out how to get money into their accounts using his powers meaning they were never without any. They preferred to use cash so it couldn't be traced back to them but occasionally they did have to use the cards but they made sure to withdraw enough money for the next time.  
  
If they ever had to leave the apartment they rented for groceries, necessities etc. Anton would stay inside and alter footage so that Yasha wouldn't be seen in them. This was the trick they used to stay undetected by cameras but if they ever went out to just sightsee Anton found it hard to concentrate on the sights and the cameras - he could do it but it took too much of his energy and concentration - so they wore disguises, that was where the coloured contacts, wigs and hair dye came in handy.  
  
They made sure to wear the same disguises whenever they left the apartment, it wouldn't do them any good if their neighbor's saw different people come out of the same apartment, so they made sure to keep their appearances consistent. Anton also wore a hat and kept his head down, the scarring on his face was extensive and made him easy to identify.  
  
Yasha had also grown closer to Anton, he loved him. And that was a concept he was still struggling to wrap his head around, that he could love someone. That away from Hydra he was allowed to love someone.  
  
Their days were filled with kisses and I love you's, and Anton and Yasha trying to figure out how to cook a decent meal without burning the house down (Yasha had officially been banned from the kitchen, whoops.) They were happy and the felt safe and it was all they ever could have asked for.  
  
  
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It was a sunny day and Yasha had just woken up, he ran his fingers through Anton's hair, it was much shorter now but still his natural dark brown. Yasha had found out that he was quite good at styling and cutting hair, whenever his or Anton's hair got too long he would cut it, it was good enough that if they weren't on the run he could have been a professional.  
  
Anton was sprawled across his chest snoring softly and he couldn't bring himself to wake him up.  
  
When he did rouse an hour or so later he opened his eyes slowly and yawned, as he stretched Yasha couldn't stop himself from comparing his boyfriend to a kitten. He knew how much it annoyed Anyon when he compared him to one. "Hey _kissa_."  
  
"Hmmmmmph, morning _zaychik_ ," Anton replied tring to rub sleep from his eyes. "Anything important we need to do today?"  
  
"No, nothing I can think of." He leaned down to give his love a quick peck on his lips.  
  
It was thrilling for Yasha to be so open about his love for Anton. There wasn't much for them to do so a majority of the day was spent lounging around in their apartment, and stealing kisses from each other. Before Yasha knew it his stomach was growling and Anton was in the kitchen making food, he had learnt a great deal of cooking since their escape. Whatever he was making made Yasha's mouth water (it was pasta) and he tried to steal a spoonful of pasta sauce. The mission was a fail though, he had been caught and his hand swatted with the wooden spoon Anton had been using. "Stop it, go sit down and be patient Yasha. It'll be ready in like 10 minutes just wait."  
  
Yasha whined about how unfair Anton was being but followed his instructions to sit and wait, just like he had been told 10 minutes later Anton was placing a plate of pasta in front of him. He was pretty sure it was the best thing he had ever eaten, and that was what he told Anton as well.  
  
They ate in comfortable silence and when they were done Yasha cleared away the dishes and cleaned up after them. Their life was quiet and uneventful and he was growing to love the life that he and his boyfriend had made for themselves.  
  
  
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**Anton POV:**  
  
Anton was stood in front of the mirror they had in their bathroom, he stared at himself long and hard, something about him wasn't right. His face looked younger than he thought it should be, his hair fully brown bearing no signs of aging and his skin clear of wrinkles. The entire right side of his body was severely scarred, he couldn't recall how it had happened or even how he had survived but everything about his appearance bothered him, something about it made that little voice in the back of his head pipe up telling him how it was _wrong wrong wrong wrong wrong._  
  
He thinks that he's older than his appearance makes him look, the scarring tells him that he shouldn't be alive. He doesn't know how he is. These thoughts keep running through his head, nothing but the feeling of _wrong_ though he doesn't really know what's _right_ either. What happened to him? He couldn't help but inspect his face, he poked, prodded and stroked his features almost as if he expected them to change if he touched them enough.  
  
His appearance tells him that he's in his mid-to-late 20s, but he feels so much older. Scraps of memories haunt him, the things he did for Hydra clawing at him, drowning him in guilt. But his memories from _before_ are muddled and don't make any sense and that annoys and scares him. Is he nothing but what Hydra made him? He recalls red hair and someone called Rhodey. A young child and so much hurt, hurt hurt hurt. Constant. It was always there at first in his chest and then his heart, he remembers the feeling of a conversation that left his heart squeezing painfully, of a confession that slips through his fingers but leaves remnants of rage in it's wake.  
  
He remembers encompassing cold and betrayal, anger and grief and then like he was being burnt alive, like fire was rushing through his veins and then nothing. He didn't know what they meant, his memories weren't so much things he remembers seeing but more feelings that he felt strongly and encompassed him. It was annoying, he knew that he was angry and betrayed but he couldn't see the reason why or even who it was directed at.  
  
He was snapped out of his thoughts when he heard a knock on the door, "Hey Anton, you okay in there?"  
  
"Yeh," Anton scrambled to wash his face and get out of the bathroom, he had forgotten about Yasha whilst he had been brooding. "Just give me a minute and I'll be right out."  
  
He dried his face off and walked out the bathroom, gesturing for Yasha to go in.  
  
When Yasha got out 15 minutes later he crept up behind Anton and wrapped his arms around his waist, and kissed his cheek.  
  
"You wanna go out sightseeing love, we can walk around and you can relax a little." Anton was going to argue that he was relaxed but one look at Yasha's face told him it was one argument he wasn't going to win, so he just nodded.  
  
"Where should we go?"  
  
"I'm glad you asked, we can go to the Piatra Mare Mountains. Please?"  
  
Anton scoffed at Yasha, he acted as if Anton had the willpower to deny him anything, "Of course. So, hiking eh?" Yasha looked a little sheepish but Anton knew that this was something that his boyfriend had wanted to do for a long time and he just couldn't say no to him.  
  
He and Yasha packed a bag with the appropriate equipment needed and got ready, they wouldn't be camping there though, neither felt safe being away from their weapons for so long.  
  
Anton made sure to pull his hat low over his face and pulled up his scarf so very little of his actual face could be seen, he and Yasha boarded a bus that would drop them off near the mountains along with other hiking enthusiasts.  
  
When they arrived at the mountains Yasha was off like a bullet, he was really eager and impatient. He and Yasha completed the hike faster than the others they had arrived with but no-one seemed to have noticed, after all they could have just been some very experienced hikers. With how harsh the training at Hydra was he supposes they are kind of.  
  
After the hike they just travelled around since nearby cities, they made sure to remain cautious but still enjoyed themselves. When Anton and Yasha finally returned home it was dark outside and they sleepily got ready for bed.  
  
Anton's last thought before he drifted off was how lucky he was to have found such happiness with Yasha.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed the chapter and dont forget to comment!
> 
> Also translations  
> kissa - kitten  
> zaychik - rabbit
> 
> Also the piatra mare mountains that are mentioned in this chapter are a real place and they're so beautiful. I strongly suggest looking up a picture of them.


	19. Happiness Crumbling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for the late update time... again and
> 
> Also thank you Cinnamon_buns for correcting the mistakes I made on the Russian last chapter I really appreciate it

**Anton POV:**  
  
When Anton woke up the next morning he turned over so he could cuddle with his boyfriend except when he turned over there were only cold sheets. He went tense, he didn't know why Yasha wasn't in bed with him. Opening his eyes he reached under his pillow and grabbed a small switch blade that they kept in their room, it was one of many within arms reach. Flicking it open Anton crept towards the door and slowly made his way through their apartment, it was almost completely silent until he heard cursing coming from the kitchen.  
  
Making his way over silently he prepared to surprise any intruders but as he rounded around the corner Anton froze as he looked at the state of the kitchen. There was flour everywhere - including the ceiling somehow - and the distinct smell of burning. As he looked towards the source of the swearing Anton let out a laugh when his eyes landed on Yasha. He had flour in his hair and he was holding a bowl of something that resembled puke.  
  
Yasha turned around startled and cursed some more when he saw Anton. "Shit. You're not meant to be up."  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"I was trying to make you breakfast but it kind of, backfired. In case you can't tell." It was obvious to Anton what had happened now but he couldn't help the warm feeling that unfurled in his chest at a his boyfriends statement, he looked like a ghost in the moment but he was being so sweet. He shook his head and walked over to clean up, he pecked Yasha on the lips and shoved him away from the counter, he wanted to clean up not make a bigger mess.  
  
_"Why don't you go pick up some breakfast for us whilst I clean up."_ Yasha had a slight blush on his cheeks but nodded his head and went to clean himself up.  
  
When he exited their room 25 minutes later hair damp and flour free clothes on he grabbed some money and made his way to the front door. _"Yasha,"_ Anton called out, _"thank you. For trying."_  
  
_"Anything for you kotenok."_  
  
Hearing the door close Anton turned to the mess, shook his head and went in search for a dust pan and brush.  
  
  
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**Yasha POV:**  
  
Yasha was wondering around looking for a good place to order some breakfast from, he had wanted to cook Anton breakfast and surprise him but, it hadn't gone too well. It had been a lot harder than Anton had made it look, he thought he would be able to make something simple like pancakes but he had quickly proven himself wrong.  
  
He had just wanted to do something sweet.  
  
As he wandered a small shop tucked away in the corner of the street caught Yasha's eye, it was quiet and didn't seem to be too busy. Looking through the window from afar he could see that they served breakfast, and to go! He could quickly grab some and maybe still salvage the morning.  
  
Entering the small cafe Yasha picked out some food that sounded good and got them to go, he hoped that Anton liked what he had picked out. The smell from the little brown bag he was carrying almost made him salivate.  
  
Walking back to the apartment with a skip in his step Yasha's steps faltered as he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, even though they had lived for so long without incident Yasha still trusted his instincts, lowering his head and picking up his pace he walked away from their home and listened carefully for footsteps. He could hear about three maybe four footsteps pick up speed when he did. He couldn't think of what to do.  
  
He had to find a way to lose his pursuers without alerting them if he hadn't already, he also had to make it back to the apartment to warn Anton. He felt anger rise up, his heart burnt with rage. He and Anton were living such a nice, quiet life and someone was trying to ruin it. They hadn't done anything, they didn't cause trouble and kept to themselves and why couldn't they just live a peaceful life.  
  
Heading towards an intersection Yasha saw someone on the street to the right look over towards him, they caught his eye and started to make their way over the same thing happened on the left. He realised he was being herded somewhere and it set him on edge, it had become obvious they weren't trying for subtlety and Yasha wished he had chosen to go down a less crowded street. He had a gun on him but with so many people around he had just as much a chance as hitting a normal passerby as he did hitting one of the people chasing him. Normally he wouldn't care but he was going to go for kill shots and he was done killing innocents or anyone not involved in this life.  
  
Yasha decided to let himself be herded, he was going to confront them and if the place he was taken was quiet enough, kill them. He knew it was a dumb idea but he was going to do it anyways. Man Anton was going to kill him.  
  
After about 10 minutes of chasing he was finally cornered into an alley, it was quiet there but the street outside was still bustling with people. "Well, well, well Soldier, you've seemed to have lost your touch. Letting yourself get led into an ambush."  
  
Yasha froze, that voice was familiar to him. But he wasn't under Hydra's control anymore and he refused to let their fear control him, "I haven't lost anything, though I can't say the same for you guys, you've seemed to have definitely lost a few brain cells along the way. What exactly made you think it would be a good idea to confront one of your Winter Soldier's with nothing but a small group of idiots with guns?" Seeing the leaders face turn scarlet with anger gave Yasha a rush of adrenaline, he wouldn't let them get him without a fight.  
  
Yasha didn't give him a chance to reply, he drew his gun and shot three of the men before ducking before a dumpster, the gunshots were silent. He was so grateful to whichever clever bastard had invented the silencer.  
  
The alley was long and he had been herded to the very back, he heard the ping of gunshots bouncing off the dumpster and switched the gun to his left hand and started shooting blind, he heard a few thumps so it was worth it. He went to reload when the mans voice started up again. Yasha was going to make another smart remark when he froze as the first word made it out of his mouth. "Желание." (Longing)  
  
He heard footsteps drawing closer and then someone was in front of him, he lashed out with his metal arm, an uppercut to the chest. He heard the crack of bones and blood spurted out of the mans mouth. He could hear others rushing towards him and he fought them off but all he could hear were the words coming out of the leaders mouth. By the third trigger word Yasha's mind was starting to slow by the fifth his movements were getting sluggish and he could feel himself struggling for power. By the sixth he had been pushed onto the ground by someone and he was lashing out wildly as everything started to darken. He waited for the next few that would make him into the mindless puppet Hydra loved so much.  
  
His eyes burned with unshed tears, his happiness was being ripped away. They fell down his cheeks and anger at his show of weakness clawed at him.  
  
He heard a thump and then a stunned silence, the rest of the words never came and the presence of people looming over him rushed into the opposite direction. He heard grunts and thumps and then nothing.  
  
Footsteps started running towards him and Yasha resigned himself to whatever fate was in store for him. He shouldn't have been such an idiot. And Anton, oh god they were probably going to make him bring Anton to them.  
  
"Yasha, shit Yasha are you okay? Are you still there? Fuck fuck fuck, shit shit what do I do?" Yasha could feel his shoulders being shaken violently. It was Anton, what was going on? Slowly the fog in his mind started to clear but Yasha still felt groggy.  
  
"Yeh that's it Yasha come on back. That's it you're doing great, I need you to open your eyes." Looking up Yasha was staring into Anton's eyes and he smiled a (probably goofy and strained) smile. He could feel the tears in his eyes fall but this time in relief. He didn't realise how grateful he was in that moment.  
  
"Thank you, Anton."  
  
"Shhhhh. No need to thank me, you'd've done the same. Come on now we got to go before someone finds us here with all these bodies."  
  
**Anton POV:**  
  
Anton hauled Yasha up and muttered sweet words into his ears, he didn't know what to do. He had thought that they would be prepared for any situation they might find themselves in but somehow they had forgotten about the words. Those stupid words. They were their biggest weaknesses and they had somehow forgotten about them. Stupid.  
  
Looking towards the entrance of the alley Anton chewed on his bottom lip as he tried to figure out a way to escape from an alley littered with dead bodies, whilst carrying a half lucid Yasha in his arms without drawing any attention. Even if he did manage all that he and Yasha would still have to leave the country, it would be too dangerous to stay in one place now that they had been found. And who knew if their apartment had been discovered or not.  
  
Anton just wanted to curl into a ball and cry buy he couldn't, if not for himself then for Yasha. _'Think, think, think. What do I do? What do I do? What do I fucking do?'_ Anton felt like crying his happiness was slipping through his fingers like water and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't keep hold of it. It wasn't fair! He wanted to scream and shout at the unfairness, at how cruel the universe had to be to give them a taste of happiness before deciding they'd had enough and ripping it away.  
  
Why them?  
  
Anton could feel himself retreating to the back of his mind, he felt numb. Normally the numbness, the emptiness in his chest when he couldn't feel would scare him but — it was comforting. In a way. The numbness felt less overwhelming than the confusion and panic of not know what to do. It was an almost welcomed.  
  
Anton felt his head turn, the weight of something settling onto his back and he could hear whispers escape his mouth but the words were lost to him. He could feel Yasha's mouth move in reply against the back of his neck - oh, he was carrying Yasha - and he could feel the rough feeling of brick under his fingers and the strain in his shoulders but it was all muted to him. Anton could feel what was going on but he wasn't part of it, he was on autopilot almost.  
  
It was at times like these he was glad he could just separate himself from the situation let his body move on it's own and not have to deal with anything that became too much (it wasn't a conscious decision on his part.)  
  
But even as he curled up in the darkest corners of his mind Anton couldn't help but think about what had just happened, he couldn't stop himself from thinking and worrying over what might have happened if he hadn't gotten there in time. Walking into that alley and seeing Yasha on the ground as well as that wretched book made his heart ache and his blood run hot with rage. He didn't hesitate to kill the fucker who was reading out the words and then to take care of the rest of the slow idiots who had been brought along.  
  
When Anton saw Yasha being herded he didn't hesitate to leave their home to help him out, it wasn't that he didn't believe in Yasha's abilities but the fact that he couldn't stop himself from worrying. And seeing Yasha walk into that alley with all those people following after him made Anton want to scream at him. Why would he do something so stupid?  
  
And the relief that flooded his body when Yasha was still himself, groggy and slow but still Yasha and not the Soldier.  
  
Anton felt himself being yanked out of his mind, quite literally. When he came to once again he was back in their apartment and Yasha had been set down on the bed and their emergency to go bags were set down next to it. The only thing left to do really was wake Yasha up which was hard enough on a normal day.  
  
Even though they were on a tight schedule Anton grinned manically as he thought of the perfect way to wake Yasha up, filling a glass up with ice cold water Anton didn't hesitate to dump it on Yasha's face. When he shot up straight with a yelp Yasha glared at him but his face soured as his memories - Anton assumes - of the past few hours came back to him. **"What are we going to do?"** Yasha was tugging at his hair, eyes hard and voice harder.  
  
**"We're going to get to safety and stay on the run, we're going to stay free and give them hell Yasha. Come on grab your bag and let's go."**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have discovered witchcraft (I actually discovered it like 5 months ago but eh semantics) and I LOVE everything about it. Genuinely curious are there any witches, pagans etc reading my stories and you only have to comment about it of you feel comfortable. I also ask that everyone is respectful if they fo share their beliefs but if not dont forget to comment on what you thought about this chapter!


	20. Running

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the really late update my wifi decided to stop working and I had no data

**Anton POV:**  
  
Helping Yasha up they made their way towards the door, in his panic Anton couldn't seem to remember anything. Every plan and escape procedure they had gone over 100 times had left his mind as if he had never practiced them. The uncertainty set Anton on edge he didn't like not being prepared, it went against almost every fibre of his being.  
  
Taking some deep breaths Anton tried to will his racing heart to slow down, the sound of blood rushing was unsettling and distracting. Making their way over to the door Anton stopped. Hand on the floor handle Anton froze and listened carefully to the footsteps he could hear. There were multiple sets all climbing slowly, there was a chance that it wasn't who he thought it was but a chance he wasn't willing to bet his and Yasha's freedom on. Anton could feel Yasha behind him listening just as closely as he was, "Should we-"  
  
"Yes. No. I- we'll leave out the window, better safe then sorry." Yasha grunted in approval. It was at times like these that Anton was reluctantly appreciative of Hydra's training but only because it was helping them get _away_ from Hydra and danger. There was something poetic about that Anton thought but poems weren't really the most important thing on his mind right now. Rushing to the window and pulling it up Anton grabbed both his and Yasha's backpacks, he didn't know how weak Yasha was feeling at the moment but he wasn't willing to risk anything. If they got out of this safe and alive he was going to chew Yasha's ass out so bad. Fucking dumbass.  
  
Swinging his leg out Anton grabbed a hold of the pipe that ran parallel to their window and climbed up, thank you window facing a deserted alley. Attention was the last thing they needed. Pulling himself over the edge of the roof Anton turned around immediately and waited for Yasha to reach him, and even though he was completely capable of pulling himself onto the roof himself it didn't stop Anton from grabbing his arm and yanking him up - harshly but he deserved it.  
  
Handing Yasha his backpack they ran.  
  
Running on rooftops was actually quite soothing, _"Would be a lot more soothing if we weren't being chased by a group of psychopaths."_  
  
**_"Shut the fuck up, no-one asked for your opinion."_**  
  
_"Rude!"_ Over the course of their freedom the annoying voice in his head piped up more and more often and just became even more annoying overall.  
  
Shutting it out Anton and Yasha jumped from rooftop to rooftop. For the life of him he couldn't remember what they were meant to do, everything of theirs was likely compromised: credit cards, identities, everything.  
  
After about 10 minutes of constant running at top speed he and Yasha started to slow down, but Anton's thoughts seemed to speed up. "What should we do? I can't remember what we're meant to do. Why can't I remember what to do." Anton could hear the hysteria creeping into his voice but the events and what they meant were catching up to him, Hydra had found them and had almost gotten Yasha. They were probably being hunted down, there were probably authorities searching for them right now, the amount of power Hydra held whilst staying in the shadows was scary. What the hell were they going to do.  
  
How were they going to escape, what were they- "Hey, Anton," Yasha grasped Anton's head in his hands and looked him in his eyes. "It's going to be okay. Okay? We are going to be okay. We'll get away and we'll keep a low profile and carry on living free but I'm going to need you to calm down first. Can you do that for me?"  
  
Anton nodded his head but bringing his breathing back under control was a lot harder than someone might think, no matter how hard he tried his breaths kept coming too fast or too slow, and it felt like he wasn't getting enough air. One of Yasha's hands slid down from his face to his back and soothingly stroked his spine.  
  
It still took a few minutes after that to get his breathing under control but the reminder of Yasha's presence helped him a lot.  
  
When Anton could breath steadily with only the occasional hiccup Yasha turned to him and helped him stand, "Anton, we're going to grab some of our emergency supplies that we've hidden around the city and then we're going to leave. We'll travel southwest, enter Serbia. We can't travel by boat or plane, the ports and airports are going to be watched closely. We have a better chance of sneaking past the patrol when we aren't confined to a limited space. But I need you to stay calm okay?"  
  
**"I can do that. I can do that. Supplies then Serbia. No boats or planes, on foot. We have to go on foot. I can do that."** Anton couldn't stop his eyes from farting around frantically searching his surrounding for any threats.  
  
**"Everything's going to be okay Anton. We're going to be okay."** Even through Yasha's certain time Anton could pick up on the slight quiver of uncertainty that had buried underneath. **"Come on let's go."**  
  
Yasha helped him to his feet and took the lead in their escape, he couldn't think clearly anymore, it would compromise their safety. Something he could never live with.  
  
As they crept along rooftops more cautiously than before Anton could only think of one thing, that if it came down to it he would do anything for Yasha to be free. Even if it meant giving up his own freedom.  
  
About 2 minutes of roof hopping later they reached their emergency supply stash and Yasha took charge once again and picked out everything they needed. Anton could only look in confusion. His fear was making it so that nothing made sense to him.  
  
Fear! It was fear he was feeling. Fear of Hydra and of his freedom being taken from him once again. Fear for Yasha. For his freedom being taken from him. Fear of losing everything that they had worked so hard to get. **"I'm _scared_ Yasha."** Anton saw the was Yasha froze and registered the slight wobble in his voice, the way he slowly turned to him and tilted his head. The way realisation hit and his eyes softened.  
  
**"It's okay to be scared love, and it's okay if you can't be strong right now. That's what you have me for. I'm here for you as well, remember that."**  
  
**"But what if they- "** Anton cut himself off with a sob. He was so scared. More than he thinks he's ever been in his life. He had something so wonderful that they would lose if they were caught and he didn't want that to happen.  
  
**"Hey, hey, hey. I'm here for you. And I will do my best to protect you, I need you to believe in me okay."** Anton frantically nodded his head, he knew Yasha would protect him and he didn't want him to think he would ever doubt that ability. He knew that Yasha wouldn't let them be taken without a fight because he knew that if he was being rational right now, he wouldn't either. He let Yasha gently pull him to his feet and swayed gently - he couldn't remember sitting down, he couldn't seem to remember a lot of things - as Anton cried into his chest, he sobbed quietly as he tried to calm down.  
  
As Anton finally got his breathing and emotions under control he wiped away his tears, he grabbed some stuff that Yasha had grabbed at some point and was holding out to him and stuffed it into his bag. He steeled his resolve and got himself ready. He wasn't hopeful enough to think that they could run without a fight. That sort of mindset would mean he would be unprepared, and that could mean some serious consequences and not just for him. He _would_ protect Yasha no matter what, if he needed to he would kill anyone and everyone to get Yasha back. Anton froze slightly at that thought, it made him realise just how much he loved and relied on Yasha.  
  
He would give up his freedom for Yasha. And that was a hill Anton was willing to die on, but that didn't mean he wouldn't hesitate to kick Yasha's ass if they got to Serbia without being found out.  
  
Yasha grabbed Anton's hand and gently led him to where they were going, he got lost in his mind a little as he thought of what they would have to do after getting to Serbia. They would have to move quickly since after Hydra realise that they're no longer in Romania they would shut down any nearby countries and do their best to flush them out. They probably wouldn't be able to stay in Serbia for long, maybe a day or two but it would be best if they left they country as soon as possible and got as far away from it as soon as possible. They could probably travel to one of the neighbouring countries, maybe Hungary or Montenegro, just anywhere away from Hydra.  
  
Anton thought of how dumb he had to be to have thought they were so safe, to have stupidly stayed in the same place for so long. Especially whilst they were _on the **fucking** run._  
  
  
\------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
**Yasha POV:**  
  
Yasha kept glancing over at Anton, he was worried about him. Anton looked distant, as if he wasn't here anymore but lost in his head. And normally there wouldn't be anything wrong with that except with everything that had just happened and the situation they were in Anton was probably berating himself. "Anton," Anton's head snapped up at his name and his eyes darted quickly around their surroundings taking in the details and every potential threat before coming back to Yasha's own and looked at him with slight confusion. "I mean this I'm the nicest way possible but stop being an idiot, none of this is your fault." As he opened his mouth to protest Yasha took the opportunity to pull him in closely and kiss him with everything he had, when he pulled back Anton stared at him dumbfounded, "Don't interrupt. As I was saying, none of this is your fault, we both became too comfortable with what we had, staying there for so long was a mistake on _both_ our parts, not just yours."  
  
"I know. But, it still feels like it is. It still feels like _I_ should have been more alert, more aware of what was going on. I should have done a better job protecting us."  
  
"Goddamit Anton, _it's not your job to protect both of us,_ it's not even your job to protect you all by yourself. That's what you have me for. And we both failed at keeping each other same, so stop berating yourself so bad."  
  
Yasha could see him trying to come up with an argument and his frustration at not being able to come up with one, Anton scowled at him and stomped away.  
  
Yasha chuckled silently at his childish antics and briskly walked to catch up with him, the atmosphere around them had lightened a lot and Yasha could tell that neither of them were struggling with their guilt as much anymore, Yasha had felt just as guilty when he had been ambushed, if he hadn't been so stubborn maybe they wouldn't be in this situation right now. But he knew that if he let himself drown on his guilt he wouldn't be able to help Anton the way he had helped him when he had been having difficult times.  
  
Eventually they had to stop for the night, Yasha helped Anton climb a tree and climbed up after him, grabbing a length of rope he and Anton tied themselves to the tree. Yasha felt himself drift off but he was still as alert as ever.  
  
  
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**Omniscient POV:**  
  
Officials at Hydra were working hard to recapture the Winter Soldiers, after so long they had finally caught up to them and the only reason was because they had become comfortable with what they had and hadn't moved locations in almost a year, the lack of movement gave them enough time to catch up with them and assemble a team to capture them.  
  
When the team sent out to capture the Soldiers didn't respond to any calls for updates a retrial unit was sent out where they discovered the bodies of their accomplices, there had been outrage and anger expressed by a few but most just winced and shook their heads in understanding. They knew how dangerous the Winter Soldiers were and that the team that had been sent out had simply been bait that had successfully been taken.  
  
Now both Soldiers were on the move likely on foot, they would be too paranoid to take an airport or boat at the port and would likely walk, though every possible exit out of the country was still being watched borders on land were just being watched more closely. They had armed the border controls with darts that would (hopefully) take out two Super Soldiers, and if not a few would at least. Now all they had to do was wait.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment I love reading them.


	21. Across The Border

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new chapter is after the note in the beginning talking about me taking a break.

Hey guys, I'm really sorry that this isn't an update but I've been feeling really down lately and haven't been able to write any chapters, I've also ran out of extra chapters to post so there isn't one today. I'm going to take a break from this story but not for any longer than 2 weeks you can expect an update on the 4th of January which is the first monday after my 2 week break.

Thank you so much for understanding. I promise that there WILL be an update and that I'm not abandoning this story, hope you guys enjoy the chapter when it comes out on the 4th 😁

* * *

I'm back. Enjoy

**Anton POV:**  
  
Running, running, running. That's all the Anton could thing about, he needed something to concentrate on because if he didn't he knew he would fall apart. If he didn't think about anything else then those little doubtful voices in his head wouldn't have a chance to pipe up. The same voices that he heard anytime he used to think about running away. The voices that would tell him it was useless to resist, pointless to try and escape and that nothing but pain and deaths awaited for him.  
  
He used to listen to those voices, he used to believe the lies they would tell him - used to believe that the life he lived was all that he was good for. But now he knew differently, but that didn't mean those voices had stopped, didn't even mean that he never listened to them. Occasionally - in moments of weakness - Anton would fall down a rabbit hole in his mind where the voices ruled. He spent hours upon hours during sleepless nights listening to them, doubting if living free was really for him. He would sometimes even leave the bed, intending to return before his eyes would land on Yasha and he would shake out of the trance filled with guilt. He would crawl back into the bed with Yasha, clinging to him so he wouldn't forget what they fought for.  
  
Anton followed Yasha's lead as he started to slow his pace and eventually started to walk. Yasha motioned for him to be quiet, not that he needed any prompting. Yasha crouched low and slowly inched his way towards the tree line. From what he could make out there were multiple guards and they all looked pretty tired but they might have just been bored. It was hard to tell the difference. _"We shouldn't move right now. We don't know their schedule, movements or any precautions that have in place to be able to cross without a problem. We should wait a few days, get a feel for their movements and when the best time to make our move would be."_  
  
Anton hummed his agreement but something was bothering him, an itch in his brain that he couldn't seem to scratch. Something about this situation was putting him on edge, glancing at Yasha told Anton that he felt similarly. Yasha's tense shoulders frantic glances all around them showed his unease. _"Something's wrong, isn't it?"_  
  
_"It definitely feels that way. Something about this... I don't know. We should just try and be more cautious. We'll make sure we aren't caught. Not now anyways."_  
  
The way Yasha looked so sure and confident soothed Anton's nerves, he knew that he could trust Yasha to protect him always. But this was putting them both on edge, their instincts were almost always right but they had no other options right now. They had used boats to get away too many times before, using one in an emergency like this is just asking to get caught. Flying was out of the question too, airports had too many security cameras in them, it would be almost impossible to get through the process without their faces being caught on a camera and even if they did somehow manage that their faces would have to be seen at the border.  
  
A majority of their fake ID's and disguises were left behind, so they couldn't use them even if they wanted to. And with Hydra looking so desperately for them he wouldn't be surprised if they had people stationed at airports on the lookout for them. As much as this situation didn't sit right with them it was probably the safest route to take.  
  
  
\----------------------------------------------------------------------  
  
  
_**~3 Days Later~**_  
  
It was currently 4:56AM and Yasha was currently leading Anton slowly towards the border, though it had only been a few days since they arrived their nerves were starting to get the better of them. Just laying in wait there was leaving them as sitting ducks for Hydra.  
  
Even though it had only been a few days since they arrived they were still as cautious as ever, ~~if~~ ~~not a little rushed and impatient~~ they were still the best pair of assassins for a reason.  
  
Over the course of the three days they were there Anton and Yasha learnt that there was a shift change every six and a half hours, each change over left a five minute window where there were no guards. When changing over the guards were laziest at the end (no surprises there) but most were still aware enough to help out if needed to. However at the shift change at 5 O'clock the guards were noticeably sleepier and slower at responding.  
  
Currently Anton was waiting for the signal from Yasha that would tell him that they were good to go, he was a lot calmer now than he had been when Hydra first showed up but he still didn't trust himself to think clearly when it came to it.  
  
_"Anton?"_  
  
The sudden voice calling his name startled him and he swung around frantically, heart beating wildly. He saw Yasha looking at him worryingly and Anton could feel his cheeks heat up from embarrassment, of course it was Yasha. No-one else called him Anton, but he guessed years of being cautious and ready for abuse wouldn't disappear so easily, especially when he was their on edge.  
  
_"Are you okay?"_  
  
_"Yeh, yeh I'm fine. Just a little... on edge."_  
  
_"Can't blame you, my hearts beating so fucking fast. But c'mon, it's almost time to go."_  
  
_"Alright. Let's do this, I always will get a kick out of pissing pieces of shit off."_  
  
Anton felt his heart flutter at Yasha's chuckle but shoved his feeling down, now was no time to be distracted. This was probably one of the most important things they would do, their freedom was on the line and they were leaping for it. As Yasha crept forward Anton made sure to keep a constant distance away from him, this way they would be able to surprise any enemies trying to sneak up on them by letting them give each other a bit of time to realise something was wrong.  
  
If Anton was attacked Yasha would have a few seconds to realise that and would be able to help out since he wouldn't be caught up in the ambush, but if someone tried to sneak up on Yasha Anton would be able to take care of it before it became a problem.  
  
As they inched their way towards the border Anton stopped when Yasha reached the tree line, with one hand Yasha signaled to Anton that there was two minutes left until they set their plan in motion. Andrenaline was kicking in and everything was going silent, the only thing Anton could concentrate on was what was in front of him right now. As the seconds ticked by Anton could feel his vision narrowing down to only what he needed to focus on.  
  
Movement in front of him caught his attention and Anton crawled forward after realising it was the signal for them to go. The guards had just disappeared and now they had about four minutes to cross the border and get somewhere where they hopefully couldn't be seen.  
  
Yasha crouched low to the ground and sprung forward, he ran so fast it was almost impossible to keep track of him but Anton's Super Soldier eyesight didn't have too much trouble keeping up with Yasha's movements. The way Yasha moved was elegant and he made no unnecessary movements, when he reached the halfway point Anton also sprung into action.  
  
Everything around him blurred and all he focused on was the other side of the border, if they could get there it would make their lives easier. Of course they would still have to travel and leave a lot of false leads for Hydra but getting to the other side of that border was important in getting them one step closer to escaping Hydra's grasp.  
  
Anton was so focused on just running all other thoughts escaped his mind, he trusted that Yasha would stop him from running somewhere he wasn't supposed to, but as someone grabbed his arm his fight or flight instincts kicked in.  
  
He smashed his hand into the wrist of the hand grabbing him but when they collided the hand budged very little and a harsh metallic vibration sounded, looking down at the hand Anton clebcged his eyes sgit in embarrassment when he realised it was only Yasha.  
  
_"Sorry,"_ Anton whispered. His voice was quiet, mostly so no-one heard them but also because he was embarrassed that he hadn't recognised Yasha.  
  
_"Hey, I know you're not yourself right now and that's okay. You've always been there for me so it doesn't bother me to be there for you. It never will. Together forever or something equally as corny as that right."_  
  
Anton could feel the pressure in his heart disappearing, as irrational a fear it was he had been afraid that Yasha would grow tired of his mistakes and leave him. After all he probably had a better chance at surviving if he didn't have Anton weighing him down, if Yasha didn't have to deal with his mistakes and deal with his recent clumsiness.  
  
He wouldn't even blame Yasha if he decided to leave him and go off on his own, if it hadn't been for Yasha Anton would be back in Hydra's hands by now and- _"Stop it Anton. You're making that face, the one that says I'm a burden and you'd be better off without me."_  
  
_"But it's true, you've had to look out for yourself and for me, it can't be easy. I-"_  
  
_"Shut the fuck up, I mean that in the nicest way possible Anton. We've looked out for each before it's no different this time. It is going to be fine, okay?"_  
  
Anton hesitated for a second, _"Okay."_  
  
_"Good, now let's get going."_  
  
As they carefully crept along, the hairs on the back of Anton's neck stood up. He shivered as tingles traveled along his spine and his eyes darted around as he tried to pinpoint what exactly was stopping him so on edge.  
  
In front of him Yasha stopped.  
  
There was the sound of a shot firing and a stinging in his leg and arm, looking down he saw something sticking it if his leg. It looked like a tranquilizer.  
  
At first Anton felt confused, why would they use tranquilizers? Wouldn't they just shoot with actual bullets? But then... then he caught on. This was Hydra.  
  
They wouldn't want to damage their precious Super Soldier's, but, tranquilizers did nothing to them, their metabolism was too fast for them to have any effect on him or Yasha.  
  
There was a thump and looking forward he was surprised to see Yasha laying in the floor. As he tried to walk towards Yasha and try to help him up Anton was surprised by the sudden spurt of dissiness. His knees buckled under him and the arm that had been reaching towards Yasha was suddenly too heavy to keep up.  
  
Darkness spread across his vision. The slowly fading vision gave Anton a strange sense of déjà vu.  
  
**_"I don't want to go through that again, Rhodey, Yasha. Help me. Please."_**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, I know its shorter than normal. But also thank for all the support in the comment you guys are awesome, the update is late because well... I kinda forgot that time was a thing and I honestly forgot that as the days all blurred together. I know it's already after new years but HAPPY NEW YEAR. Hopefully it's better than last.
> 
> ALSO I honestly know nothing about illegally crossing borders so my description is vague and veryyyy wrong (I'm guessing) it's also probably not that easy either so dont go trying this!!! 😂
> 
> You guys have been so supportive and nice so thank you so much for that!!!


	22. Back To The Start

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure you go back and read chapter 21. When I posted the 21st chapter I just added it onto the chapter that already existed and just now realised that it still says I haven't updated since December so yeh make sure you've read the last chapter before reading this one.
> 
> Edit: damn there's 500 kudos

**Yasha POV:**  
  
Waking up Yasha didn't remember what had happened, so when the ceiling that came into view as his eyes opened was a dirty, grey concrete ceiling and not the beige chipped paint of his and Anton's apartment in Romania, he panicked.  
  
As he went on his guard his first instinct was to get up, find a weapon, escape if he could and if he couldn't to find a good defensive position to attack from. But his plan was cut short, his arms felt like lead and it was impossible to move any part of his body. It was a feeling Yasha wasn't used to, he hadn't ever, as far as he knew of, come across something that he had been unable to break free of or escape. The feeling of helplessness was uncomfortable, Yasha didn't like the way it sat in his chest, crushing his heart and clawing at his lungs. The way his mind fogged over and no clear or comprehensive thoughts were able to form,  
  
He didn't know what was going on and he didn't know where Anton was. What was he going to do? He had to get to Anton.  
  
Anton must be so worried or scared, he had been blaming himself before everything happened, god only knew what he must be thinking right now. He knew that if Anton was left alone with his thoughts for too long, especially when he's scared or doubtful, he starts to spiral.  
  
Fucking hell, what the fuck had happened. He vaguely remembers having to run away from Romania because Hydra found them, he also remembers arriving at the border and crossing into Serbia but everything after that is gone. He doesn't remember what happened!  
  
They can't have been found by the border patrol, he would at least be feeling the effects of a gunshot wound and that wouldn't explain why he blacked out. He was too used to pain and he couldn't feel any so it just confused him further.  
  
Closing his eyes Yasha tried to think about what might have happened, his eyes snapped open as he came to a horrifying realisation. He might be with Hydra.  
  
It was a thought he didn't want to be true but it was the first thought that came to mind that made sense. This couldn't be happening. Yasha tensed up as adrenaline rushed through his body and with the strength he had he lurched up. Or at he tried to.  
  
His body barely moved a millimetre before it was tugged back down against whatever he was laying on, the fight left his body as suddenly as it had come. He couldn't lift anything, was he tied down? He didn't know what was going on and he could only panic as he waited for something to happen.  
  
Yasha had only been conscious for maybe a few minutes when he heard footsteps approaching. He hated it, it reminded him so much of when he was nothing but a puppet. When he would sit in his cell obediently staring at the wall with Anton not speaking or doing anything at all, just waiting. He remembered that they would sit doing nothing and that when the footsteps came it was only to retrieve them for a mission, punishment or to put them back into cryostasis.  
  
He didn't have any good memories and he hated that he was in the same position he never wanted to be in again. He hated it so much.  
  
Eventually the footsteps stopped and he heard the sound of a lock unlocking and a door screeching open. "I have to say you were much harder to track down and capture than we were hoping, though I guess we shouldn't be too surprised. You've caused us a lot of trouble Soldier, you and the Asset killed quite a few of our men."  
  
Yasha tried to retort but even his voice didn't seem to be working, it was frustrating. He couldn't even turn his head to glare at the motherfucker who was talking to him. And. That. Pissed. Him. Off. The cowards couldn't even _taunt him_ face to face.  
  
"Ah pardon me you must be confused, I'm guessing you've figured out by now that you're back where you belong, honestly what were you thinking running away like that Soldier. But of course you're probably wondering why you can't move or talk or do anything really. Well believe it or not we have managed to create a tranquilizer capable of putting even you and the Asset out of commission, though we did need quite a few you know. It seems as though it's still effective though the effects should wear out in a while. But first you need to be punished, and recalibrated." Hearing those words Yasha froze, he wanted to thrash and scream and _run away_ but he couldn't, he couldn't and that scared him more than anything he had faced so far. If he let that happen, if he let himself be put in that chair who knew when he would next remember.  
  
Would he remember at all?  
  
Who's to say he would ever remember, maybe he really would spend the rest of his life doing nothing but killing on nothing but the whims and orders of others.  
  
"Now don't look so shocked or scared you should have been expecting this, you ran away and killed other members of Hydra, and in case you don't remember you and the Asset are the lowest of the low, everyone here no matter their position is your superior. And you killed them. You should have thought about the consequences of your actions before you committed to them. Now let's get you ready shall we?"  
  
Yasha could feel his heart racing, he didn't want to forget, he didn't want to lose all the memories he created with Anton didn't want to lose all the _progress_ he'd made while he was free. He no longer jumped to the conclusion to kill someone if something went wrong. He spent the longest time he could remember being free and happy and it was being stripped away from him, he didn't want to go back to killing and numbness, of feeling nothing but emptiness and cold, of fearing if the job had been carried out well enough so that he wouldn't be punished.  
  
He didn't want to forget what he meant to to Anton and what Anton meant to him. He didn't want to forget that he made a mess in their kitchen whilst trying to make pancakes, about how they went hiking because Anton couldn't ever say no when it came to him.  
  
He didn't want to forget about goodnight kisses, and pet names and making lives for themselves. Even though he and Anton didn't know the most basic things about themselves or rather who they were they still built themselves from the ground up. They made new identities for themselves and (re?)discovered things about themselves. He loved how Anton's eyes would turn a luminescent blue like something out of this world whenever he used his techy powers. And how they would fade to such a warm brown at any other time. He didn't want to forget how many times Anton complimented his own, telling him that they looked like a storm at sea. Something dangerously beautiful and thrilling but calm to look at from afar.  
  
He never wanted to forget how Anton told him how lucky he felt that Yasha trusted him enough to have the privelige of being able to look at his eyes so closely.  
  
These were memories that they had created for themselves when the others were ripped away from them and now Hydra had the **_audacity_** to try and take these as well. But there was nothing he could do, he couldn't move a single muscle and even if he could he didn't know where they were keeping Anton and leaving him was out of the question. This base was likely somewhere new so that they wouldn't be able to escape.  
  
Yasha snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of chuckling, it soon turned into full-blown belly laughs but before he could try and muster up another glare he could only aim at the ceiling a hand came into view and wiped under his eyes. The hand spread something wet over his face, "Would you look at that, the infamous Winter Soldier _crying!,"_ there was even more laughter but Yasha was confused as to when he started crying. "Oh god, no-one told me that you cried. I was told you were pretty emotionless but here you are crying!" The laughter cut off pretty abruptly after that.  
  
"Though if you're crying you need to be disciplined even more than we thought, you've gotten weak and we can't have that. Don't worry though we'll have you back to the emotionless slate you were before your stupid decision to run off."  
  
Yasha still couldn't move his body, all throughout the cowards speech Yasha was trying to see if he could move at all (the first thing he would do was going to be to punch the motherfucker) but he still wasn't even able to lift his pinky. Whatever they hit him with, they hit him with a lot of it if it was still in effect now. More than anything Yasha just wanted to live peacefully with Anton, he didn't understand why they couldn't be left alone, why they kept being chased.  
  
Why was asking for peaceful quiet lives too much, why couldn't their wish just be granted.  
  
Yasha heard the sound of the door opening and even more people entering. There were voices all around him, some sounded pissed, others gleeful (fucking scientists), and some were fearful - as they should be, he was going to kill them all if- no when he manages to get out. But he didn't how he was going to do that at the moment.  
  
He was weak and though he didn't know for sure likely tied down. He had to get away before they could get him to the chair, that fucking chair. He wants to tear it piece from piece along with anyone who knows how to make the damn thing.  
  
There were people leaving over him and there most he could do was glare and the though he wanted to cuss them out all he could produce was a slightly animalistic growl which got a lot of people calling him a dog. Pieces of shit.  
  
He would like to think even with all the people he's killed and the fact he was an emotionless robot in 90% of his memories he still has more humanity than any of these leeches.  
  
Eventually after they finish poking and prodding him (honestly what the fuck were they doing?) they start to move, whatever they have him on had wheels so there was no chance of escape there. As they pushed him down long winding corridors he had to wonder why the universe hated him and Anton so much, were they bad people? Is that why they were being refused happiness again and again... and again.  
  
He didn't know what they had done to deserve this but he didn't want to suffer anymore, it was becoming too much and he didn't know how much longer he could keep fighting before he broke.  
  
When they came to a stop it was inside a room, the ceiling looked no different from anywhere else so Yasha had no guesses as to where he might've been.  
  
There were people leaning over him again and he heard straps being unbuckled, so he was being held down and they weren't weren't as dumb as he had thought them to be. Then he was being lifted up and Yasha could do nothing as his body collapsed on itself, his head flopped forward and he was dragged to wherever.  
  
All Yasha could do was look at people's shoes, but as they started to slow down he felt his breathing stop when a familiar black seat came into view, he was pushed down into it and his arm, legs and chest were secured. As his head was pushed back Yasha started to panic even more, food fucks sake he thought he had more time.  
  
An unintentional whine left his mouth and he felt ashamed when everyone started snickering and laughing, "Just listen to him, really is just like a dog." The comments made him want to thrash and struggle anything at all to show that he wasn't done fighting, anything to prove to himself that he wasn't giving in and that he didn't want this. He had too many memories of sitting down in this chair just like this not resisting in the slightest and as he sat here now not resisting he was confused. He knew he didn't want this but his body wasn't complying, the warring sides of him didn't know who was in charge, whether he was truly trying to resist or just pretending to.  
  
But he guesses that it doesn't matter, soon he won't even remember this.  
  
As the mouthguard is placed in his slack mouth Yasha can do nothing but watch as the head pieces lowered and whired to life. As the cold metal came into contact with his face Yasha waited for the pain.  
  
When the electricity sparked up and ran through him Yasha instinctively bit down on the mouth guard and screamed in pain, it was so much worse than he remembered. The pain he remembered and the pain he was feeling right now weren't even comparable.  
  
Right now he felt as if someone was hammering nails into his skull and brain, as if they had cracked his head open and were picking it apart with their fingers. He could feel tears steaming down his face and he wanted to beg them to stop. If he gave in the pain would stop but he didn't want to forget, giving in would mean they won but... it was becoming too much for him.  
  
After what felt like an eternity the pain finally stopped, his head was still pounding but the constant feeling of someone stamping on his brain was gone. As the head piece lifted Yasha was slightly confused, he'd could still remember Anton and everything that led him to rebel. When his head was yanked forward by his hair by some motherfucker he stared at a middle aged man with graying hair and moss green eyes, when Yasha mustered up a glare he clicked his tone and ordered for the voltage to be upped.  
  
There were surprised mutters but no-one complained, his head was once again pushed back and electricity coursed through him again.  
  
They kept shooting him up with electricity, stopping, turning it up and then repeating. They did it so many times he lost count, and slowly he started to forget.  
  
He knew he was forgetting but... he didn't know what.  
  
  
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**Soldier POV:**  
  
When the Soldier's head was yanked up by one of Hydra's scientists(?) he lowered his eyes, he wasn't meant to look them directly in the eyes, it was seen as an act of defiance. From what he could gather the Soldier figured out that he was being punished.  
  
He didn't know what for but if it had been decided he needed to be punished then he was in no place to argue. He was never in a place to argue, the handler knew best.  
  
When the Soldier's head was released he continued to look down, he hadn't been told he could do anything.  
  
"It seems to have worked. Finally. But just to be sure, who do you belong to Soldier?"  
  
"The Soldier belongs to Hydra."  
  
"And what are you?"  
  
"The Soldier is Hydra's weapon, the Soldier does what it is told and nothing else."  
  
"Good boy. Take it to its cell."  
  
When the Soldier arrived at his cell he sat at his cot and did nothing else, he hadn't been told to do anything and so he wouldn't. He didn't know how much time had passed but it had been quite done time later when the door did opened once again and another figure was escorted inside. They sat in the cot opposite the Soldier's own, their eyes were dead and cold and empty. The dull brown looked like they would look like golden honey if they were filled with life but just as quickly as the thought entered the Soldier's head he shook it out. These thoughts were not allowed so he shut them firmly out.  
  
It was then that he recognised who it was! It was the Asset who had been escorted into the cell, it had been so long since they had seen each other, or at least he thought it had been. Memories weren't the most reliable thing or at least in their case it wasn't. Even though he knew who it was neither made a move to try and start a conversation. He guessed that the Asset had been punished as well, they were normally sent on missions together so if one was punished the other normally was as well.  
  
The punishment he had been given this time was particularly harsh he guessed that he fucked up really bad.  
  
Normally straight after punishments is when they were away their most obedient, not that they weren't after punishments but the fear was still present and fresh after punishments. It was the time they were most likely to drop to their knees and lick their handlers boots clean without a seconds hesitation, they would do it any other time but normally there would be a split seconds hesitation. One that was always noticed.  
  
The cell was silent but neither made a move to try and change that, they hadn't been given permission.  
  
This is what their life was and what it would remain like. They lived to serve Hydra, having any desires of their own was terrifying and always resulted in punishment.  
  
This was all that he and the Asset could remember so there was no other way for them to live. This was the only life they could live. They wouldn't be suitable for any other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys enjoyed!!! Leave a comment if you want to I love reading them


	23. Rebellion

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Eyyyyyyy I hope you guys enjoy the chapter. And also thank you to everyone whos commented, left KUDOS or is even just reading the story and (hopefully) enjoying it, it means the world to me that you all take time out of your day to read this.

**Soldier POV:**  
  
The Soldier didn't know how long they had been sat in the dark of their cell but during the entire time they were there not a single peep left either of their mouths, even their breathing was barely audible. But eventually when someone came to retrieve them both he and the Asset moved automatically, their bodies running on muscle memory, he didn't know what it was but he came to the realisation that there were more guards than he thought was necessary. They were all armed to the teeth and walked stiffly with their fingers on the trigger of their guns.  
  
He didn't understand why they were so tense but it wasn't his place to question them, or anything.  
  
As they approached a corridor the Soldier looked confused at how much security there was, there was a glass(?) door at the start of it with two guards on either side with even more milling about, it opened when one of them touched a card to a metal box on the side. The red light blinked green and the door audibly clicked open. Another 20 feet (and a whole lot of guards) further and there were bars blocking the end of the corridor off from the room it led into, it had similar security to the first door and when it was opened and they were led inside the Soldier heard it lock automatically behind them.  
  
The Soldier felt a surge of excitement, the technology was so advanced! He wondered how it worked and it was like something straight out of a movie. A movie? The Soldier hadn't ever seen a movie so why did that come to mind? Had he- NO he had to stop thinking about that. Had to stop questioning things.  
  
He wasn't allowed.  
  
He was just glad that his face had managed to remain stoic and emotionless even as he had freaked out over security of all things, but he didn't know why it had excited him so much. But even though that had happened he didn't want to know why, because it was likely because of something from his time before Hydra. And they weren't allowed to know anything about their time before Hydra. It wasn't permitted. They had been made to forget for a reason and if they remembered they had to be punished and had to forget all over again and it was painful. The Soldier didn't want to do that again so he shut out anything that wasn't to do with serving Hydra and his handler.  
  
Speaking of which, they had yet to be assigned or shown their handler. He wondered what happened to the last one, no for fucks sake he had to stop doing that. Had to stop wondering and thinking and being excited and everything else that a weapon didn't need to do. That was what they had a handler for, they were simply too carry out orders and anything else that superiors at Hydra asked of them.  
  
The Soldier felt uncomfortable when he realised that someone kept looking at him, glancing around quickly he realised that the Asset kept stealing glances of him. He didn't understand why though and so when their eyes met he simply kept staring at the Asset. The Asset seemed unfazed and unapologetic that he had been caught staring, and continued looking, his eyes darted over the Soldiers face taking in the details but he didn't understand why.  
  
Eventually though the Asset seemed to have finished with whatever it was he was that he was doing and looked away, however as the Soldier quickly glanced around at their guards, he didn't know how to feel after noticing that _they_ hadn't noticed. Relief that he wouldn't be punished, and also kind of jealous. He was jealous that they had the privelige of being able to slack off like this and didn't have to worry about attacks or punishment or anything else that he and the Asset as Winter Soldiers had to worry about.  
  
Just as quickly as the thought entered his mind he banished it, he as a weapon also didn't have the privelige to feel something as irrelevant as jealousy. As the Soldier and Asset stood unmoving in the room they patiently waited for whatever it is they're waiting for. The Soldier didn't know what they were meant to be prepared for but they stood still like they were expected to, soon enough they heard the door open behind them and footsteps entering the room.  
  
The Soldier didn't think it would be possible but at the sound of approaching footsteps he manage to stand taller and straighter than he had been.  
  
Eventually the man who had walked in stepped in front of them and took his time assessing both Assets, he stood tall and his brown hair and brown eyes made him easily forgettable but the fact that he was here right now meant that he was someone important. The reason that the Winter Soldiers were a ghost story is because so few people ever had the opportunity to meet them, not even everyone at Hydra knew who the Winter Soldiers were or if they really existed at all and this man was important enough to be here.  
  
The Solider and Asset themselves weren't important but their skillset and what they could do was.  
  
The Soldier after seeing the man diverted his eyes and looked at the floor, he didn't know if this was something he was expected to do but he had done it plenty of times that it was ingrained in him enough for him to do it automatically. A few seconds passed in silence before the man, whoever he was, walked slowly forwards. The Soldier held his breath hoping it wasn't him, but as he stopped a loud CRACK filled the air.  
  
Glancing over the Soldier saw the Asset's face now turned to the side, his cheek was red from the point of impact and the mans hand was still raised in the air. "Take a lesson from that one," the man nodded his head at the Soldier, "don't look at me directly. You don't have that privelige and you never will, don't forget your place and keep staring at the floor." The Asset seemed stunned for a second before he slowly turned his head to face forward whilst keeping his eyes towards the floor.  
  
When that was done the Soldier quickly turned his own attention to the floor hoping that no-one noticed that he had ever take his eyes off it. "Now that we've sorted that out here's something- " the voice cut off abruptly with a sickening crunch.  
  
Stunned the Soldier glanced up only to see the brown hair, brown eyed man hanging lifelessly from the Asset's vice grip. It looked like the Asset had grabbed him whilst he had been turned around and wrapped his fingers around his throat before crushing his windpipe.  
  
Whilst everyone looked on in shocked silence the Soldier didn't move since he hadn't been given any orders, he needed orders to be able to do something. He was forbidden from acting on his own, especially after what happened when he and the Asset had apparently 'run away' who knows how long ago. The Soldier himself was in a state of disbelief, he couldn't believe that the Asset had done that. It was- he was at a loss.  
  
After an entire minute of nobody doing anything the Asset dropped the body before returning to attention with his hands clasped behind his back. This prompted everyone else to jump to action, the guards raised their guns and had their fingers on the trigger just in case, a majority of them pointed them towards the Asset but a few seemed to be trained in his as well. Just in case he felt like going rouge as well most likely.  
  
The guards all glanced at each other, clueless, they didn't know what to do in a situation like this. They shifted nervously until one of them seemed to come to his senses and barked at one of the others to go and get someone in charge. The guard closest to the door scrambled out as quickly as he could, and the others all stood tensely waiting for something, anything, to happen.  
  
**Asset POV:**  
  
The Asset didn't know why he did what he did.  
  
The man had slapped him before he even had a chance to process or correct whatever mistake he had made, and he felt pure, unbridled _rage_ flow through him. As he turned his eyes downwards he knew that if he looked up at that moment his eyes would be alight with fire.  
  
_'What right does he have to hurt you?'_ The Asset startled slightly at the voice, _'What makes him so important that he can hurt you? He's **weak** , he can't even defend himself that's why he needs all these guards. You should show him why he shouldn't fuck with you, make it so he can't ever do it again to you or... the Soldier."_ For reasons unknown to the Asset at the implication that he could do that to the Soldier- _hurt_ the Soldier.  
  
He snapped.  
  
Before he knew it he had the mans throat in his hand and he was squeezing, the thought that maybe he should just scare him enough to fear him crossed his mind before he dismissed the thought. He would make it so that this man couldn't hurt anyone ever again, the Asset knew he had no right to play judge, jury and executioner. Especially not with all the blood on his hands. But if he did it so that someone else (the Soldier) didn't have to, he would.  
  
By the time he crushed the mans neck he had come to terms with the fact that he would be punished, severely. But he didn't mind.  
  
Even after the man was dead he kept holding onto his body, he wanted to make sure the man was truly dead. After all it wouldn't do if he survived and decided to get his revenge after recovering, that would just be embarrassing if he, as an infamous assassin couldn't even kill someone properly. After a minute or so he was sure that the man was dead and dropped the body, glancing around the room he could see the Soldier looking at him slightly baffled (though he did well to hide it.) The Asset knew that there was no point in trying to escape, there were too many guards and he didn't have the necessary security to make it past the first set of doors. So he stood tall and straight with his hands clasped behind his back, the guards were all quick to withdraw their guns and point it at him, though some also aimed at the Soldier. The Asset felt protective of the Soldier though he didn't know why, and so he stood still hoping that he wouldn't startle any of them into firing, they all shifted nervously unsure of what to do though he couldn't blame them. He wasn't really expecting himself to kill a Hydra member when he walked in this room either.  
  
Eventually someone took charge and ordered for one of them to bring someone in charge and he heard footsteps running away. Coward.  
  
The Asset didn't know how long had passed but eventually the sound of the door opening was heard once again, he heard people entering - so many of them. He heard multiple guns being cocked and he wasn't the least bit surprised, he knew what he was doing, knew the consequences of his actions, knew that he would have to accept them and he was ready to do just that. "Which one of them was it?" A smooth voice called out, clearly wanting to know whether it was him or the Soldier who had broken their programming.  
  
The Asset didn't turn to see the owner of the voice, after all there was no point. The face as well as this entire encounter would be wiped from his mind soon enough but he had no regrets and he wasn't going to start now. One of the guards who witnessed what had happened seemed to build up the courage to speak up, "It was that one, the Asset," he could feel all of their eyes turn to him, could feel their eyes on him. Almost as if they believed it they stared at him hard enough he would disintegrate.  
  
The guards advanced towards him, guns raised with fingers on the trigger ready to shoot at a moments notice. When they got within reaching distance of him multiple guards all tensed at once, he knew they were about to attack him so that he could be restrained but he remained unmoving.  
  
So when he was tackled to the ground by three guards he wasn't surprised, one guard sat on his back whilst another restrained his feet as the third handcuffed him.  
  
He was roughly pulled up afterwards and found himself face to face with a man not like the guards. He wasn't dressed in their attire and wasn't even _carrying_ a gun, before the Asset could even do anything he was once again slapped. His face whipped to the side and his cheek stung from the impact, "Don't look at me directly, you're hardly important enough for something as simple as even that. Now be a good dog and keep staring at the ground."  
  
The Asset felt the same anger as before rise up in him, he has just killed a man for doing that and now he was doing it as well. At least the first man had enough courage to do it whilst he was unrestrained but this one was even more cowardly than the last. And defiantly ~~stupidly~~ lifted his head and _glared_ at him with all his might, he hadn't even looked for a second before he was once again looking at the floor and his cheek burnt hotter.  
  
"Misbehaving dogs need to be punished and retrained, take him to the chair." The mans voice was calm and level and didn't even have a hint of the violence of the words he had spoken. If someone went off of tone alone they never would have been able to tell that he had just ordered for his torture, his voice didn't match the malice of what he had spoken and it made the Asset even angrier that he could sat something like that so calmly. As if they really weren't anything more that weapons - or dogs as everyone liked to call them.  
  
As the Asset was dragged out he could see everyone throwing dirty looks his way, bastards couldn't do anything else.  
  
As they finally arrived at the room containing the chair they roughly pushed him into it and restrained his legs and chest before taking the handcuffs off. When he was fully secured to the seat a mouthguard was unceremoniously shoved into his mouth and he roughly bit down on it as he waited in anticipation, he knew that this was going to be painful. ' _At least we managed to piss them off,'_ the Asset wanted to groan in frustration. That fucking voice was back.  
  
**_'Yeh we did, but now we're going to have to deal with the consequences of doing that.'_**  
  
_'It'll be okay, now at least they'll be more wary of us and by association the Soldier. Though he won't have to suffer any of the punishments don't worry.'_  
  
**_'Us?'_** He didn't understand what the voice meant by 'us', they weren't a single person. Were they?  
  
_'Yeh, us. We're one person, you **are** aware of that right?'_ The voices answer shocked him, because that meant somehow he wasn't the only one. He wasn't who he thought he was, and... did he really even know himself?  
  
_**'What? I didn't know that. Does that mean-'**_ the Asset was snapped out of his conversation as voices caught his attention, as he tuned back into reality he realised that the Soldier was stood in front of the door watching him.  
  
The man who had been called in was stood next to him looking bored and waved hits hand at the scientist's he hadn't realised had entered, "Turn the voltage up to the highest you safely can and don't stop, not until I tell you to. Understood?"  
  
"Understood."  
  
Abruptly the Asset's head was yanked back by a hand in his hair, it was painful and a strap was fastened across his neck tightly. Tighter than was comfortable. The Asset could do nothing but watch as the headpiece of the chair lowered slowly, electricity crackling and jumping violently.  
  
When it finally made contact with his face he couldn't fathom the pain, it had never - _never_ hurt like this before. This pain was so much more than anything he had ever felt before. It was pain that made him forget everything that existed outside of it, it tore screams from his throat and he tried to get away from it but the restraints held him down. He writhed in agony and cried, for the first time in what he could remember he _cried_.  
  
It was slowly making him forget but all he could focus on was the pain, and it wouldn't stop, it just kept going... and going... and going.  
  
He tried to get his arms free, if he could do that then he had a chance of getting away from it. He just about had the ability to tug on one of his arms, he tugged and tugged and kept doing it, anything at all for the pain to stop. He tried with all his might and sobbed but he didn't know if it was in relief or pain - a bit of both - when he heard it creak under pressure and give the slightest leniency. How long had he been here? It felt like this had been going on for an eternity, this was almost all he knew and he didn't want it. He wanted to forget this. No shit he wanted to get away, he kept tugging but whatever was holding didn't seem to want budge an inch, he sobbed in pain. When was the last time he cried?  
  
He couldn't remember why this was happening, what had he done? But the pain just kept coming.  
  
Eventually the pain started to dull and he (who was he anyway?) could feel himself start to drift away from it all, he welcomed the peace with open arms.  
  
Just before he was dragged into the blissful peacefulness he heard something he won't ever forget, "Remember this exact moment for the next time you feel like rebelling." The voice was distant almost as if it wasn't talking to him but the words stuck with him, he wouldn't forget. No matter how hard he tried, he never wanted to go through that again.  
  
  
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When he started to come to he realised that he couldn't move, he still couldn't move! God, why? He sobbed in pain and frustration, he didn't want to go through that again, please! He was begging anyone, anything that would listen. He cried and begged and pleaded anything at all so that he wouldn't go through that again, he didn't even know if anyone heard him. He couldn't even tell what was real or fake, if he was even speaking aloud or just thinking it.  
  
When time passed and no-one came to set him free he cried, he wished that whoever was there would have some mercy, an ounce of pity to spare.  
  
He felt something warm wrap around him, it was comforting and his limbs were set free but he just curled into the fetal position and tried to protect himself from, everything. " _Hey, hey it's okay. You're safe for now."_  
  
The voice seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere, it seemed to try and be comforting him but, **_"I don't believe you."_**  
  
_"Yeh okay fair enough, but if you open your eyes and look around you'll see we aren't there anymore. At least for now."_ He didn't know what compelled him but he opened his eyes and peaked over his arm. And the voice was telling the truth, he wasn't there- wherever there was.  
  
In from of him stood a man, his tan skin, honey eyes and fluffy black hair made him seem harmless, but his toned arms and strong stance screamed that he could defend himself. He wore a goatee with pride and a blue glowing circle sat in the middle of his chest, but for whatever reason he didn't think it was strange. On the contrary it looked quite normal on the man. He looked so familiar.  
  
Instead he questioned the man who seemed to be his saviour, _ **"How did we get out?**_ " He wanted to sob in relief, he knew if he wasn't already lying down he would have fallen to his saviours feet and thanked him until he ran out of breath.  
  
_"Ah, see that's the thing,"_ the man looked around uncomfortably for a second before turning to him with a steeled resolve, _"we're still there."_  
  
He looked at the man as if he had lost his mind, the grass they were sat on and the lake not even three feet away begged to differ. But before he could ask what he meant the man explained, _"You're still there but this here, where you are right now, this is all in your head. Now! Before you call me crazy just... listen to me. You're currently unconscious. This is all just inside your head."_ He started to laugh, oh god what was happening to him.  
  
_**"So I'm crazy? I'm going crazy? What the fucks going on?"**_  
  
_"Hey calm down, calm down now. You're not crazy, this is really happening. We're still you just, different aspects of you."_  
  
**_"We? You mean there's more than you?"_** He couldn't believe what he was hearing.  
  
_"Yeh. But just one other and he's not very... talkative or sociable. We should probably leave him alone for a while. Until he gets more comfortable with us, but until then I need you to listen to me okay?"_ When the other him(?) saw him nod in confirmation he let out a relieved sigh. _"Okay you're meant to be waking up any moment now so before that happens I need to tell you this okay? It's okay if you forget, no-one's expecting you to remember, especially not after what happened. It's okay if you don't remember this but just know that we're here for when times get rough, we'll help you however we can. And don't give up. I'll try and help you however I can."_  
  
Before he could reply to the man he was falling, he didn't know where he was going but he couldn't resist, _"You're going to be okay. You don't have to be afraid, you'll be safe eventually. We promise."_  
  
  
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When he opened his eyes the Asset glanced around the dark cell before making his way over to a wall to lean against. There was no sign of the Soldier anywhere and that set him on edge, for whatever reason he refused for any harm to come to the Soldier, it was almost instinct to protect him however he could.  
  
But staring at the darkness in front of him the Asset thought back to the just thing he could remember and that was his punishment, the unforgiving, merciless pain. He could still feel its unrelenting hold on him.  
  
As he sat there he could do nothing except wait for his next mission, his next set of orders and for his hands to be dripping with blood once again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is longer than all my other ones, it's almost 4000 words and I'm so proud of myself. Hope you guys enjoyed and also dont forget to leave a comment even if it is just an emoji or keyboard smash I love reading them all no matter what.
> 
> Also kinda IMPORTANT. Do you guys want me to deal with thanos in this series? Or can I kill him off offscreen coz I haven't decided yet so I'm fine going whatever you guys want


	24. Alexander Pierce: Introduced

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Almost 4000 words again I'm so happy

**Asset POV:**  
  
The Asset hated this.  
  
He couldn't remember much - that wasn't a surprise though - but everyone kept glaring at him and _it was annoying._ It annoyed him because, these were meant to be his superiors and all they had the guts to do was stare? He was tempted to punch a motherfucker but the ghost pain of his last punishment still lingered. He knew he had been punished for disobeying orders and that was something he wasn't planning on doing again anytime soon.  
  
He was currently stood in a room with a ridiculous amount of guards and security, he stood next to the Soldier as they waited for... whatever it was they were waiting for.  
  
The guards all kept their distance from them with a large majority of them not even trying to hide their hostility or the fact that their hands were on their guns ready to shoot at a moments notice.  
  
Eventually though the door behind them opened, neither the Asset or the Soldier turned to look at who had entered. Multiple footsteps entered, five of them stopped behind them and it took every ounce of his control to not turn around to assess the threat.  
  
One pair though walked around them to stand in front of them. Glancing at whoever it was the Asset felt the blood drain from his face as familiar dirty blonde hair that was turning gray at the temples and cruel icy blue eyes met his. Not even a split second after their eyes met he was looking at the floor, the punishment from last time repeating in his head. This man while not trained in combat or any sort of fighting styles was terrifying.  
  
He held power and was a heartless creature, the Asset could feel his heart racing and he wanted to curl into a little ball and hide in the corner, hoping that he could vanish from the mans eyesight. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so afraid, not so much afraid of the man but moreso of what he could do. Of what he was _unafraid_ to do.  
  
The Asset stared down at the mans shoes as he stopped in front of him, he kept looking down not even tempted to look up or show a hint of defiance.  
  
Staring hard at the ground the Asset flinched, though it was barely noticeable, at the hand that landed in his hair. But he still wasn't tempted to look up. The hand on his head ruffled his hair ~~he really was treating him like a dog.~~  
  
"See, it looks like you've learnt your lesson now. That's good isn't it?" Though the last part was framed as a question, the Asset could tell it was rhetorical.  
  
As the man stepped away he clapped together his hands before calling for their attention. "You can look up now," the Asset was still reluctant to do so, he didn't want to go through that punishment again. "That's an order," when he spoke again his voice was like ice, nothing like the cheerful tone he had been using before, he sounded pissed and annoyed. But at those words the Asset didn't hesitate to look up, it was an order after all.  
  
"Now you must be wondering why you're here, and I'll explain all that right now. Right behind you two are five more Winter Soldiers. They are some of Hydras most competent soldiers and the most skilled. Right behind you of course.  
  
Now even though they are extremely talented we haven't quite been able to teach them like we did with you, no-one here is on par with their strength except for the others quite obviously. And because of that we can't safely teach them new fighting techniques without risking injury or death to the handler's, that's where you come in. You will teach them everything you've learnt okay?" The Asset didn't understand why the man kept framing his orders as questions, it wasn't like they could disagree if they wanted to.  
  
"Now why don't you two get into position, we'll have you demonstrate what to do," as he and the Soldier started to move into position were stopped by the man's voice. "Oh I've just realised you don't know who I am, allow me to tell you. I'm your new handler, Alexander Pierce. You'll be working for me a lot.  
  
Now that we've gotten that out the way off you go, get into position."  
  
The Asset and the Soldier stood across from each other though he was pretty tense, he didn't like the man, he was fucking terrified of him and didn't want him as their handler. In the end though it didn't matter what he wanted and whether or not he was scared of their new handler, he got no say in it. His opinion didn't matter.  
  
For the next hour and a half he and the Soldier would demonstrate moves for the other soldiers and then they would repeat them, the situation felt oddly familiar but the Asset couldn't put his finger on why.  
  
Soon enough their handler had them stop, "I think it would be good training for you to fight each other, get used to fighting different opponents," he paired the Asset up with one of the other male Winter Soldiers and the Soldier up with the female Winter Soldier, the other three sat out and watched. Their handler first had the Soldier and the woman fight, the fight lasted a little over half an hour since they had been forbidden from breaking bones or seriously injuring one another. The Soldier ended up winning in the end, his strength overpowering the woman's own and her speed, his muscle had also protected him from a majority of her hits, his metal arm had also helped him grey some strong, painful hits in.  
  
He felt a twinge of sympathy for her, he knew how painful it was to be put in the chair. They especially liked to do it when one of them lost a spar, it was one of the ways they reminded them that failure wasn't a choice. "Okay, now it's your turn," their handler turned to look at him and the other Winter Soldier, the Asset looked at him in disguised shock, he wasn't going to send her to the chair?  
  
He didn't stop to stare for long though and walked to the centre of the room in preparation to spar, "First one to knock the other to the ground and have them lay there for 10 seconds, remember no breaking bones or any other serious injuries. Now start!"  
  
The second the handler finished saying 'start' the other Winter Soldier lunged at him. The Asset brought up his metal arm and blocked the punch that was thrown his way, grabbing a hold of the fist he used his opponents momentum against him as he tugged on his arm whilst simultaneously turning out of the way, with a well placed push to his back the other Winter Soldier fell to his knees but before the Asset could take advantage of the situation the Soldier on the floor kicked out his leg and caused him to fall backwards. The Asset caught himself on his hand and sprung himself back up, looking at his opponent the Asset could see how experienced a fighter he was and that this would be a difficult fight.  
  
For the next hour or so the Asset and the new Winter Soldier exchanged punches, kicks and everything short of killing each other and breaking the rules that had been set to try and win. After sparring for so long the Asset was starting to get frustrated, he didn't understand why they weren't being permitted to break bones, it's not like these were rules they would have to follow out in the field. The Asset doubled over from a punch, before he had a chance to protect himself there was a hand slamming into his back and he was thrown into the ground.  
  
He'd had enough, there was a surge of anger and he was electrified, he shot to his feet and wrapped his fingers around the others neck and **_slammed_** him into the wall, the Winter Soldier looked dazed and his eyes were unfocused. The Asset squeezed he would make sure his opponent stayed on the ground for 10 seconds.  
  
"Asset! Stop! Drop him!" He registered his handlers voice and the orders he was issued, he hesitated for a second before dropping him and stepping away. That second of hesitation though was noticed though by his handler, the Asset could tell that he was beyond pissed.  
  
"Guards! Take all the Soldiers except this one -" his handler pointed at him, "- back to their quarters." The guards all gathered around and corralled each soldier out the room and soon enough the only people left in the room was him, his handler and a few guards, but soon even they were asked to leave and they did so however reluctantly it may have been.  
  
As the door shut behind the last guard on his way out the Asset waited for something to happen, "You know, you really are disobedient. I had thought that putting you in the chair and punishing you would have been enough incentive for you to behave but clearly I was wrong." Throughout his little speech the handler had been pacing angrily, when he was finished talking he stopped in front of the Asset and slapped him, he could see the way his handler kept clenching and unclenching his fists clearly trying not to let his frustration take over.  
  
When he finally stopped in front of the Asset a slow smile spread across his face, "Take your shirt off," the Asset looked up in confusion and saw the handlers face morph from a sort of smugness into anger when the Asset didn't do what he said, seeing the anger appear on his face he scrambled to do what was asked of him, pulling off his shirt he held it in his hands awaiting for his next set of instructions. The Asset felt exposed standing in the middle of the room under the watchful eyes of his handler, he walked behind him and the Asset tensed, he didn't like not being able to see potential threats.  
  
"Now kneel," the Asset didn't understand the strange set of instructions but did as he was asked, "stay like that, if I come back here and you're not in this exact position I will make you regret it understand?" The handlers voice was cold as ice and the Asset knew he was on thin ice so he nodded in answer, when he heard the door behind him close he didn't move an inch.  
  
When the handler returned five minutes later the Asset tensed, he didn't know what to expect. Normally he would be sent to the chair and that was that. With this, he didn't want to expect.  
  
"Don't move a muscle, and if you make a sound loud enough to annoy me you'll have it a lot worse." Before he could wonder what was meant by the statement there was a loud CRACK and his back sparked up with pain, the Asset let out a whimper and tried to move away from the pain before remembering what he had been told just seconds ago. The Asset bit his lip and tensed his muscles, when the pain came once again he was prepared but it didn't help with the pain much.  
  
He could feel his back being ripped and slashed open but there was nothing he could do, he bit his lip and clenched his fists trying to redirect his attention away from the pain. He eventually drew blood but the dull stinging paled in comparison to the pain in his back, he could feel blood running down his back.  
  
It was getting so bad it felt like his bones were being slashed open, the Asset couldn't tell how long it had been but when the pain finally stopped he felt like sobbing in relief, "Hands behind your back, make sure none of the blood drops onto the floor. If I see a single drop we'll just do this all over again." The Asset quickly hurried to obey his orders, he just wanted to not be in pain, hands behind his back the Asset could feel the drops of blood running down his back slowly collecting in his hands.  
  
He could feel the air hitting his open wounds and it cooled the burning sensation which made him feel so relieved. But the sensation of his skin slowly but surely sticking itself back together was unsettling and uncomfortable.  
  
He noticed that his healing and fighting abilities were affected by how healthy he was, he remembered specifically when they starved him and the Soldier, he had recovered quicker than the Soldier but he still took much longer than usual to heal.  
  
The Asset didn't know how long he knelt there collecting blood in his hands, he wondered what he looked like to anyone who might walk in, probably a little psychotic. After who knows how long the handler spoke.  
  
"Hopefully you've learnt your lesson Asset, now you might want to get up, try not to spill too much of your blood. It's hard to clean up."  
  
The Asset hurried to his feet and slowly brought his hands to his side careful not to spill any of the blood on his hand, as he stood he winced in pain, the dried blood on his back stretched across his back and flaked off and some of the freshly healed/healing lashes on his back tore open again.  
  
"Let's get you back to your cell now." The Asset trailed behind his handler back to his cell, when they reached it the Asset entered and as the door closed behind him he was once again plunged into the darkness.  
  
The Asset crawled into the corner of his cell, being cornered probably wasn't the best move strategically but he liked it. When in a corner it was impossible for enemies to sneak up behind him or from his blind spots, they were forced to approach him head on and fight. And when in a corner it limited the range of attacks that could be used as well as the direction, and being covered on all sides made him feel... safe.  
  
The Asset ended up falling asleep in that position, but when he opened his eyes it was to a familiar landscape. Grass stretched out in front of him before stopping gradually at a calm river with a cosy wooden house say besides it.  
  
The view felt familiar to him but he was almost certain that he had never been here before, "That's because you haven't," the sudden voice scared the Asset - he will forever deny the 'scared squeak' that was torn from his mouth - spinning to face the owner he felt himself relax when he recognised the brown haired man from before.  
  
But when he processed the words that were spoken to him, he looked at other him - he really had to come up with a name for the man that wasn't 'other him' - in confusion, he was almost certain he hadn't spoken aloud. "Oh you don't have to speak out loud we can hear each other's thoughts I guess, after all we are one person and currently in our shared headspace. We just move our mouths to talk because it's what we're used to doing.  
  
"That makes sense, speaking of which what's your name? Because I've just been calling you other me this entire time."  
  
Other him let out a small laugh before replying, "My names Tony," as soon as the name left his mouth Anton felt like crumbling. He was, is? Tony but at the same time he wasn't but other him, Tony, was him. Tony he meant. But if the Tony in front of him was the 'real' Tony then, what did that make him?  
  
Was he an imposter? A fake? Was he ever supposed to exist? He - Anton, he was Anton he could remember that now (he would probably forget when they woke up though.) He felt like crumbling, looking at his hands Anton wondered if he was even real, if any if this was real.  
  
If Tony here was the real Tony why was he, Anton, in charge of the body, why was he conscious most of the time if Tony was the 'real' him. He was starting to hyper ventilate, was that even possible if he wasn't in his(?) real body. "Hey hey hey, calm down, c'mon deep breaths. In and out, and in, and out, that's great you're doing great." When Anton finally got his breathing under control he looked up at Tony, he was older than him, did that mean he knew what was happening? "Honestly I'm as confused about most of this as you are but I'll answer what I can. Like I told you before we're all apart of Tony, just, different aspects of him. I was here first, so I've got all the original memories but something happened - that something being Hydra - it was too traumatic for me and, you were created? I guess to help with the trauma. But then something happened, I'm not sure what since I'm never really in control of the body much anymore and he was created. To help with your trauma maybe? I'm not sure how all this works, I'm not a psychologist."  
  
"He? You mentioned another aspect(?) last time as well, but I haven't seen anybody else."  
  
"Yeh, umm right behind you-" Anton turned to look behind him and scrambled back when he saw a looming figure stood behind him. How had he not realised!? "That's the other aspect - yeh I'm just calling us aspects - he doesn't talk much. He won't tell me his name so I've named him Zima, which is Russian for winter I think, and he seems pretty happy with the name so yeh."  
  
"Okay so let me get this straight," Anton kept a wary eye on 'Zima' he wouldn't admit it but he was unnerving, "you were here first, then it was me and then him. We're all different parts of the same person, who was originally just you? But now is all of us and not just you?"  
  
"Yeh I'm pretty sure that's right."  
  
Anton was confused though, if he was mostly in charge of the body now, and Tony was in charge of it before. "When does Zima take over the body?"  
  
"He doesn't really do it often but occasionally something happens where he's yanked to the front and you're normally dumped here unconscious, or panicking. You never really realised there were others, or that this place even existed until a little while ago."  
  
Anton felt kind of bad, he could guess that Zima would take control whenever he had his blackouts or when the trigger words were used, it couldn't be pleasant for him. Especially since his handlers loved being cruel sacks of shit, he felt a pang of guilt. It was because if him that he went through so much pain.  
  
Anton yelped when his head was slapped from the back, he cradled it and turned to stare at Zima in shock. "I'm not weak, I don't need your sympathy," Anton stared at him in bewildered, he hadn't expected him to talk and his voice was so much gruffer and deeper than he had imagined it to be.  
  
"That's a first, I don't think I've ever heard him talk or even give a reaction that isn't some kind of pissed off/annoyed growl or a glare that could probably send you straight to hell." Before Anton could say anything else he was yanked away and was falling through darkness, he closed his eyes and fell peacefully. When he finally opened them again it was to darkness again, but this time it was the suffocating darkness of his cell.  
  
  
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Every day (how long had it been, days weeks, years?) after that passed in the same manner, occasionally the new Winyer Soldiers were sent out on mission but on those days nothing except who they spared with changed. He and the Soldier would once again spar and hone their abillities.  
  
The Asset - Anton? He didn't know what was real anymore and what wasn't - didn't know how long they had been awake ( it felt like a really long time though) but he still wasn't sharing a cell with the Soldier which still put him on edge. He knew he was relying on the Soldier which he shouldn't but he couldn't stop himself.  
  
  
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The Asset - Anton? Who the fuck was he, he really wasn't appreciating the identity crises - he didn't know what it was but he was on edge, he couldn't say how long they had been out of cryo, maybe years he couldn't say, but the new Winter Soldiers were occasionally sent out on missions and he and the Soldier weren't. So far they had been sent to Syria, London, etc. and had been given so many different missions: assassinations, espionage, fraudulating paperwork, you name it they did it. It was starting to worry the Asset - he was just going to start calling himself Anton, he like the name better - if they weren't sent on missions what use were they? Their handlers might decide to get rid of them if they couldn't prove their worth.  
  
Anton didn't know what to do, he couldn't voice any of his concerns or he would be exposing his weaknesses, but he had to prove his worth (and the Soldier's, he couldn't let anything happen to him) he had to do something that would prove to their handler that they were capable of being sent back out on missions, that they were still useful.  
  
The other five were currently out on a mission, protecting their own handler while they negotiated some sort of deal with some corrupt country leaders, the usual. Building up his resolve, Anton decided that he would prove that he was ready to sent out on missions with the Soldier whilst the others were away.  
  
Anton didn't know how long he spent somingbup with a plan to prove his and the Soldiers worth when someone started approaching the cell. He perked up and stood ready, when the cell door finally opened to reveal their handler Anton waited for his instructions for the day.  
  
"The other Winter Soldiers are back, you'll all be learning new moves with your handles and then sparring." The Asset gave a nod as he cursed internally.  
  
_'Well, we have the best luck don't we?'_  
  
**_'Shut up Tony.'_**  
  
**_'Why so annoyed? He's only pointing out the obvious.'_**  
  
**_'Seriously, your taking that dumbasses side Zima? I don't know why I was expecting any better when you spend so much time with him.'_**  
  
He was planning to take out his frustrations out on the new Soldiers, as much as he could anyway without breaking the rules. They were annoying, pretentious shits anyway that were coddled by everybody. He didn't understand why they (even though they were Winter Soldiers as well) got treated better than him and the Soldier (who were also Winter Soldiers.)  
  
It didn't matter, getting to his feet Anton trailed after his handler.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you to everyone who has commented and even read the story it makes me so happy that you guys read and enjoy my story.
> 
> Also I've just read up on the extremis powers again and have just been reminded of how basically invincible extremis powered individuals are and that I've watered down a lot of the stuff. So to fix it the reason Tony's extremis abilities arent anywhere near as powerful as originally portrayed like in the comics and movies I am blaming on the fact that Hydra keeps them in shitty conditions, they arent fed proper food (fed through IV's for those who dont remember) the constant torture and trips to the chair etc arent the best for being in the best physical condition.
> 
> Also kind of off topic but if anyone was wondering why Bucky and Tony dont remember anything whilst in cryo near the beginning of the story (not later on because that's when they start suppressing memories to protect themselves) it's because (in my version and head) they basically pump them full of poison before freezing them, this way the body focuses more on keeping them alive whilst in cryo and flushing the poison from the body than on healing the brain, which whilst inconvenient to lose a majority of your memories isn't really life threatening.
> 
> Long end note lots of rambling. Oh well hope you guys find this info useful or interesting at least.


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